Do you ever think about Jonah being head over heels for Jon in the worst way possible. Do you ever think about Jon being aware of it and finding it scarier than anything else. Or are you normal <- boy who is so predictable
god yeah.its like. hrng okokok.
jons spent like his whole life wanting to be loved and to be valued but believing hes not worthy of that. and then heres this guy. and he says youre beautiful to me. i love you.
but he doesnt have jons best interests at heart. hes using him. and it would be so so easy to say, i guess he never cared about me, he was just pretending, he was only ever using me. but jon knows, and had always known, that thats not the case. jonah loves him. values him. and jonah sees him. understands him.
jonah doesnt love jon as a person, not really. he loves him as an extension of himself. a vessel of his power. a trophy. but its still love, isnt it?
and its like. this is what i wanted. but it doesnt feel good. i wanted to be loved. this isnt what i thought it would feel like. and despite all that it does feel kind of good. to have someone who thinks everything he hates about himself is beautiful. and that terrifies him.because he doesnt want it to feel good. what does it mean that it feels good. do you get it