"Sleepy"
Sambucky
Fluff
Warnings : A but of cursing and a shit tone of gay <3
[ author's note: ] I've been really into Sambucky again recently, and at this point I'm so done with trying to think of other ships. This ship will forever have my heart despite other ships that come to sail.
James Buchanan Barnes loathed the empty space of the mattress next to him. He loathed how prim and neat the cream sheets were. He despised the rightly order of the pillows. But most importantly, he hated the missing presence of Sam.
Despite what others thought, Bucky longed to be cuddled and caressed. He loved the sudden gestures Sam would provide out of the ordinary blue. He loved the surprise of Sam's arms around his stomach. His head, dangling with tire or snuggly warmth, resting on Bucky's vibranium shoulder.
It's been a week now since Sam had left for Egypt. A week too long for a home of two with only one in its vacancy.
Bucky knew that being apart from your parter every once in a while was okay, healthy, and suggested. The first few days were of total peace. It was nice lounging about in the house without the worry of the world apart from the occasional missions and precautionary runs he ran to secure the city. But as time went on and Bucky's thoughts clouded him and his longing for Sam grew, he grew frantic and needy. He missed Sam Wilson more than anything, and if Sam can't be home right now in this very bed, he wished that he was at least safe. With a roof over his head. With food in his plate. With a smile on his lips that gave everyone, him especially, hope of a better future.
Bucky inhaled the sharp cool and crisp air. Exhaling not long after. He pulled down a pillow from the mound of them on Sam's side. He chuckled. Sam always had a shit ton of pillows with him. He called it, "the bird-ly habit of a nest." At this thought, Bucky chuckled and cuddled the pillow into his chest. His head bowed down as he inhaled its scent- Sam's scent of the oceanic blues of the cologne he had given him. He missed it. His smell. His snores however small and adorable they are. He missed the way Sam's thumb would move back and forth on his neck as he held him dear in his arms. Comforting him through his occasional, but rarer occurrences of nightmares.
He closed his eyes expecting to finally fall asleep until a ringing blew into the closed room. Bucky hummed with a tinge of curiosity and immediately hoped that whoever was calling was his boyfriend. He sat up with the pillows on his lap and reached to his left, grabbing his phone. And as the words "Idiot Bird" appeared on the blurred familiar dialing screen, Bucky's wistfulness vanished and a smile, as bright as the moon's crescents, appeared. He pressed the green button in an instant and played Sam up on speaker.
He waited until a loud crackling sound bursted from the speaker. Then, a laugh.
"Bucky!" Sam proclaimed, although in a more whispered tone than a shout.
God he missed that voice. That call of his name in a tone so beloved to him, so familiar.
"Hey, baby. I miss you."
"I miss you too, so much. It's been a hell of a whirlwind back in Cairo. Barely had any time to sleep."
"Im sorry," Bucky apologized as he laid the phone down on the empty space next to him and rested his head down the pillows. "You should probably sleep then."
"Yeah.. But you know how it is with me and planes. I can't sleep for shit."
"Wait, planes?"
"Yep. Got the whole situation sorted sooner than I thought and after a few debriefs on the actual witnesses, I can finally go fucking home."
Bucky closed his eyes and breathed in a shaky breath. Exhaling a long moment after with a stuttering chuckle. "Good good.. I miss you so much you, Sam." You have no idea.
"I miss you too, Bucky. A lot. I think a part of the reason why I could barely sleep with the time they let me go to my hotel was because all I could think about was you."
"Oh?"
"Mhm, I was scared. I was scared that I won't be there."
Bucky didn't need Sam to say it, nor Sam need to say what I meant for Bucky to know. It was a silent knowledge between them and Bucky was thankful for Sam's silence and patience about his struggles. Bucky's nightmares weren't as prominent as it once was, but they lingered like a guilt. Even though he made his amends long ago, he was still terrified of what his monster had done. Who it had killed and who's lived it had destroyed for the purpose of others. The Winter Soldier was the past and as much as he intended to forget all of what happened, he knew Sam was right when he said that sometimes forgetting the past can only lead to more suffering. Bucky smiled to himself as he thought of what else Sam had told him. Healing meant facing your fears, not abandoning them.
"Don't worry, I haven't had one since the week before you left," Bucky answered truthfully with pride knowing how long its been since he had such horrible recollections.
"Good good. Don't worry, I'll be home soon. I'll make you steak, we'll stay up till 2 watching Disney movies, and stay up for another 30 minutes stuck like tape."
Bucky, imagining every moment Sam had described, smiled. "I'd love that. Will there be kisses?"
"So many."
"Perfect."
A yawn wrapped around the air a Bucky felt sleep pull him closer and closer. Knowing Sam's voice was close and knowing the whole of him was closer, he was finally in a state of peace against the restlessness. His body relaxing. His eyelids refraining from wanting to open.
"Sleep, baby. I'll be here."
"Promise?" Bucky whispered.
"I promise."
Pulling the blankets closer and Sam's soft pillow even closer to his chest, Bucky slept off with a sentence last spoken in a whisper. A whisper loud enough for the receiving end to hear and giggle at his boyfriend's sleepy and adorable voice.
"I love you."
"I love you too, Bucky."
