#side plott

[obigem]

"Let Cordelia and Alphie go at least. Please. She's my baby girl."

"Are you… crying?" Val looked at him incredulously.

"Mr. Valerian, I am many things. I'm a complete and total dork. I know machines better than most. And I am complete mush for my family. I am not cool."

"You know machines?"

"Yes! That's the whole reason I'm here. My android, Alpha C01, I was hoping you could help me with her. Help me refine her. But then I told that stupid lie, and then you aimed a lazer at my junk. and—ugh, I'm gonna die crying while a lazer lobs off my dick!"

Valerian sighed.

"Mr. Fletcher, please control yourself. HANSEL, heartrate check."

"He's being truthful, sir. A little too honest by my assessment."

"As I thought. You really aren't working with anyone are you?"

"No, I don't even know what that would mean."

"And that android. Your invention?"

"My life's work, really."

"I see. Hmm, she's impressive by this world's limited and rather remedial robotics standards. But I must say, your 'family rescue' protocall you've equipped her with is laughable."

"She's equipped with no lethal weapons but 101 individually crafted 'strongly worded phrases?'"

"Well, she's not a kill bot. I believe strongly in non-confrontational conflict resolution."

"Hmm, right. I've decided you do need my help and I've determined I'm your only hope."

"HANSEL, disengage the lazer."

"Oh thank, Watcher! Killing is so messy." HANSEL let out a sigh.

"It's your lucky day, Mr. Fletcher. I've determined you clever enough to keep alive. Or perhaps you're just too pathetic to kill."

"Umm, thank you?"

"I'm not one for hosting, but I suppose it's late in the day to piece apart your android and perfect her programming. Leanne will prepare you and the child a room. Tomorrow I'll grant you a single hour of my time and expertise. So make the most of it. And Mr. Fletcher?"

"Yes?"

"Don't waste my time. At any moment, should I find this temporary truce disagreeable, I have no problem disposing of you."

"Heh, heh. You're joking right?"

"Joking? Hmm, HANSEL make a note for me to practice my obviously joking tone."

"Of course, sir." The AI chirped.

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More Side Plott this Week! You are Invited! 💌

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ＳＩＤＥ ＰＬＯＴＴ - Ｇ Ａ Ｍ ＥＰＬＡＹ ＳＰＡ Ｍ - 𝙶𝚎𝚗 𝟼: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚆𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝙺𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙼𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙳𝚒𝚎𝚐𝚘 𝙶𝚊𝚛𝚌í𝚊 -

Argent: Now would anyone else like to try me with their bullshit today?

Any of you? No? Goddamn Correct.

Argent: Miller! García! You still ready for this? There's no going back.

Diego: As long as this is still something you want.

Kate: More than anything.

Argent: Then let's run this shit again team. From the top!

Dearly Beloved - 🎹🎻

[ THE END 🤍 ]

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THANK YOU FOR READINGGGGGGGGGG

SEE!! Happy Endings do exist in this save, you just gotta fight a little harder for em. (Or let Queenie shoot them in the head)

Special s/o to Kate's crazy face and MWS goofiness

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ＳＩＤＥ ＰＬＯＴＴ - Ｇ Ａ Ｍ ＥＰＬＡＹ ＳＰＡ Ｍ - 𝙶𝚎𝚗 𝟼: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚆𝚎𝚍𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚏 𝙺𝚊𝚝𝚎 𝙼𝚒𝚕𝚕𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙳𝚒𝚎𝚐𝚘 𝙶𝚊𝚛𝚌í𝚊 -

On an otherwise unremarkable Tuesday - On a small, innocuous island off the coast of Brindleton Bay - Hidden inside a time and weather beaten church lot -

Something extraordinary was taking place.

To a Secret Agent, lust was a commodity. Something to be used, traded for information, access - keys that opened locked doors. But a real love, an open one, was far more dangerous.

It was a challenge. One everyone in the room understood. Had experienced in some way, some quiet form.

- and all unequivocally vowed to protect.

They were her family.

And you don't fuck with family.

Maximilian Von Klein: My, my! What a beautiful Wedding.

Maximilian Von Klein: You all look so nice. But 𝙊𝙝! What a shame. What a shame the poor groom's bride is a 𝘄𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗲.

Kate: Von Klein.

Max: Hello Kitty. Did you miss me?

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[ Alejandro Voice Over ]

Dear Poppy -

If you're reading this, I've already left.

Please don't be angry with me when I tell you this - It is time for you to depart as well.

And yes, while a note tacked to the wall may be the cowards way out - I am not sure if I could bring myself to make this decision face to face.

You hold a power over me Poppy. One that to this day, I refuse to rationalize.

Even as I sit at my desk to write this, I can see your chest rising and falling on my bed. I fear it is taking everything ounce of determination I possess not to lie back down next to you.

So I remind myself again, how every time you come close to true happiness - you set it all on fire. And I am tired of getting burnt.

I love you Poppy. Nothing will ever change that. And one day, maybe you'll find someone you can love back just as completely. I had selfishly hoped it might be me, but as you say - I suppose fate has other plans.

Come find me if your heart changes. When you can stand before these demons that haunt you, let me take your hand and accept it. I won't fight them for you, but I promise I will always stay by your side. My offer remains.

So thank you. For apologizing. And for swallowing. That was hot.

Always,

Miguel: Alejandro!

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.The End 🎵 first | prev | next

Before Valerian could reach the handle of the door, a strong hand halted his progress - pressing directly on his rudely beating heart, holding him in place as electricity buzzed under warm fingertips.

Chad: Val wai-

a pause.

Chad: You're shaking.

Val: Am I ? - Sorry. Chad: So is this why you didn't go to Prom? Val: Funnily enough I didn’t feel like paying sixty bucks just to watch you ignore me. Chad: I wouldn’t have - Val I’m sorry. I got so caught up dealing with my own problems, passing high school, my dad- I’m an idiot, I didn’t think- Val: You’re not an idiot Chad. You're just shallow and self centered. And you probably didn't want to be seen hanging out with someone who looks like a human sweat stain.

Chad: Is that what you - ? Valerian do you have any idea how fucking beautiful you are?

Val: Right, sure. Without the braces, and the acne, and the thirty pounds of baby fat. Chad: What? No! You’ve always been - under all of the - y'know? Val: Terrible hats ?

Val: Y'know I get it now? It's just like you said - I'm watching this man on a stage, but I don't recognize him. It's so sad, I want to look away, but I can't. He's trapped in some fucked up sitcom and the laugh track just keeps getting louder.

Chad: I wasn't-

Val: Can I ask you for a favor? Chad: I think at this point I owe you more than one.

Val: Close your eyes.

Chad: Val I don't know if you're mentally in the place to- Val: Please. I can't do it while you're looking. Chad: Is this what you want?

Do you think it will make you happy?

Val: I don't know. But I need to try something.

Val: Just for ten seconds - please. Chad: And after that? What happens when we don't know how to stop? Val: I don't want to think about that right now.

Val: I don't know who I am anymore. I need someone to - I need you - Chad: Tell me what to do.

Val: Close your eyes. I need you to tell me what you see.

fin!

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my olds are happy, and so I am happy U-U