#slimegod.ask

[i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry]

Hello! May I request disney princess au Darling just happily napping in a flower field being surrounded by squishy slimes who is oblivious/ignoring the sounds of regretful cultists (prolly the knights) being dive bombed by birds and other animals. The more they try to get closer to Darling, the more feral the animals become. Darling just goes *squish* with the slimes in their arms.

This one took a while bc I needed to get the energy to do it even a lick of justice. Because YESSSS???? This is the entire vibe???

-

It's a wonderful day.

The sun is shining, the birds are singing, the clouds are white and fluffy, the breeze is wonderfully gentle, and the slimes are adorably squishy. Truly, Teyvat is heaven.

The sun smiles upon its master, warming them evenly, shining bright for their enjoyment alone. The birds chirp their favorite melodies, notes entwined into their very being. The clouds decorate the sky, creating wonderful shapes for its beloved to watch drift by. The winds caress the figure in the grass, playfully wrapping around their limbs and mussing their hair. The various slimes bounce around, each eager to get its turn to be squished and hugged and loved by their benevolent creator that showed them nothing but kindness.

All around, animals played. Fox kits bounded into each other under the watchful gaze of their parents. Boars idly graze, assured in the presence of the Most Holy. Tiny finches hop about the ground, each hoping to gain the greatest perch. Two cranes watched from a pond while an Umbertail Falcon soared over the area.

The truest form of peace.

The sun blazed over farmlands, glaring, hateful, burning all under its rays. Clouds formed thick layers over towns and cities, pouring rivers upon houses and homes, mourning the pain the Divine One had to endure. The breeze turned to gales, carrying both screams and the screamers away from their love. Slimes gathered on roads, drawn toward the bustle of trade, coming back again and again no matter how many times guards and adventurers destroyed their forms.

Falcons swooped down toward another would-be apologist, pecking and clawing at skin and cloth. A boar charged from behind, sending a warrior to the ground. Finches surrounded and overwhelmed. Squirrels and weasels scampered around their feet, tripping up every step.

Crops wilted under even the most favorable of conditions. Boars migrated with no rhyme or reason to follow, seemingly vanishing from hunters at times. Fish swam and slipped away from any would be catcher. The birds, their hunters, protected their lakes and rivers with a fierce passion.

The Abyss grew bolder, intent on returning the lands to their rightful ruler.

Even the most loyal of pets had migrated from towns in droves, hissing and biting at any who shunned their creator. None remained loyal to their owners, but stayed with the children through the long and stormy nights, silently promising a better future—free from the sins of their forebearers.

-

Ahhh-- I didn't have any, like, actual plot come to mind so it's not very long but I hope this is good!

[i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry]

I'm new to the cult au and all i can say is that it's neat cause you can either make it angst or make it not angst and the potential is just there. I would also like to let this brainrot out of a rejected creator reader but they just think that everyone's attempt at killing them is cute. threats and being called an impostor is met with soft laughter. even chasing them is seen as a fun game. they just find it sweet that they would go this far for their god (which is literally them, technically)

This works great for actual god reader! I always love those vibes??? Just, every aspect screams of inhumanity. Rather than children, even, it's more like treating them as cute animals? Because you have to chastise children sometimes, lead them on their path growing up so they know right from wrong.

But animals?

[shouting profanities] "Oh, they're just doing what they're made to do!"

[warrant out for darling's arrest] "Look at how protective they are!"

[launches attack against god!reader] "Awh, watch them go <3"

[elemental attacks brushing past] "Yeah they bite, but it doesn't really hurt."

[i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry]

stardew valley!reader : look. nobody knows that they’re the creator. they just know reader as that one really cute farmer who lives in the woods and makes the best produce. everyone wants a piece of their pie, both metaphorically and also literally because you can’t have a cottagecore au without food porn. venti drops by all the time to pester reader for apple pie and also to discreetly (not really) ogle reader because muscles. zhongli drops by too to buy tea and premium ingredients even (1/2)

Good shit to take a break to <3

Rival farmers and companies try to figure out your secret but you can't replicate creator powers bb

Teyvat just loves us so much that we get optimal harvests of the highest quality, bugs and such will actually only pick a single item to use for food if they're too hungry, meaning your crops are never spoiled. They also grow quickly meaning you get extra for less and any seeds you sell naturally produce better quality (though usually only for the first generation since leaving your hands).

Venti basically makes himself at home on your farm at some point and likes to be carried around while you work. If he causes too much chaos and gets a temporary ban while you actually work, he'll just visit as a wind spirit.

The adepti visit too!! Idk where reader is making their farm (I accidentally wrote harem bc phone but that also works) but they'll travel there if they have to bc they found out it's an extremely comforting area??? Like it's completely free of any and all corruption.

Cloud Retainer actually brought some kind of cursed item (something controlled bc it'd be awful to ruin such an oasis!!) to test it's reaction and found that it's full on purified in your presence. She immediately dives into figuring out why but never actually does, the closest she gets is guessing that you possess some kind of blessing!! Also Xiao's debt vanishes while on your lands and your food can alleviate it even when he's far away <3

You start trading some tea for Zhongli's stories, or giving him a discount at least, bc he's always leaving his wallet behind and your godly farming x his tea brewing skills makes it well worth the financial "loss"

Reader fan club!?? It's so comfortable around them that people start just simping over them. Nobody can get within ten feet of their farm with negative intentions (the farming industry shakes its fist in frustration) and they're always met with hospitality from the cities, some vendors even request they barter with their crops/food bc it's so good.

And remember that thing where reader's food possesses magical priorities/blessings? That's a thing to the max here!! The crops naturally pick up the blessing, so it works (to a lesser extent, the raw ingredients are usually stronger on their own) for anyone, but in their hand??? Literally any epidemic could be solved with from kebabs from the reader.

[i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry]

Feeding off the anon with the idea of what if reader had to do whatever was requested of them, via a curse of some kind...

What if they wanted to be like that?

What if, instead of a curse, it's something they grew up doing so they do it bc it feels right to them

Let's take... Iruma Suzuki from Welcome to Demon School Iruma-Kun ! For an example

Person A, in Readers childhood: please do (task) for me

Reader, seeing it as a way of gaining the affection they crave: okay!

And it just devolves from fhere

And so they feel guilty whenever they either can't do it or just

Someone says they don't need their assistance

Like

"eh..? But I'm capable of doing it.."

So I'm basically asking for an iruma-esque reader/ pushover! Reader

..perhaps I'm projecting a lil bit, but eh-

I find it a curious concept ~

[coughs in trauma]

There's going to be blood.

Whoever dared to teach their God that they had to lower themself like that? They should have been taught how high above simple minded folk they are. That some foolish being would even think of such a thing...

I'm not sure how many of the cultists realize the whole nurture over nature thing but expect lots of therapy and reassurances. Some of your acolytes, should you think as such, might choose to bring up your insistence that Noelle or Jean take breaks and not destroy themselves for the minor help to others.

Just so much reassurance about how much your existence does.

Some of them might borderline rip you away from tasks.

Others see how it makes you happy to help and might try to redirect the energy or reframe your view point.

God help Noelle, she'd definitely try to take over any tasks you try to take on "like a good maid should!" bby no you already do so much!!

If it really upsets you to not help, which it probably does, I'm sure they'll put together some tasks for you to do! Spoiler alert, many of them are relaxation in disguise.

"Your Grace, would you be willing to sample my cooking?" Noelle or Xiangling request

"I'm hoping to find some new titles to read, I would love it if you could accompany me, Your Grace" Xingqiu offers

"Would you like to walk with me on my break?" Jean asks

Little things that still mean the world to them. They feel so selfish at times, taking advantage of your kind and loving nature.

This was super rambly but I hope it was still good

[i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry]

wait IMMEDIATE brainworms abt that dating sim idea like.... the characters constantly fucking with code and causing problems until they cave and make the sim, and then its released with like. four or five routes, and then u crack it open on a whim and are greeted with like. thirty routes. other ppl on twt saying that the sprites and cgs are a bit lacking :/,,, while the characters r basically putting as many cgs as possible into each route in ur game, bc even though its just a hollow vessel theyre romancing, the idea that its Your vessel, that theyre able to interact with You even more directly than before through this vessel, makes them a little out of control <3

I fucking love that <3

It's an empty puppet, but it's YOUR empty puppet, a puppet you can actually speak to them through!!

Even if they're all predetermined lines, you looked at the (surprising amount of) options and chose that one. It's enough that they can interpret your will through it and slowly but surely you find more and more options that are precisely what you want <3

You replay some of the earlier routes and they're different? They must have been updated, but you love them even more. Oh and it seems each character has multiple routes!! So much replayability, you're in awe with the developers

If you post about it, people assume you're just a really dedicated player making fanwork and roleplaying it as real. The comments explicitly stating this never reach your eyes <3

Also, the mc in the cgs looks surprisingly like you! The promotional artwork and screenshots from others didn't have that, but maybe it's randomized or a change they made and you got bugged with the old art? It would explain how many there are but why would they cut all this work just to change the player's stand in. well, the upper brass can be particular about this sorta thing, you think, poor developers and artists. Though you're just happy you got to experience the cut content, the stuff you see on playthroughs feels bland by comparison

One of your favorite things is your uncanny ability to predict what's going to happen next! You will just be mumbling to yourself about how you want to do this or that with the characters and wouldn't you know it! It happens! <3 usually within a few scenes too!

And the fact you aren't limited to the fan favorites or whoever some big wig decided would make the most money or looks the sexiest, you get everyone?? Even platonic or familial routes with the younger characters!

It quickly becomes your favorite game, with an endless spring of content you don't actually know how they managed. But that doesn't matter, you get to spend your days with all your favorite characters.

You better hope it stays as it is! :)

[i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry]

Hi I have a question,

Who do you think would immediately recognize that the reader is the creator of the world? Would they help?

Also your works are really cool, I've gotten so sucked into the au, and reading your stuff feeds my obsession very nicely

Also could I just randomly ask to be 🌺 Anon?

Well, we have the obvious: the Khaenri'ah squad (Albedo, Kaeya, Dainsleif, the Abyss Order, honorary members: the Travelers)

The rest of these are going to be more spoilerish for my works so uh read at your own digression?

Kazuha! (He was my second rank 10 friendship and my first whale instance (right from f2p lmao)) Man's so connected to nature, Teyvat just straight up tells him like "yooo that's the GOAT right there" and he's like "bet"

Xiao, bc fuck you. Precious birb boy has been through so much. He doesn't realize at first, but it's while he's chasing you down on orders that he realizes: he can't feel his karmic debt in your presence, you soothe an eternity of torment by existing, and breaks down on the spot because god he hurt (or was about to hurt) the most divine existence in Teyvat. of all his unforgivable sins, this was the greatest. He goes to tell Ganyu, because she's also precious and also entirely uninvolved in the situation bc she's so busy all the time. He doesn't tell Zhongli because that BITCH just sent him to kill his creator.

Klee is my longest main, first rank 10 friendship, lil sister of Albedo and daughter of motherfucking ALICE. She immediately recognizes the "stardust person"

Thoma doesn't immediately refer to you as an imposter, but he also doesn't immediately realize. He helps you hide from your unjust persecution until he realizes, just being in your presence is enough to let him know that you're the one they claim you're impostering.

Like Thoma, Beidou offers you shelter. She's seen all sorts, and at least allows you to tell her your story and shit man you've been through the wringer, wanna be a pirate? She'll help you change your appearance before you ever have to touch land again. She realizes quicker than Thoma bc she has the added help of Kazuha.

Diluc! I've always liked the "he's more self aware than most bc of Kaeya" idea (idk where that came from but it's good shit). Though he's against you on principle, he's quick to realize upon actually seeing you or by hearing from Kaeya (as strained as their relationship is, Kaeya would never lie or so much as joke about something like this)

Mona, the stars tell her. She was originally recruited to help track you down, a noble cause for her astrology, she believes. But she figures it out quickly and becomes appalled at the actions of her city.

Razor, the goodest boy. His instincts tell him you're someone important. Someone dear and to be protected and pampered. Bennet and Fischl fall in line, they're familiar with being singled out for something out of control, and if Razor likes you then you must be nice! They realize soon with their collective braincell.

Bastard boi Childe. His time in the abyss is enough to give him more insight than most. and if he uses his foul legacy? that man immediately becomes your puppy. read nicebonescomrade's work on it!!!

Madame Ping knows all. Yanfei finds out from her.

Xiangling finds out from Guoba, Xingqiu and Chongyun combine forces to disprove her and in the process prove her.

Hu Tao figures it out, she's got her sources (ghosts) and she can instinctively tell you're not someone normal. She does a little reconnaissance and lo and behold, you're that bitch

Qiqi. Enough said

Itto doesn't know until someone tells him but he's on your side bc himbo is good. I also feel like Yae would know and try to advise Ei, but she's either too late or ignored.

[i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry]

DUDE imagine combining “xiao did nothing wrong” with “sadistic cruel impostor”

as you were being hunted down as per the impostor’s orders, nobody had ever really managed to get close to you. nobody except for xiao. they had ordered for you to be brought back alive so they could watch your execution, so he brings you back to the palace and shoves you to the ground. he really didn’t want to hurt you, but to disobey the Divine One would be treason to the highest degree.

When his spear narrowly misses slicing off your arm and golden blood covers the tip, he realizes what he’s done.

The few days after the realization while you rest is pure chaos. your acolytes did everything in their power to atone for what they’ve done- gifts, poems, music, worship in any way they could think of. they knew your wrath would bubble up again when you were no longer bedridden from your injuries.

zhongli had been one of the few people to help you before you were recognized, so while you were recovering you left all the important things to him. as soon as you were able to sit on your throne again, he gathered up anyone who had harmed you at the impostor’s command, starting with the Yaksha he himself saw as a son.

Xiao kneeled in front of you, head bowed against the floor as Zhongli repeated what he had done, Xiao’s own spear still faintly stained gold pressed to his back. He didn’t dare to say a word; there wasn’t anything he could say to atone for something so heinous. Making you listen to the retched sound of his voice for any period of time would be a sin in and of itself. He simply stayed where he was, awaiting your judgement.

“Xiao,” you finally said, “come here.” He didn’t take his eyes off of the ground as he approached you.

When he was finally close enough, you held his chin and pulled his gaze up to look at you. “I forgive you, Xiao. You didn’t know it was me,” you said before pulling him into a hug.

Xiao didn’t know what to do for a moment. Maybe you wanted to kill him yourself, he thought, waiting for the knife you were definitely holding to stab him in the back. Or maybe you were playing with him, wanting to get his hopes up before ordering Zhongli to take him away and torture him. Maybe you were-

“Death will never be an appropriate punishment for a mistake,” you said quietly, sensing his inner thoughts.

“Your Grace, I-“ you shush him, telling him not to say anything. The chaos across Teyvat stressed you out and you just wanted everything to be peaceful again, so you’re more than happy to pretend it had never happened.

It took a moment for Xiao to melt into the hug, but when he did, he didn’t want to let go. So you held him there in your arms for as long as he needed. Poor boy had probably never been held so closely and gently before, so you let him enjoy it for a little longer.

Yes???? To all of this????

Tfw your encouraged cruelty and sadism turns into your downfall & you're revealed as an imposter. Sucks to suck, bitch.

"If there's anyone I can forgive, Xiao, it's you."

Punishment: a flick on the forehead and cuddles whenever you want. Wow, the inhumanity. How could you. Ect.

Ok but now I'm thinking about it and like??? Just opening your arms or making grabby hands towards Xiao & he's like "oh no I couldn't" and you're just like "punishment" and so he doubly has to??

Until you just start saying "punishment" to Xiao whenever you want cuddles??? That's fucking adorable??????

Good job brain, thanks for the serotonin.

[i-put-the-yan-in-polyandry]

it’s almost midnight; the moon high in the sky but obscured by clouds. in a dark alleyway close to dawn winery, a figure wrapped in shadows leans against the walls, waiting. a few minutes later a blur of motion darts into the alleyway. “do you have the goods?” they whisper, taking care to be as quiet as possible. it’s clear that they want whatever it is they’re here for. the shadowy figure chuckles. “why don’t you take a look for yourself?” he takes out a sleek black case, lined with (1/3) 🦝

Venti got banned for taking too many apples (like Teyvat didn't replace them the moment he left lmao), Kaeya profits, and Diluc is more done than ever

Edit: Meanwhile, Klee and Albedo just visit and get a whole ass apple pie.