#slainson

[awfultm-a-blog]

@slainson ❤️ ‘d the valentines s.c.

                  “SO, i don’t know if i’m doin’ this whole VALENTINES DAY thing right.” he’s NERVOUS but he’s trying his hardest to hide it. he CARES a lot about connor - he wants to get this right. put all the times he had screwed up BEHIND THEM. there’s a large box in the middle of his apartment - wrapped and everything. sure, he just had someone wrap it for him - but STILL. it was a set of books that connor had been talking about for a while. even though quin seemed to zone off sometimes when he spoke about his love for books, he did listen. at this point, he can’t help but SMILE. “go ahead. open it.” 

[awfultm-a-blog]

@slainson cont 

the world felt like it was slipping away from him. he could hardly open his eyes. he couldn’t think straight, he just kept thinking about how he GOT HERE. god, he’d made a mistake hadn’t he?? and now connor...connor was here. his breaths are shallow, slow. each one is getting HARDER to take. 

“what...CONNOR what’s happ-- happening??”

at the question of trust he gives a slow nod of his head. he was guessing he would call an AMBULANCE or something. he hated hospitals - but connor knew what he was doing. but as the other instruction left the others mouth he was CONFUSED. “repeat??” how was that supposed to help?? 

everything sounded FUZZY, like it wasn’t really there. he’s convinced he’s not hearing connor right - even though he had gotten closer. 

“v-voco. sup- super, te....?” his words are soft, strained. he’s trying to HANG ON.

[milkovichsmickey]

@slainson​ | cont. from here.

“No.” He immediately shot that thought down. “Just don’t like being in closed places.” Flashes of he and his siblings being enclosed in a closet while their parents fought rose to the surface and he quickly clamped it down instead focusing on the matter at hand.

He tried the doorknob again as if it was magically going to open this time around, kicking it and then pushing against it. “Fuck!” He pushed against the door again before slammed his palm against the door. “Whoever’s on the other side of the door has three seconds to let us out if you wanna live to see tomorrow.” Because there was no way that they were going to be stuck in here for longer than a day nor was he going to entertain the thought that the door had been closed on its own. It was Halloween, sure, but that kind of stuff only happened in movies and shit and not in real life. 

Turning to look at his companion, he raised his eyebrows. “Why the fuck ain’t you freaking out? You wanna spend the rest of your night locked in this shithole?”

[indignaticnarchive]

@slainson​ sent ❛ i don’t know what to do . i just don’t . ❜ // a meme i have lost lmao

    he sits on his couch, knees drawn up to his chest. it wasn’t a position quinton took often, at least not when people were around. HE DIDN’T EITHER. on a good day, quin would understand how FRUSTRATING it is. to be around someone that you cared for and have them just shut down on you. arms move to wrap around his legs, giving a squeeze. GROUNDING EXERCISES, or whatever shit his new therapist of two weeks had said to him. it was hard, getting better. it fucking HURT, trying to remove all of the coping skills that have developed through the years. he lets out a shaky breath, god he could use a drink. but he’s trying - for connor - to drink less. 

    “I DON’T EITHER. y’know?? it don’t make sense to me either, connor. i’m - i’m trying!!” it might not seem like it sometimes, but he was. “i don’t - i don’t fuckin’ know HOW you can help, okay??”

[indignaticnarchive]

@slainson​ sent “slurred words” to hear QUIN describe CONNOR whilst ridiculously drunk // ACCEPTING !!

    “CONNOR, huh??” words pause for a moment, he’s THINKING. his brain was too loud sometimes, hard to ORGANIZE EVERYTHING. but a smile soon grows on his face, letting out a puff of laughter. “he’s -  i dunno man. he’s SPECIAL. he makes me feel shit, y’know?? i don’t really uh - know how to EXPLAIN IT. you fuckin’ know, ‘m shit with emotions.” he takes another sip of his whisky, giving a small shrug of his shoulders. 

    “i dunno how much y’ GIVE A SHIT. but man, I LOVE HIM, fuckin’ love him man. he’s got - he’s got a good heart. makes me smile ‘n shit. it’s gross, i know. but - he means a LOT TO ME. he’s been - been with me through a lot of shit y’know?? fuckin love him.”

[indignaticnarchive]

@slainson continued from HERE 

     he was a SHIT LIAR, specifically when it came to connor. the other knew too much about him, was able to see through the facade he put up. he takes in a deep breath, seriously contemplating closing the door on him. further pushing him away. it was the right thing to do, or so he thought. a long SIGH passes chapped lips. sunken eyes deliver a roll as he turns, leaving the door open for connor to enter the apartment. which was a MESS, more than usual. clothes discarded around the small studio apartment, empty beer and whisky bottles littered around - but no plates, no food waste. 

      quin walks over this his couch, siting down, arms crossing over his chest as he looks at connor. there was so much he wanted to say, but he COULDN’T. like thank you for caring, and i really do miss seeing you. but instead, he tries to LIE again. 

      “i’m okay connor. i promise, okay?? just - just had a couple shit days -” more like two weeks of shit days. “- doesn’t everyone??”

[sk8errboi]

@slainson​ ---------

everyone   knows   freddie   isn’t   the   type   to   turn   down   a   dare.   he   hasn’t   realized   yet   that   this   very   fact   has   made   him   the   target   of   a   multitude   of   progressively   stupid   dares,   including   the   time   that   he   had   to   light   his   sister’s   underwear   on   fire   or   the   time   he   had   to   eat   a   cockroach.   tonight   is   no   exception.

it’s   nearing   midnight   on   halloween   by   the   time   freddie   finally   sets   out   for   the   greendale   woods.   he’s   still   in   his   bright   yellow   costume   (   stupid,   really.   he’s   gone   as   the   mustard   to   katie’s   ketchup   ),   which   makes   him   look   even   more   like   an   idiot   as   he   enters   the   forest.   he   can’t   help   but   curse   under   his   breath,   because   everyone   else   is   back,   getting   increasingly   drunk,   at   his   house,   while   he’s   stuck   entering   these   creepy   woods.   thankfully,   he   isn’t   sober—   he’s   had   enough   alcohol   to   create   a   permanent   buzz   for   the   rest   of   the   night.

perhaps   it’s   just   because   it’s   halloween,   but   the   forest   is   more   ominous   than   freddie   remembers.   the   trees   cast   long   shadows   on   the   ground,   lit   up   only   by   the   light   of   the   full,   bright   moon.   cicadas   and   other   insects   sing   a   horribly   cacophonous   tune   that   sets   freddie’s   nerves   on   edge.   he   contemplates   turning   around   and   just   telling   the   others   he   made   it   into   the   forest   and   back,   but   something   in   his   pride   won’t   allow   it.   so   he   sighs,   letting   the   forest   envelope   him   in   darkness   as   he   walks   forward.

[indignaticnarchive]

@slainson​ sent “that was a brave thing you did today.” for QUINTON // ACCEPTING !! 

eyes narrow in connors direction, and he can’t help but laugh. “BRAVE??” connor was right. it was incredibly brave. it was his first AA meeting. it felt wrong and so UNCOMFORTABLE. but he knew it was for the better. in his mind, he felt WEAK. nowhere close to brave. he wanted so badly to be able to figure everything out on his own. accepting HELP was never quintons strong suit. 

“i dunno ‘bout that. i just sat in a church basement and talked for five minutes. but uh - THANKS, i guess.” it wasn’t that he didn’t APPRECIATE connors words, he did. he just didn’t agree with him. he never viewed himself as BRAVE. his head shakes then, and he sends the other a smile. hand reaches out, grabbing his. “i’m - i’m sorry. really, connor. THANK YOU. it means a lot.”