it's years from now. it's been a long time since i've seen any of my friends. we have kept in touch, but they know almost nothing of my life. one year i decide to host one of their birthday parties.
i live in a suspicious apartment on the top floor of an almost abandoned building. it is dark and unorganized, but fairly clean. in the middle of the living room there is a piñata hanging from the ceiling. there are store bought cupcakes on the table.
i hand the birthday person a stick and gesture to the piñata without saying anything.
when they crack open the piñata, it is completely empty save for a single tortilla chip and a plastic push knife. they look at me in confusion, and suddenly i have pulled out a blue water gun.
"mothmun, where's the real piñata?" they say, knowing i have something planned.
i aim the gun at them. a spray of warm orange juice hits them in the face. "you'll have to fight me for it," i say, before shooting them again.
they look at the knife in their hands before waving it at me.
"why would you bring a knife to a gun fight?" i say, back flipping over a couch in a completely unrealistic show of athletic ability.
they leave soon after without the real piñata, and i am left alone to sadly eat my cupcakes and warm orange juice, now friendless.