Ready Player One Review
This review contains no spoilers for the movie.
Apparently I never detailed the harrowing story of how Ready Player One made me sicker nearly than I’ve ever been in my life.
So my husband and I went to go see this movie on Friday. The only regular showing was at like 10:45PM and I was like, “No, fuck that, I don’t want to wait until almost 11PM to go see this movie.” So my husband informs me there’s an earlier showing, but “it’s in IMAX.” Okay, whatever, let’s just go. I’ve heard mixed reviews about this, and I’m not particularly thrilled to see it, but I’m also trying to keep an open mind and spend time with my spouse so I want to go see it because of that.
What he fails to tell me, and I don’t realize until a theater employee is shoving glasses at me, is that this will be a 3D showing of it. Yay. Now I wear glasses already, so I am not a big fan of seeing movies in 3D just because it’s annoying to have to wear two pairs of glasses, but I digress.
We get in, order our food and drinks and settle in for a few hours of 80's shit thrust into our faces.
The movie is kind of whatever to me, it’s not amazing, but it’s not actually bad either, but I notice my neck is kind of starting to feel stiff and weird. I try to crack it repeatedly, thinking that will help it go away. No.
It creeps up the back of my skull, and then my head is throbbing. The next thing I know, Art3mis is telling Parzival they have to dance and they’re doing a big disco scene mid-air and she’s swooping around him leaving light trails. The camera is absolutely not grounded anywhere and likes to swoop around while they’re also swooping around. It’s not a good time.
I start to feel sicker than I can recall ever feeling in a long time. I can’t stand to look at the screen anymore. Everytime I try, my head throbs painfully and I feel like I’m going to get sick. I’m full of overpriced nachos and soda, so this is exceptionally unappealing.
Eventually, I give up and just take the glasses off and cover my eyes (like hands clamped over to block out as much light as I can), because even flashes of light make it all hurt again. I don’t want to leave, because I know my husband is very excited to see this movie, so I spend literally half the movie hiding my face from the screen and just trying to piece together the plot from what I can hear. It was an interesting experience. I don’t honestly remember much of it.
When I got home, I had the overwhelming urge to sleep, so I did. I slept for a day straight, no joke. I had brief periods where I would wake up, talk to a friend about how awful I felt, then doze back off.
Ready Player One literally made me so sick I had to sleep for a solid 24 hours to cope.
My husband thinks it’s simulation sickness; a subset of motion sickness. I’ve never had something set it off so bad, and I’ve seen plenty of movies in IMAX and IMAX 3D.
So this is also a cautionary tale: If you think you might even be a LITTLE BIT sensitive to getting sick because of lots of swooping camera movements and bright colors and CGI, then probably avoid this one.

















