Jun 12, 2025
Large elegant backyard stone patio photo with a fire pit and a pergola
Edcamp Joplin
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Large elegant backyard stone patio photo with a fire pit and a pergola
Edcamp Joplin
Base Coat: CND - Stickey
Base Colours: Models Own - Slate Green & Barry M - Gold Foil
Stamping Colour: W7 - Blue Lagoon
Image Plate: Konad M64
Top Coat: Sally Hansen Advanced Hard As Nails
Men’s Bewerehouse
(Lights up on a Men’s Wearhouse. A man, Will, is looking through a display of ties. He’s going to like the way he looks, and George Zimmer guarantees it. Enter Nick, a salesman.)
Nick: Can I help you find what you’re looking for today?
Will: Nah, I’m—actually, you know what, yeah. I’m looking for sort of a slate green tie. One that would match a lavender shirt well? Preferably with an understated pattern.
Nick: Sure, we’ve got some right over here.
Will: Great, thanks.
(Nick leads Will to a basket on the floor. Will peers inside.)
Will: This is…
Nick: I know they look a bit expensive, but I promise you they’re all under $20.
Will: Okay, I just am not even going to START on—
Nick: This one is a Roquefort-style pattern, it’s very gently ribbed—
Will: —how absolutely moronic this is. I know you probably—
Nick: —and actually the blue dots are processed bits of cotton.
Will: —think it’s very funny that you’re showing me a BASKET OF SNAKES, but—
Nick: Oh, this one, I think this would look good with your neck width—
Will: —this just clearly cannot be safe and I just want a tie—
Nick: —it’s very thick cut, and you see these thin dark orange stripes—
Will: —THAT IS A SCALE PATTERN!!!
Nick: Well, yes!
(Pause.)
Will: You’re waving snakes in my face.
Nick: Oh, apologies, I’ll just let you look through the basket yourself.
(Nick hands Will the basket.)
Nick: Let me know if you have any other questions or if you find one you like.
(Will proffers the basket back to Nick.)
Will: Are these poisonous?! What is wrong—
Nick: Ha! No, as I said, they’re all under $20.
Will: Take your goddamned snakes back!
(Nick takes the basket back and looks in it. Pause.)
Nick: Oh, you know what? I’m just so embarrassed that I gave you that basket.
Will: I wonder why?!
Nick: Those are glossy fabrics, not slate.
Will: THOSE ARE SNAKES, NOT TIES!!!
Nick: Let me just fetch this one…
(Nick fetches another basket of snakes.)
Will: Okay, good bye.
(Will begins to walk away.)
Nick: Oh, sir! I got it! Slate green.
Will: Good bye!
(Nick briskly walks towards Will, trips, and drops the snakes all over Will.)
Will: OH GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU OH MY GOD THEY’RE EVERYWHERE!!!
Nick: Oopsie! Let me get a broom.
(Nick sheepishly walks to the back room.)
Will: THEY’RE BITING MY ARMS! PLEASE CALL AN AMBULANCE OH GOD!!!
Nick: (From the back.) I’ll be right back! Don’t pick any of those up, I’ve got ‘em!
(Blackout.)
slate green is an ugly color anyway