imagine being jaskier, ur visiting Kaer Morhen 4 the first time, u meet the other witchers, they think toss a coin is fucking halarious, geralt is actually relaxed 4 the 1st time since you've met, everything is going well, eventually the pass gets blocked for the winter, ur all definitely trapped inside now, & then u become the first human to discover tht witchers get the zoomies
oh my god, they absolutely do.
because witchers are used to being highly active, right? they have incredible stamina and they can fight for hours or walk for days. even when they’re not on a contract, they’re hunting or travelling, never stopping in one place for long, barely sleeping, always another physical task ahead of them.
so they arrive in kaer morhen for the winter and the first month is warm and fun as they reconnect and reminisce. and melitele knows they need a break from working so hard the rest of the year, so they spend the first few weeks sleeping often and eating heartily and letting their bodies and minds recover.
but as important as recovery time is, when you’re used to being extremely physically active and then you do nothing for too long, your body starts to rebel. the urge to move, to run or wrestle or fight, it gets stronger and stronger and there are only so many training sessions that vesemir can run each day.
so three months in, jaskier barely raises an eyebrow when he’s woken by lambert careening down the hallway, cackling and ringing a tiny bell. close on lambert’s heels is eskel, yelling about how lambert has stolen lil bleater’s most prized possession, you heartless bastard. and anyone who expects geralt to put a stop to this silliness has clearly never seen him around his brothers, because instead of sensibly telling them to knock it off, geralt leaps from bed to join in the lambert chase.
the two of them end up catching up with lambert in the great hall and wrestling him to the ground, with eskel taking back the bell while geralt sits on him. by the time jaskier has wandered, bleary-eyed into the hall, eskel has taken off ringing the bell and lambert and geralt are now chasing him, because the witchers have apparently invented a new game.
the sun isn’t even fully up yet. it’s too early for this shit.
