#shutupqing

[qinni]

whelp. 

at least the canadian immigration site is back up? 

[qinni]

I just finished Mystic Messenger’s two secret endings and....

I

am

not

okay.

-

my god.

Saeyong...what am I supposed to do with all my feelings for you?

I didn’t sign up for this.

[qinni]

Made chili hot sauce for the first time ever and I have realized the power of natural chili oil. it’s been hours and my hand is still burning up. I accidentally touched my eye too and it was NOT GOOD. XD;;;; (it is okay now xD. i didn’t touch much and managed to get it out)

does anyone know when that’ll go away? xD;;; 

I tried googling it and tried different stuff but it doesn’t work for me...and i don’t wanna waste milk...yet. I wanna know how long it’ll last first and maybe i can just withstand it lol

[qinni]

If anyone starts chatting with me and then I stop replying, this means you’ve stressed me out to the point where I no longer want to continue our conversation. Please don’t keep going.

edit : okay not always, sometimes I just forget to reply, but please look over your own posts to see if i’m answering in 1 word replies, that means i’m getting tired.

- 

 This is one of those moments that makes me really regret chatting with people online.

They’re constantly unhappy that other artists are better than them, but doesn’t want to put in the work and effort to study art. And then they complain to me, a stranger online, and dismisses my advises. I don’t want to show their art but I literally drew better when I was 10. EDIT: it’s okay as long as you PRACTICE or just be happy with the fact that your art is not good (WHICH IS OKAY too, some people just do it cause it’s just fun). I’m also NOT making fun. I’m making a point of reference of what point in the road of art they’re on. Everyone has to start somewhere, as long as they’re willing to work for it they shouldn’t worry where. There are plenty of artists who are much better than I am. I don't see that as anything shameful or be unhappy about, I just need to work harder.

That’s not to say that’s particularly a bad thing, but it’s only not bad if you’ve got the the will to study and get better; or if you just don’t care that you don’t draw well. You can’t want to draw really good, be jealous of good artists, comment stuff like “ :( ” on my art posts and “it’s too complicated” on my art-help posts, and then not put in the work, it doesn’t work like that. And that “artistic eye” thing is just cringeworthy I’m dying from awkwardness. I’m sorry but… :( ARGGGHHH. Don’t try and tell me that “normal” people don’t have “the eyes” or whatever, doing art isn’t something someone’s born with, it involves so much practice. And actual artists need to do the OPPOSITE of seeing everything in minute detail, because that’s what normal people do - focus too much on the details. Artists need to train themselves to step back and look at the artwork as a whole. This is why a lot of people starting out have so much anatomy problems they don’t realize they have until they step back.

Do some people just think I sacrificed my soul to the devil to get my draftsmanship skills or something???? Literally I still need more practice myself and I’ve been at it seriously for like 10 years. sorry, just needed to rant ughhh. 

ps. I spend so much time helping people, I don't need someone who complains to me and then brushed off my advices, making me waste my time. I'm not sorry for being straightforward; maybe I'm coming off as rude, but some people just need a rude awakening.

[qinni]

I used to complain about Canadian taxes being high, and then I found out I was sick. (I was referred to one of the best cardiac hospitals in Canada.)

THEN, I found out open heart surgery can cost around $190,000 to $300,000 in the US (wtf??), and I just had 3 done in the last 3 months so I would’ve been $600,000 - $900,000 in the red, I’m so fucking glad I’m in Canada you don’t even know. 

And I’ll never complain about taxes again. at least, for a few decades, lol. 

ps. also, apparently now I’m a case study at the hospital I went to and all the cardiologists know of me because my heart disease was so weird and no one has ever heard or seen of the weird tissue growth in and around it. thus the 3 surgeries. 

[qinni]

After 3 surgeries in 2 months you’d think I’m allowed to complain a little without people telling me I should just be thankful I’m alive.

For at least 2 weeks in the hospital, before my 3rd surgery, I was in horrible pain and coughing up blood, unable to sleep because I’d cough up a lot of blood every hour, shitting myself because of the potassium pills I had to take, I wanted to kill myself just to end the real nightmare I had to relive over and over again. It took them 10 days to give me a CTscan and realize that my heart valve had slid off again, one of my lungs is filling up with blood, and my liver was dangerously enlarged. By the time 3rd surgery had come and gone, I’d pretty much given up trying to feel things. The only thing I could feel was that fear I’d have to get another surgery. Of course by the time I got out of the hospital, I wasn’t feeling that optimistic yet. In fact, I still don’t. I know I will one day, but it’ll take time. I think should be able to complain juuuuust a little bit about the fact that compared to the people around me and a lot of people my age, I’m a liiiiittle unlucky, especially since I have to get my blood tested and take blood thinning medication for the rest of my life. Just a bit.

[qinni]

I’ve been feeling like shit all night with pretty strong palpitation (when your heart beats irregularly loud) and coughing (but not that much; mostly just lung stuff) all the symptoms of before my heart surgery which my doc told me to call 911 for before my surgery, but it’s worse this time cause sitting up isn’t fixing it. …and now I’ve realized I’ve been coughing up a little blood when I went to the bathroom and now I have to go to the hospital. At 3am. I managed to talk my mom out of calling 911. I do not need the stress of dealing with that cause my hives are back tonight already. Man, I just cannot catch a fucking break this year hahahaha…. fffffffffff *flip all the tables*

[qinni]

...don’t tell me traditional mediums feel more “real” than digital art and then show me a traditional artist who literally just copies digital artists work using traditional mediums -___-;;;. 

And seriously, I’m so tired of people saying one medium’s better than the other ugh. both have their merits, just leave artists to work with whatever they like :/. Draftsmanship is a required skill in either case, unless you’re working abstract or something. Good digital artists will have no problem transitioning to traditional, as long as given enough time to get used to the medium, and vice versa. I seriously can’t believe people are not over this already, it’s been 10 years I've been online for art and I still hear people complain about each other’s mediums. Good lord. 

/endrant