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hi everypony. whats going on in my life rn? well see my face hurts everyday and i fucked up this semester 👍🏼 i have a new migraine diagnosis i got mid-march and basically everything sucks

#1 #2 #3 #4 #5 #shooshoo #had to drop most of my courses.#can barely do anything #max 2h screentime before the migraine starts which id been using for work #but that isn't enough time to actually do work #and a lot of days i dont even do anything and the migraines are like. hello 👋🏼 we're in the back of your mind #anyway this past year has been deeply embarrassing in general and the past semester deeply embarrassing for me academically #oh idr if i mentioned it but i got my diploma last year april and i transferred to a degree program that started sept which is 2 more years #i got sick with flu or covid like symptoms 3 times since mid december #i got my third wisdom tooth out but my fourth is still there #and i wonder if that might be contributing to it or if im just a bag of misery mysteries

"being positive attract people" cool, I don't want that therefore I haven't felt joy once in my life. They're away now?

#shooshoo #nah for real i almost earned 100 followers in a month and this is why im like this #whenever it happens it feels like buying new shoes and having to walk a few miles to break it to my own comfort #i mean given what i post about it's kinda obvious im not here to get personally noticed that much #and if I don't do that i feel like there's a wasp nest in my door frame

why is my blog green on shinigami eyes for me???

#shooshoo #like... dont u have to submit links to show up green or red?#and i certainly didn't do that

there's something deeply wrong with me, haha 😄

#shooshoo #combination of offline things reminded me of this #and i went to bed around 10:30pm but somehow kept thinking of scenarios that made me cry for 2½ hours #that was so lame too bc now im normal again (something deeply wrong BUT i just ignore it and sigh)#don't ask or behave differently with me if u see this please #just blogletting

I realized I've been. confusing Macklemore & Eminem for a long time now. not always, but for a while

#shooshoo #def after the macklemore server where we mackled for a week #somehow i know they were different people bc im pretty sure 7th century warlord is eminem right?#but somehow they fused into One White Guy™ who has something to do with music

doing calculations for school next year and I'm determined not to add to my existing loans. so i will only be accepting the grants part of my financial aid again.

this means i cannot live on campus and will have to commute 46.6 km one way every day, and leave 6:30 am. these past 2 years i have been traveling 44.4 km one way every day, and leaving 6:45 am. for 8am classes. which i was usually (read: always) late for because i would not leave that early.

awful world. looking at the prices for residence and (mandatory) eating plans is a doozy. it's so expensive. i absolutely cannot afford that though, so living on-campus is not an option. and because i would rather not coordinate a job at the same time as school, i won't be doing that (its the executive functioning being impaired and having less time... all this commuting and it will also affect the amount of aid i receive anyway).

#shooshoo #its ok i wont have to deal with having a roommate. covid. and masking #or masking at home bc hirsutism and a roommate #and i will get to eat food i like that is cooked. idk but i assume college meal plans are probably shit tbh #and i wont have to deal with. well so apparently you have to leave residence every break including week breaks which is so dumb #so i wont have to deal with that chaos #and at least i will have family. ig. as much as they do things that annoy me i will have social contact...#i need to get better at executive functioning and stuff though...

the shiverer lol

the hungerer

#shooshoo #i asked my bro if he could help me with food and he was like no #hes also sick i was thinking we could help each other 😒😔

😭😭😭😭😭 sore throat descended upon me very quickly today wtf

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