For each of the couples, what is your greatest desire that you want your partner to fulfill?
What is the most intimate moment you and your partner have shared together?
What kink/fetishes do each of you have and who is the most forward within your relationship?
Optimus:
Megatron is… a strange bot, honestly. You’d think, just looking at him, that he’s this classic domineering type in all areas—including the bedroom. But you’d be surprised.
Yes, he craves control and intensity—but not in the way you might expect. He’s actually a bit of a masochist. When he really trusts me, when he’s fully relaxed, that’s when he wants things like binding, impact play, even high-voltage stimulation. And, under certain moods… he’s into fluids. Don’t ask.
He likes it when I “punish” him while holding eye contact, telling him how much I want him—how I ache for him. How I’d choke him with my embrace if I could. (chuckles) I won’t quote the more explicit things he’s said—we do have some boundaries.
Now, as for his wildest fantasy? (laughs, rubbing helm) He once typed: “I want you to frag me with mechanical hands aboard the Autobot ship and watch me slag on the monitor.” Meg. Seriously? First of all, Omega Supreme is sentient. You want to knock him into stasis just so we can live out some mech voyeurism kink? Not happening.
His favorite intimate memory? That’d be during the time he was carrying Skystrophe. He’d go into heat cycles from time to time—something magnetic-field-induced. I helped him through each one, sometimes with a few… specialized techniques. Once he had me kneel between his thighs in the shower and… well, I’ll spare the details, but he loved it.
Now Megs claims he’s the bold one in this relationship. And sure, since we got together, he’s definitely been the one initiating all the interfacing and weird roleplay ideas. But before that? I was the one who kept pushing him, breaking past all that armor he used to hide behind. He was scared of his own feelings, and I was the one who reached out again and again—until he finally let me in. (smiles)
Megatron:
Optimus likes to tell everyone he’s all about “regular intimacy” and has no kinks. Believe that, and you’re a fool. He’s a hopeless romantic, yes—he believes in “true love”—but he’s not easy to satisfy in bed. He’s also got a young, energetic body and quite the appetite. Don’t smirk, Prime. I saw that stupid grin. I might just share a little about your not-so-innocent side—one your Autobot and human admirers know nothing about.
He’s into watersports. And BDSM. He enjoys a bit of power play—usually in his roleplay fantasies. Like everything else, he’s got a savior complex. So, yes, he gets turned on when I show vulnerability. It’s sweet. And annoying.
His greatest fantasy? Roleplay, again. He once told me he wished he’d met me earlier—so he could “rescue me from the shameless acts of those Autobot aristocrats.” Then, with my full consent, of course, have his way with me. I’ve told him more than once: I wasn’t waiting for a savior. But I’ll admit—he plays the role of my equal, my partner, damn well. He just… sometimes wishes he could’ve kicked the afts of those who hurt me.
According to him, our most intimate moment didn’t even involve interfacing. It was early in our courtship, aboard Nemesis. He says he was lying in the armchair in my quarters when I came in, sat beside him, and pulled him into my arms. He calls it a moment of pure bliss—when he knew I’d finally let him in.
Good job, my boy. You’ve earned yourself a treat tonight. Let’s just hope I’m still in the mood when we get home. (Kisses Prime’s forehead.)
(Smirks) And your last question—who’s more forward? In the bedroom? Me, now. Shamelessly. But once upon a time? It was him. First to touch. First to confess. First to say, “I see you.”
Primus help me—I still haven’t quite recovered from that.
Bumblebee:
Well, if you really have to ask about that part of our life… I guess I’ll have to spill a bit about this triple-changing goofball. (Slaps Blitzwing’s lap, earning an exaggerated “Ouch!”) You know, since it’s us you’re asking about. Us! You can probably guess—we’re always up for trying something new. Blitzwing’s kinks are just as wild and varied as mine.
But the one thing you can’t overlook is his ridiculous love for nature. I mean it—outdoors. Our first silly attempts were out in the woods, or in open fields right after a good race. Which, by the way, is great… because Blitz can be such a loud whimperer. And when he’s feeling extra naughty? He’ll drag me into some adventurous little hideaway where other bots could walk by—or peek in—at any moment… and yeah, alright, I was totally onboard.
There was this one time we accidentally ran into Megatron and Optimus in Ultra Magnus’s conference room. Don’t get me wrong—we weren’t playing voyeurs or anything. Apparently they had just finished, but it was super awkward, all of us scrambling for excuses like, “Uh… looking for pens!”
Then there’s Blitz’s “greatest fantasy” he wanted me to fulfill. You ready? He said: “Make use of our alt modes.” Like—seriously, Blitz? In what way? Your plane humping my car? I don’t even know if that’s fair! But oh no, turns out he meant me inside his cockpit, and in return, he’d go through my tailgate… Blitzwing! Do not ruin my cushions!
Still… for all the wild stuff, Blitz says our most intimate moment wasn’t one of the crazy ones. It was the time he lost our first baby.
It was devastating—for both of us, but especially for him. We had that unexpected sparkling back when we were still underground lovers. Blitz had gotten his hopes up so high. Then he lost the baby during a clash between our camps. And the moment I heard… I ran to him. Right in front of the whole crew. I didn’t care that Optimus didn’t even know we were a thing. Later, I snuck into the Nemesis and stayed by his berth just so I could hold him, take care of him.
Bittersweet, huh? But you still remember it, Blitz. And I’d do it all again. Over and over. Because for him, it’s worth it.
As for who’s more forward in the relationship? Blitzwing says it’s me. I was the first to poke at him, annoy him. The first to propose interfacing. The first to push for every big step we took.
Well… I can’t really deny that.
After all, I am his little buzzing Bee. His rays of sunshine.
I guess that’s just who I am.
Blitzwing:
(Random is in place, clattering with excitement) Ohhh, oooo! Time to reveal the secrets of the honey bee! (Waves the datapad in his hand)
Well, first of all—my Bee has many, many kinks. He loves doing it in all sorts of weird places. Like, one time he made me grind against his chassis while I was carrying him mid-air… And also—Bee really likes my accent. My human-German accent. At first, I didn’t even know I had one! I just picked it up from the place I first landed… But a soft whisper of “Ja, mein Schatz, komm” really makes him shiver all over.
Another secret? Bee is actually way more “open” and way more “bad” than he looks. Sometimes he challenges me, tortures me, pushes me to my limits… Mmm, but he’s also learned to be gentle with me, after a few accidents happened along the way.
Bee’s biggest fantasy is… to have me wear a beer-girl dress? And serve him beer? That one’s not so hard to fulfill! (Laughs, then stops, optics going wide) Oh no, not the waste fluid holding again… I’ll make a mess! You know that!
And for our most intimate moment, Bee remembers… one of our first dates. I went all the way to his base to meet him. We were lying in the grass, trying to keep our voices down in case the sneaky guards might spot us… Before that night, we always had either strong winds blowing or rain falling to cover for us. But that time, it was a clear, quiet night. Bee couldn’t get very far from his base, so we just hid in the grass, facing each other, stroking each other’s interface panels, and whispering sweet nothings in barely audible sounds…
It was a risky act, considering his crew was only yards away. But the feeling of my hand on him made him want to scream…
He said he’ll always remember that night. (Giggles) Good for you, Bee. I have magic fingers—you know me well.
When it comes to who’s the most forward… Bumblebee says it’s him. And I have to agree. He’s always been the one taking the first steps in our relationship. I, on the other hand, am always too cautious to make a move.
But I’m glad I met Bee—a little bug who’s always patient, always waiting… for a slow burner like me.
Lugnut:
(Roars) You are not allowed to pry into General Strika’s privacy!
(He stands up to leave, but Strika stops him. She gently persuades him that she’s willing to share this part of her life with the audience.)
(Lugnut sits back down, scratching his helm, visibly awkward.)
Alright. The General said she is willing to share. Although I… am a bit embarrassed to read this. But if this is what she wants…
General Strika said her kinks are quite simple. She enjoys taking the dominant role—much like her position in the military. But she’s also tender with me. We work perfectly together because… I don’t have many needs. As long as I can stay by my beloved General’s side, I am content. I serve as her loyal saddle-vehicle whenever she’s ready for a ride. Sometimes, when she’s feeling playful, she’ll take care of my port too. General Strika has the most generous connector—Lord Megatron himself once acknowledged her spectacular size.
(“Shut up, Lugnut.” Megatron mutters from the background.)
(Clears his throat, collecting himself)
General Strika said her biggest fantasy is… to tie me up and… err, hang me in her commander’s room and court me. I… thought she disliked bringing personal matters into the workplace. But maybe that’s exactly why it’s her fantasy. She wants me to talk her out of it the whole time—saying things like, “Please, my great General, we should be joining the battle,” or “General Strika, Lord Megatron might call any minute, we must compose ourselves”—and she’ll ignore all my pleas and just carry on… and on…
Err, I will say that both General Strika and Lord Megatron are sacred names to me. I would never violate Lord Megatron’s orders. But she said it’s only pretend, so… I’m allowed to.
(Turns to her) What do you say, my most brilliant General? Shall we realize that fantasy tonight?
Our most intimate moment… General Strika said it was during the war, when we fought side by side on the frontlines. We were both part of Lord Megatron’s Destroyer Unit. We attacked by day and marched by night. In those rare moments we could rest, she let me rest my helm on her chestplate, and we fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Sometimes, when she stayed awake a little longer, she said she watched me sleep—my optics flickering dim red, my vents puffing steady, warm air. She counted the stars reflected in my biggest optic until she finally drifted off.
Strika said those were hard times… but worth it, because we faced them together. As comrades—and as lovebirds.
General Strika said I was the most forward in our relationship. I don’t know… She said I was the first to show obvious signs of affection. I admit, she was unlike anyone else I’d ever met. She made me feel something new—like, for the first time, I had a dream beyond just serving Lord Megatron.
And even though the cause still matters to me—still matters deeply—General Strika is the greatest thing that ever happened to old Lugnut. I am happy… and forever grateful… that she returned my affection.
Strika:
Very impressive, thank you, Lugnut. (Pats Lugnut’s shoulder, suppressing a grin.)
Well, I guess I’ll give the last answer—Lugnut’s little secrets.
Although they’re no secret to some of our special guests here. (Winks at Megatron and Blitzwing. They start sniggering. The two Autobots squirm in uneasiness.)
(Strika puts on a more serious look.)
The thing you must know is, Lugnut is a “simple” lover. He says he doesn’t have any kinks, and he’ll go along with any idea I come up with. And that’s true. In our previous lovemaking, Lugnut mainly serves my needs. He enjoys being pampered, enjoys me being hard on him, and he likes a little power dynamic to spice things up. That’s it. Lugnut is quite slow and casual when it comes to the physical expressions of love.
Now, our most intimate moment…
Lugnut said it was when we first had our conjunx endura ceremony. Oh—right, I forgot to put that one down first. You got me, Lugnut.
After that little ceremony, Lord Megatron gave us two weeks of honeymoon vacation. We didn’t go far, since it was during the war. Lug and I just stayed near a swamp, where the sounds of gunshots and cannons were pretty far away. Lugnut said he remembered one morning, when we woke up to chilly air and dancing reeds. He made a stupid suggestion that we bathe in the swamp—but to his surprise, I agreed.
We spent the whole day rolling around, rubbing each other’s backs, having mud-fights, and embracing each other for so long and so tightly that anyone passing by might’ve thought we were two petrified clay figures.
By the end of the day, the sun finally showed itself, and we lay on the reeds, holding hands, watching the sunset.
Wow… I didn’t know Lugnut remembered every detail. I remember those days being very sweet, too. But knowing how much it means to Lug… well, we have to do it again. Maybe this weekend?
Now, Lugnut said he was the more forward one in our relationship.
Well—true. I don’t have any objection to that. He was the initiator of many things… but I have to confess—I’m the one who proposed the conjunx endura in the first place. That’s a pretty forward act too, don’t you think? So I guess I can be just as forward as he is.
(Pause. Strika smirks a little.)
Now… Lugnut’s wildest fantasy. Let’s see how far this slow-reacting bot can get.
Oh—wait a minute—no. This isn’t quite suitable to read here. Not in front of…
Can I ask the Autobots to leave? No? Fine. Okay.
(Clears throat)
It seems that Lugnut is yearning for… something that happened before, when we were younger and more reckless—and that doesn’t mean anything, okay?
He wants the Decepticon orgy party again.
In particular, he wants to “devote himself” to both me and Lord Megatron.
Of course, we know that ain’t gonna happen—since we’re exclusive now, and so is Lord Megatron, in a committed relationship…
I mean, we wouldn’t mind, but Lord Megatron said he’s outgrown the stage of casually interfacing with bots he doesn’t feel romantically about.
(She puts on a mock-stern look, scanning the room. Optimus looks uneasy. Megatron chuckles and squeezes his shoulder.)
Megatron: Don’t worry, General Strika. My partner knows about our history. And he’s fine with it.
Blitzwing: BUT YOU NEVER LET ME PLAY!
Megatron: That’s because all you did was whine loudly, then pass out. I had to give you mouth-to-mouth resuscitation!
Blitzwing: I… I only passed out because… because you all sat on me!
Lugnut: That was your idea!
Bumblebee: Wait, so you did join once?
Megatron: Just once. Then he got his aft banned. No underage bots at adult parties.
Blitzwing: It isn’t fair! You let Optimus in!
Bumblebee: (horrified) Optimus was there?! So I’m like… the only one left out?! I feel so isolated!
Strika: Anyway—the Decepticon orgy has long been over, okay? Can we go back to more serious topics, please?