#shotgunsermon

[27spoons]

EVERYTHING BEFORE THE TITLE CREDITS. oh my god bro how did the ep tank so fast 😭 smile literally left my face the longer it went on. what HAPPENED in the writers room for half of this shit to pass 😭😭

like i loved how campy it was but the hunt scene was literally so fucking bad with framing and pacing...

also i'm gonna say it that antler queen reveal was NOT worth the wait 😭 they completely took away everything sinister about the aq from the pilot ??? shauna looks silly as hell in her little costume. maybe that was the intention but idk.

on the bright side i loved nat's get-up though. my fav lil raccoon

this season was such a rollercoaster in terms of quality 😭😭😭 I just wasn't expecting the finale to take such a nosedive in terms of quality???? like the first five minutes prepared me for something that never came and I just felt like.... I was being really poorly edged 😭

I get that the whole aq thing was meant to be like...... symbolism of the group's descent into chaos, but idk man...... shit was tacky as hell jejddbshsjsk they could have ended the episode after the title credits and I would have accepted that more than whatever the rest of the episode was 😃🔫

I also don't like how ambiguously they ended the season... cus... this is the perfect ending for it they want to not renew the show for S4, and if they do renew..... they have material to build off of, too.

oshauna bin laden need to sit her ass down goddamn!! bitch in the adult tl talking about "I was a warrior" bitch you were a dictator!!!! 😭😭😭 WHAT 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 I thought you were writing a suicide note, not fucking journalling AGAIN 😭

anyways! racoon!natalie 🫶🏻🫶🏻 natalie being the reason for rescue 🫶🏻🫶🏻 natalie 🫶🏻🫶🏻

[27spoons]

G A Y 🔫 im holding you at gunpoint

FUCK NOT YOU TOO

[27spoons]

everyone knows foreplay is the fun part this is the BEST ratio wdym... im also vibrating at a high frequency over the 100% angst YESSSSS YEEEEESSS imagine me as a cartoon villain rubbing my evil lil hands together

it was originally gonna be.... mmmmmmmm more rough and less angst. but then i was like.... what if they just.........

Longing and suffering ❤️

"Y'know," she says suddenly, her lips leaving yours to brush against your ear, "mmm… my hips have missed your hips." You exhale shakily, your voice edged with lingering pain. "Maybe your mouth should’ve admitted it sooner." She leans her head back against your shoulder, eyes fluttering closed, a delicate sigh slipping past her lips. "Maybe yours should've stayed."

[27spoons]

yapping yapping yapping...

shauna's hannibal ass journal monologue had me CACKLING in my empty dark bedroom i was just "is she gonna say she was a queen. don't say it. don't say it shauna." and then she did and i died laughing

shauna shipman be so fr with me. you are like 40 something talking about being a warrior after microwaving a hot pocket and burning your hands on the plate. she's such a loser and i kinda love it just as much as i hate it

also MARI PIT GIRL. FLY HIGH ANGEL. i knew from the moment shauna started getting that little sadistic ass murderous look they were fucked also the personal scariest thing about shauna to me is that she's consistently portrayed as incredibly smart like she really is shannibal shector.... chat i fear melissa was so justified for pissing her pants over how scary shauna is i would too man

but i agree that the quality was just like so inconsistent i felt like i was going crazy they really edged lottie's death for like SEVEN EPISODES just to have callie push her down the fuckin stairs... diva down and it wasnt even impactful or as interesting as it couldve been

i do love lottie's baby daddying like its been 25 years and she still thinks she's the father oh girl 😭 you are the father who OVERSTEPPED

the ambigious ending also scares me but then again i am not even worried about cancellation because for it to have grown SOOO much on paramount+ and showtime too? theyre gonna milk the hell out of this show. like dexter levels of milking. we're gonna get like 8 seasons shauna original sin and a spin off series about callie or something... shits going to be atrocious

also dude WHERE THE FUCK WAS ADULT MELISSA? like she killed the fuck out of van and then just vanishes and we instead get shauna self pitying as the entire adult timeline plot almost... where the fuck is that little muppet with the hat what about her family ??? hello?????

anyways tl;dr the finale will continue to get mixed reviews from me they fumbled so bad with some of it. maybe next season we'll get the shaunanat beat up scene we deserve though . and maybe a coherent plot

"shauna's hannibal ass journal..." girl i thought this bitch was about to kill herself 😭😭😭😭 like i thought she was writing a suicide note OUIASGHUIAHGIAUH and all it was was her just... getting all delulu with her journals again 😭 "i was a warrior" girl stfu u were a dictator w a god complex 😭 sit down

"microwaving a hot pocket and burning your hands on the plate..." lowkey that was relatable asf tho.... i too be burning my hands on my plates LMAOOOO -- but then she transitioned from that into the journal entry??? girl. go to bed. get a therapist or smth 😭

"also MARI PIT GIRL. FLY HIGH ANGEL..." MARI WILL FOREVER BE AN ICON. IDC. GIRL, YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR ONE OF THE BEST OPENING SCENES IN TELEVISION HISTORY. KNOW THAT YOU DIED AS THE REAL QUEEN OF THE WILDERNESS FR. and also.... yeah i would have pissed my pants, too. (but also shauna has horrible aim. girl we both know u meant to kill her, you just cant shoot for shit. ur boyfriend didn't teach you enough, apparently)

"shannibal shector" had me CACKLING 😭😭😭😭 we just be finding new names for shauna on a daily basis now. shanninbal shector and oshauna bin ladin top tier

"edged lottie's death for like SEVEN EPISODES..." genuinely. when i saw how she died. i just sat there like "...what?" cus... first of all, a fall from that height would NOT have killed her. maybe knocked her out, concussed, something like that--but SHE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE????? not to mention the blood flow???? callie i know damn well u did NOT push her that hard. lottie matthews i am so sorry, my batshit crazy cult leader. you deserved better 😔😔 then they did that fuckass slowmo shot of her falling down the stairs???? idk dude that shit gave me 'bollywood soap opera' vibes 😭(iykyk)

"still thinks she's the father oh girl..." when this bitch started talking sm about "our baby" i was like.... girl.... why you sound like the lottie communist meme. bffr. take ur meds (lovingly)

"dexter levels of milking..." ykw.... you're probably right LMAO but the quality of the milk.... i fear we will soon be drinking from a diseased cow who has been dead for two weeks. that being said......... I'll probably watch every single morsel or scrap they give us 😔✊

"WHERE THE FUCK WAS ADULT MELISSA?" WHO THE FUCK IS LOTTIE MATTHEWS? WHERE THE FUCK IS NATALIE? man idk😭 they were just sorta like "surprise the hat chick is alive! she's gonna kill van then leave. have fun! more unresolved storylines for you guys! uwu"

tldr; dont leave me alone in a room with the yellowjackets writers. bring back the writers that y'all had pre-strike pls thank u 🙏🙏

[27spoons]

im on board with the angst anon. nats my fav and i still wanna throw her in a blender like this for funsies

like YES! torment that bleach blonde loser emotionally! can't wait for the angst to hit

ALL ME AND MY HOMIES WANNA SEE THAT BITCH SUFFER (lovingly)! YOUR LIFE CAN ALWAYS BE MADE HARDER! <33333333333333333333333333333333

WHAT'S BLONDE, WHITE, AND RED ALL OVER?!?!?!?! NATALIE SCATORCCIO IN A BLENDER AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

WHAT'S BLONDE, WHITE, AND RED ALL OVER?!?!?!?! NATALIE SCATORCCIO IN A FISTFIGHT WITH DENNY AND HIS GANG AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

...whats blonde, white, and red all over? natalie scatorccio getting a knife to the--

anyways! lost myself there for a second. that was the wilderness speaking! whoops <3

[27spoons]

yapping to you about that insane act 2 of crush and telling you about my favorite lines because i am a mutual supporter.... n e ways

"You had to fucking grip it like that?" As you continue your work, Nat snarls— or attempts to, but she really isn't that scary right now.

THIS HAD ME HOWLING and also it's so painfully nat... like i heard soapy t in my head dude.. superb dialogue all around you write her speaking patterns sooooo well.

also, this might be niche (and kinda my own freak) but the way you describe injuries really scratches (no pun intended) an itch. i love the wording you use

"I didn't even start doing shit until late sophomore year. Denny and his gang move dope, and I've always had a hard time saying no. So, when it was offered…" She shrugs, "I did some lines. But it's not something I do often."

SHE SAID THE THING!!! literally pointed at my screen like THE LINE... THE LINE...... yes....

It takes you a second to catch up and understand what's happening, but you kiss her back this time despite the tachycardia causing your chest to feel tight. 

TACHYCARDIA????? oh your wording... YOUR WORDING... ate so hard with that line i'm sorry

"Oh," Nat pulls back slightly, using her hands on your shoulders to keep you from moving back in to continue the kiss. "Yeah, I think we're a little too dressed for that."

and also

"You make it sound like we're assembling IKEA furniture," you deadpan, but the corners of your mouth twitch into a smile. "Some assembly required," she quips back, closing the distance and kissing you again.

giggled. chuckled even. you write true to canon silly nat so well

not gonna quote anything from The Action because... i'd quote the entire thing you knocked it out of the fucking PARK my friend it ATE (no pun intended) like oouguhhhh you can write sex but can you write intimacy is always the question and the answer is yes. you killed it. wonderful 10/10 no notes

final review: SO GOOD. YALL BETTER CLAP FOR THIS INCREDIBLE FUCKING WRITER RIGHT HERE !!!! and also i'm terrified for everything to go downhill but i also can't wait to see it happen because i know you're gonna make that shit HURT...

anyways thank you for entertaining this ask. 5 stars 10/10 would (and will) read again

THANK YOU FOR THIS MESSAGE IT'S GENUINELY SO NICE TO SEE PEOPLE BREAKING DOWN THE WORK AND SEEING THE REFERENCES

when i read my own works back to myself, in my head, if i cant hear sophie t's nat........... it's getting rewritten. when i was reading the first chunk of it back to soph she pointed out phrases that didn't sound right and i was like........ damn ur right.......... rewriting this

as for the injuries and technical stuff............. i have medical training so i was like "teehee i'm gonna make this descriptive"

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!! thank you for the nice comments 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i promise I'll only make the pain kinda painful in the upcoming chapter

i was looking for the first gif but after posting the answer to 🍓's ask i realise that these gifs r the same thing just in different fonts

[27spoons]

i read it with the song going in the background.. worst mistake of my fucking life dude . the way i was in SHAMBLES as i scrolled

NO BUT YOUR WORDING IS ALWAYS SO GOOD? "resting inside the stomachs of anemic and tachycardic teenagers who didn't value your sacrifice nearly as much as they should have." GOES SO FUCKING HARD MY JAW DROPPED LIKE OOOUGHHHH THAT ONES GONNA HAUNT ME (jackie style)

also "She watches it burn until it's blackened and cracked, until nothing that once loved or was loved remains." IS INSANEEEE HELLOOOOOOOO??? . do you momentarily get possessed by the ghost of dostoevsky when you write . what the FUCK !

anyways it lived up to every expectation and surpassed them as well i LOVED it im gonna think about it so hard. for months.

thank you for supplying the angst as ALWAYS and eating as always... i salute you

genuinely that was the fastest i had ever started and finished a fic............ someone needs to sedate me when i start listening to sad music cus all of a sudden i go from smuttyspoons to angstyspoons and no one can stop me....................

ive been feeling a sudden surge of inspiration recently for writing?? like i had writers block for the longest time and all of a sudden it's just like. gone. it's great

ANYWAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU FOR THE COMPLIMENTS MY ENGLISH TEACHER WOULD BE VERY PROUD OF ME 🥺 👉👈

it is also my sole job as a writer to ensure pain and suffering is received in a poetic manner 🫶🫶🫶

[27spoons]

PAIN AND SUFFERING????? wonderful im so excited to be hit with hammers... im saying things like whoopee yahoo hooray etc etc

also i read it as "blame Nat's red bra" like.. the object.. thought we were just personifying it.. and I was like yeah totally. she's lovely. I love her. THEN I REALIZED OH THE TUMBLR USERJAJDJ 😭😭😭 you can tell i went to bed at exactly 5 am and got up again at 8

I hope the pain and suffering lived up to your standards 🫡🫡🫡

you know whose standards it DIDNT live up to?

readers.

cus reader is dead.

❤️