It's happening.
Tuesday evening was my bridal shower, prepared by a couple of friends. I'm not used to people doing things for me so I'm glad it was doctor day as well so I'd be preoccupied and not worry about something I shouldn't worry about.
Of course, getting a pap smear and a transvi ultrasound in the morning (sorry, too much? haha) were not entirely a joy. (My married friends tell me thats what you call it when you're in the know. "Oh I just got a transvi done this morning" like its some mysterious scientific activity). I also didn't have time to wait for a woman doctor for my ultrasound so I had to ignore the fact that my ultrasound was performed by someone that could be my much-older uncle.
MAN THAT HURT. Getting your uterus measured ain't no joke! In any case, all of that was normal he said. #smallvictory
Anyway, this is about my BRIDAL SHOWER. Yes. So as I requested, no strippers (not even midget strippers - thats a thing now, apparently) and no alcohol. I just wanted to chill. Its been so hectic that I sleep maybe 3 hours a night if at all.
It was humbling and a joy to be given a bridal shower like that. Some of my closest, dearest friends basically played silly games and then shared about when they met me and stuff. The hosts (Rory and Bianca) asked what everyone liked about me the most and... geez how did I not cry that night? (Ok maaaybe I teared up a teensy bit!) To be told the things my friends said - I wish I recorded all of that so when I'm not particularly chirpy and its a really bad day, I can remember that I am loved.
You see, I've seen through the years that my Christianity has determined much of how I treat my friends and how I show them I value them. It's been tough, as relationships go - there's been some weeding out especially when the other person either doesn't respect my boundaries or basically bullies me - but I've sifted and mourned and forgiven. Now I've been left with gold. I haven't ever aspired to be popular in my life, and my introversion helps me uphold that. Nifty eh? But yes. Quality, quality, quality.
What I'm trying to say I guess, is that when I think about what my life has grown into, I am glad. Glad that my friendships are real, and that I know for sure that I was always running after someone understanding their worth. Not just their worth to ME, but their worth in this WORLD.
I've been misunderstood a lot which is part of the human experience, and mostly I've let that be. Being misunderstood... that happens to all of us. But I've also been called fearless, a visionary and REAL. That's something I've always hoped to be - real.
What was most lovely to me were the prayers everyone had for me. I'm happy I got to record THOSE. Somehow, in all of my mistakes and meanderings, in all my unintentional insensitivity and stubbornness, and despite how others may have labeled me a "backslider", I know what I know: that God has never left me, nor I His side. That I've tried to love the best I can and in the way I've been taught how. Maybe not to each person's liking or definition, or understanding. But I loved nonetheless.
Glad that my faith doesn't look like anyone else's but mine. And my friendships are transcendent.
Now THAT is what I call a bridal shower.