==> Be the obstinately hipster troll.
Your name is WINONA SKITUS. You are roughly SEVEN SWEEPS old and you like and hold a PASSIONATE INTEREST in INDIE MUSIC, DOCUMENTARIES, and SOCIAL NETWORKING SITES. You like to think that you are TUMBLR FAMOUS and therefore a REALLY BIG DEAL. You are also a self proclaimed POET and have written several poems about the TRAGEDY OF LIFE EVERYWHERE AND HOW PEOPLE WITH FUNNY HATS SHOULD NOT BE MADE FUN OF BY PEOPLE WITH EVEN FUNNIER HATS EVEN IF THEIR HATS ARE WAY FUNNIER BECAUSE FOR ALL YOU COULD KNOW THEY COULD BE GETTING A BUCKET OR THREE THROWN AT THEM EVERY DAY BY THEIR TORTUROUS LUSUS. You have very little interest in ROLEPLAYING, but when you do it when you find yourself bored by the activity anyways. You also are VERY FOND of COFFEE. Boy, do you love that stuff.
Your blood is JADE, which signifies your MIDDLE-HIGH placement in the TROLLIAN BLOOD CASTE SYSTEM. You find it rather ABSURD that one should be subjected to judgement based on a SILLY BLOOD CASTE. You wish that trolls should be treated EQUALLY, but you do not promote CULLING of any sorts. Your LUSUS is a majestic creature who has three horns, two of which slightly mimic your own, but one spirals out of its thinkpan in a captivating way, forming a TRIANGULAR CONE. Some may call it an ANTELOPICORN. It has four legs on which it stands, and to your dismay, has made a habit of RUNNING LOWBLOOD TROLLS over in its spare time. You are the proud owner of SEVENTEEN pairs of FAKE WAYFARERS all in BLACK, and never go anywhere without your TRUSTY BERET. You also find yourself intrigued by HUMAN BEHAVIOR and SOCIAL VALUES, especially those concerning WOMEN. You are generally kind of a CHILL troll, but sometimes you get FLUSTERED by certain comments made towards you. Your hive is not in the ALTERNIAN DESERT because that would be completely and utterly MORONIC and you cannot imagine anyone that would do that. Instead, you have situated yourself in a SECRET HIDEAWAY. You cannot say what this SECRET HIDEAWAY is, because then it would not be a secret anymore. You have modeled your hive after the CONVENTIONAL HUMAN HOUSE, and as such, it is filled with USELESS KNICK KNACKS and smells like CINNAMON and FLOWERS. You are not sure what kind of FLOWERS, but they are most definitely, without a doubt, FLOWERS. You find this smell PECULIAR, but it is not UNDESIRABLE, so you go with it. You have a tendency to suddenly lapse into a LONG, ANGSTY SOLILOQUY, which usually results in you spacing out and forgetting the situation you are currently in. This happens a lot. On your instant messaging system TROLLIAN, your TROLLTAG is gazarousAcetate. Y-0ur speech is usually n-0rmal except when -0s c-0me int-0 the picture. Y-0u like t-0 think that these -0s l-0-0k like the beret that y-0u have -0n y-0ur head. When y-0u are in a hurry, y-0u s-0metimes state things in smaller phrases with a #hashtag.. When you enter your medium you will fulfill your role as the SYLPH of MIND in the LAND OF BICYCLES AND HAZE (LOBAH). You wield the PHONEKIND specibus and have combined your GRUBPHONE 360 with your FRENCH COFFEE PRESS and WINGED CONVERSE SNEAKERS to create your awesome weapon. The consorts of your land are CHIPPER LEMON YELLOW SKUNKS who like DEBATING.