Logline: Four highschoolers are unwittingly roped into acting as the unlicensed therapists and embodiments of their fellow classmate’s personality aspects, hoping to prove to themselves that they aren’t broken in the process. While trying to navigate the daily dramas and intense traumas of their own lives, Better Life is not so faceless in their sick ploy to milk every ounce of their self expression until they become dehumanized versions of themselves. All for the company’s endeavour to create the perfect human; Elliot North.
Summary: The Forrester household is home to four pets. Dastan’s ball python, Nova, who bit Park in the ankle is one of them. To make up for it, Dee decides to increase the pet count to five but ends up getting two more.
TW: Self-deprecation, body image issues, snakes, strippers
Word count: 2.4k
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Nova’s eyes narrowed as her tongue flicked out at me, rolling up and down in the air as I fixed her with a firm glare. Squirming, she looked away. I followed her gaze to the bird she'd killed and felt a slight twinge of guilt. Grave mistake keeping her cage open by the window. Park would be devastated. The pain he went through was enough so I decided not to tell him.
A groan sounded from Park’s room. Sighing, I pulled a pillow over my head, frustrated that, yesterday, she’d gotten out and bit him. Because he’s Park, of course, he kept telling me it didn’t matter, that he was okay and that he’d ‘tempted’ her by wearing gray socks with mouse patterns. I knew better, though. So fragile despite the strength of his mind, my brother bruised very easily.
Distraction. I need a distraction.
My hand itched for a cigarette but Park didn’t like the smell and Pops wouldn’t want me to. Mulling over going to the store to get a pack, I grabbed my phone from the bedside. The black screen showed my face staring back at me, twin to Park’s in every way except the dark, uneven patches spread like rot on fruit. Tomato pits. Banana bruises.
Pretty patterns. Park’s voice answered in my head. I hurled the phone, letting it bash against the headpost. It fell onto the bed with a thunk and I exhaled sharply, running both hands through my hair. I stood up, fingers drumming on my thigh as I paced back and forth around the room. Finding myself in front of the hollowed carcass of the bird, I grit down on my teeth. Brown, eyes two slits, beak open in an uneven angle and wings still slightly raised, it lay there, dead. If she weren’t sleeping Nova’s eyes would have spoken to me, teasing because she knew I couldn’t be mad at her for answering to her survival instincts. That anger only existed because of what she’d done to Park, after all.
I stared at the bird some more, moving a bit closer to Nova’s cage. One way or another we all end up dead. I felt a consolation, for at least its death had given me an idea.
“Dastan!” Pops’ concerned voice caught me at the door, hand frozen on the handle. I didn’t turn. “Where are you going?”
I squeezed the cool metal, tensing. “Out.”
Wearily, he repeated, “Where are you going?”
“Don’t worry, old man, I’ll be back in an hour,” I said. He inhaled a sharp breath and I bit my lip, imaging his red face and the hand running through his graying hair. Too young for this. I pressed another mild insult, “Take care of Park.”
Kitty, our golden retriever – courtesy of Park – whined in front of my brother’s door, scratching at the wood. As Pops turned to her, I pushed my way through, tossing a glance over my shoulder. Soulful, worried eyes and a heavy brow met mine. Vitiligo or no vitiligo, you’re my son and I love you. Slamming the door behind me, I sighed.
A shop window revealed that the concealer I’d applied held up well through the town square’s usual buzz and bustle. Park’s words echoed in my head. You’re perfect just the way you are. He didn’t understand, how could he with his clear honey eyes, freckled face and curly hair?
Various birds, fish, cats and dogs blurred in my vision, face coming into focus. Muddy brown and green gazed back. Without breaking stride, I pushed into the nearest pet shop, tearing my eyes away from the display window. I hadn’t managed to see a single creature anyway.
Ding. The bell went. I wanted to break it. The hot summer air licked at my cheeks and ears. Air conditioner who?
Scrunching up my nose at the cat piss and cheap air fresher meant to cover it up, I glanced over to a girl with an exposed midriff. “How can I help you, babycakes?” her eyes went down, tattoo of an arrow pointing to the bottom from her navel. Downcast eyes met mine again as she swayed towards me. I curled my lip. Classy.
“Stuck up dick,” she murmured.
Flashing her the black ring on my middle finger, I turned to another aisle. Basically, ‘Fuck off. I’m not interested.’ A little harsh, yes, but how else would people know I’m ace?
Her presence stayed there, cloying perfume nearly suffocating. A vaguely Australian accent greeted me, “Tattoo’s for a strip club I work at after shifts.” My head fell back, something close to regret washing over me. “Whaddya need?”
Another blast of hot air from outside had me worried that the powder would come off with the heat and I touched a hand to my face. Great. Exactly what I needed.
“Cool how you don’t have air conditioning here,” I said, eyes falling on her name-tag. “Annabelle.” She gave an apologetic smile and I stuffed a five dollar bill into her hand as I brushed past, silently apologizing for being an ass.
Well, well, what have we here?
Cat food. That’s what. And a nerd. Such a curious sight, the two of them together. Earlier, Viridian had called to tell me of his common cold, delirious as he begged for dry food. ‘Dirthersh’, that British short-hair Macy insisted they keep, seemed more trouble than he's worth.
I browsed the birds section and two lovebirds rubbing their against each other caught my attention. A gradient gray and a gradient brown. Just the colors I was looking for.
I’d learnt by now. Red and orange showed me different shades of brown and green gave me gray but my heart still thumped an unsteady beat. Another convenience took for granted among people. Despite anything I could tell myself it would always hurt, having eyes that don’t work properly, ill skin, uneven body and mind at every turn. What if I got them wrong? I just wanted to get one thing right. Just his favorite color, damn it.
But it’s not orange! It’s purple! Of course, he always said that because he didn’ want the colors I couldn’t see to be the ones he liked. Oh, shut up. Slate spun towards me and I clamped my lips shut. Of course I’d said it out loud. Stupid.
Raising a hand, I walked towards him, pinning him with my gaze. He leveled a calm stare.
“Can I help you?” Formal as ever.
“Yeah, Malachi,” I said, giving a crooked smirk. “You see colors, right?”
Slate adjusted his glasses, clearing his throat. “As far as I’m concerned.”
“Well, that makes one of us,” I pointed at the two birds and Slate’s thick, wire rimmed glasses followed my finger. “What are those?”
An Encyclopedia exploded in my face, “Lovebirds, the common name for Agapornis is a species popular amongst pet owners and typically bought in pairs—”
“Oh for fuck’s sake, their colors, Slate.”
Slate blinked in disinterest, shifting in the same monotone voice as if I’d asked Siri. “The one on the right is red and orange, the other is a gray and mint green gradient,” for once, his specificness paid off. “Make sure to buy a spacious cage. They’re quite lively and need room to be healthy.”
I nodded, catching Annabelle’s eyes across the shop. She smiled at me, mouthing ‘thanks’.
“Why are you buying them?”
The scorn in my voice hiding the fact I was grateful, I turned back to him. “I decided our house wasn’t enough of a zoo as it is.”
“For someone who likes salt, this is a very sweet gesture to your brother.”
“Park,” I said, arching a brow. “He has a name.”
Slate cleared his throat, looking away. “I am aware.”
“And that’s not the phrase,” I added, peering at the slight color on his cheekbones. “I’m salty, but I’m not a complete jerk.”
The corners of his mouth turned up. “The debate team would beg to differ.”
“Bunch of pussies,” I dismissed, waving my hand. “Why are you here? Last time I checked, you didn’t have any pets.” “Viridian wasn’t feeling well so he asked if I could buy cat food for Hershey.” “What was our next discussion supposed to be about anyway?” I asked.
“You don’t take notes?”
I scoffed, almost offended. “Of course not.”
“How do you manage to keep up with tasks then?”
“I don’t,” I said smoothly. “I forget, like a cool person.”
He crossed his arms, indulging me. “The Israel Palestine feud”
“Thanks for the help, nerd.”
At the cash register, Slate strode over with the cat food. He placed a five dollar bill on the counter and stared ahead. He cleared his throat, adjusted, readjusted his glasses and then looked at me.
“Dastan.”
I rolled my eyes. “I told you, I go by Dee.”
“Tell Park our next session is on Wednesday,” his voice cracked at my brother’s name. Coffee brown eyes grew just a shade lighter as he squared his shoulders, holding my gaze.
“Oh, he can’t,” I said, sizing him up. “He’s been bitten by a snake.”
Slate tensed, eyes widening despite his best efforts. “What!? Is..is he alright?”
I’d spent my whole life thinking myself a mutation because I’d never seen in my face what I saw in his but I pretended not to notice, jaw clenching as I subdued him. “Relax, it was just Nova.”
His flushed face deepened in color. Trembling and steadying, hitting uneven notes, his usually deep voice stretched thin. “Is he in any pain at all? Are you quite sure the snake isn’t venomous?”
My heart pumped, mind running, scrambling with the impossibility that I’d never noticed before. “No.”
“May I come with you to check on him? If it’s a suitable time, of course. I mean, I must...reschedule with him.” Words were pushed out of him in a flurry, cracking his composure enough for me to sense his worry. “We have an Algebra exam next Monday.”
“I’ll have him call you.”
A pause. Slate, leader of the debate team, son of Principal Marvin and valedictorian student, Slate Malachi hesitated, barely audible. “I’d like to see him in person.”
I looked him up and down, head to toe, drinking in his nervousness. Eyes snapping to his stiff shoulders, pursed lips, his bumped eyebrows. I could almost smell it, taste the tang of his concern. It left a bad taste in my mouth.
“No, Slate,” he blinked, expression shifting in an instant. “It’s not a good time. We need to just be a family right now.”
“I—”
“We don’t need you there,” I pressed.
“Right, well,” he swallowed, Adam’s apple bobbing up and down. He turned to leave, froze, hastily throwing his last words over his shoulder before stalking out. “Tell him to call me when he can.”
Kitty barked from inside and Pops opened the door, eyebrows raised at the fact I’d help up on my promise. “You’re back.”
“No, I’m still at the city square,” I said. “Should I get you something on the way?”
Park shuffled out of his room. I kept my hands behind my back, legs pressed together. “Hey.”
“Deedee!” I grimaced at the nickname, pulling the cage in front of me where he could see it. Instantly, his eyes brightened. Park stopped limping towards me, bandaged foot stilling on the floorboards. “Are...are those what I think they are?”
I restrained a smile. “Why don’t you come see for yourself?”
I gave it a gentle push and the cage rolled rolled right towards him. Falling to his knees in front of it, he ran his hand over the thin bars, gaping at the chirping balls of feather inside.
Tears brimming in the corners of his eyes, he looked up at me with a limpid, clear gaze. Leaning my back to shut the door, I tilted my head at him, arms crossed. “You like them?”
He nodded frantically, sniffing. “But my favorite color isn’t orange.”
I smiled. “Is that so?”
“Yes! I, I hate red and I hate green!” he sobbed, hugging the cage. “I like purple and...and blue!”
Pops ran his hand through the tangles of Park’s hair, smiling. When the two looked at me again, tears spilled from Park’s eyes.
A few minutes passed with Park repeatedly thanking me and the lot of us gathering in the living room with Sardine, Fredrick and Kitty to decide the two newcomers’ names. Pops held onto Sardine and Fredrick slept on the couch while Park lay flat on the floor, arms cushioning his chin. “She looks like a mango.”
I snickered, shaking my head. “You should make that her name.”
He looked from me to the cage and squealed. I took off the beanie on my head, scratching at my scalp in disbelief and praying the fresh air would save my head from this silliness. “You can’t be serious.”
“I’ve never been more serious in my life!”
Rubbing my temples, I watched as he scrutinized the other bird, suddenly blurting out, “Pierre!”
Pops smiled. “Sounds good, Park.”
“Get it?” glowing, he sat up, rocking back and forth on his heels. “Cause he’s green! Like a pear!”
“Ugh, I never thought I’d regret this,” I groaned.
“Shut up, you love them!”
Just as I opened my mouth to deny it, Park’s phone rang. It belted out a bubbly tune and my brother’s face tinted scarlet. I kept my arms crossed over my chest, clenching my fists so I wouldn’t do anything rash when I saw the caller’s name. ‘Slate’ shone on the buzzing phone’s screen beside a blue heart. Park showed his love in a lot of ways, this was a common one. But I knew better, this time, that heart spoke volumes. My jaw clenched and my attention rested on a yellowed patch on the carpet, thumb pressing down on my knuckles.
“Dee?”
I looked up, carefully focusing on the wallpaper over his shoulder. “Hm?”
He gave a disarming smile. “Thank you.”
I returned a half grin, sighing, “Welcome, fluffball.”
My grin lasted till Park shut his room’s door behind him. Frowning, I looked over at Pops who scritched at Sardine’s forehead. “I’m worried for Sardine. She, I mean, they haven’t been eating well lately. Do you think they might be sick?”
Normally Pops’ attempts at getting used to modern pronouns tickled but this time, I just shrugged, mind worked up as I stared at the sky blue of Park’s door. His voice came in happy torrents, divided by giggles just a bit louder than normal. Blood throbbed in my ears because I knew, I knew with the same surety I felt my thumb grinding over my skin the guy I had to blame. What the fuck are you trying to do with my brother?
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AN: So this is my first prologue for Inner Monologue. Expect a lot of these in the future. They're canon and they happened in universe but you don't have to read this to enjoy IM. These are just Easter Eggs and snippets of my writing style. Thank you so much for reading. Love you <3
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