#slipper.txt

[kungfuslipper]

You growled at the dog sometimes, and your voice scraped the bottom edge of the eaves. I was planning on telling you to use that gutter voice on me.

[kungfuslipper]

The Clone veteran scene is the most gripping thing I've seen in a while. That's all of Clone Wars in one perfectly shot moment, except now we're seeing it from the other side. That scene represents the story they need to tell with this show.

[kungfuslipper]

I feel like I'm finally accepting that I'm in a phase right now where I just do not want anything to do with productivity. No deadlines. No shoulds or musts. Basically I don't have that chase-ey feeling I sometimes get when I really feel the need to pursue something, whether it's leveling up in some area, getting something accomplished, or whatever. This does not by any means mean that I'm in the mood to be stagnant. I am very much interested in growth, intuition, experiencing, being present, expansion, giving and receiving and being in community. I am wanting to sit back and accept what life is showing me and giving me, and letting everything I've learned and built work for me. I don't need to manage and force and strive. I am fully capable of everything I expect out of myself, and all I'm interested in doing is letting myself do my thing in my own way and in my own time. I want life to happen to me, I don't want to make anything happen right now.

[kungfuslipper]

I’ve re-read Imperial Commando in a very short space of time, and I haz many thoughts and thots. Not sure if they’ll make their way out first via fic or * meta *.

But for now, the cliffnotes version:

Niner is the MVP of this whole story. Really, the guy deserves everything and more.

Darman is just too cute. Hiding in a janitorial closet wearing full katarn so he can talk to his son and his squaddies because he’s self conscious. Aweee. But also he’s such an idiot that I find I can’t suspend my disbelief about his mindset. Needs major overhaul via fic.

Maze just gives me a boner because he has the guts to give Kal a piece of his mind without second thought. *encore*. Solid, solid, solid human being right there.

Ordo is pretty weak in certain areas, one being his own ego (oh yeah if I wanted Zey dead I would have done it myself) sure buddy, keep telling yourself that. The other area being his rather disgusting dotage on Kal. I mean, he is clearly in charge, not Kal — he takes control and gives him orders when Kal starts acting like a melodramatic teenager — and yet he can’t stop going after him to “keep him out of trouble.”

Vau has a backbone, as per usual. Brings refreshment with every scene he enters.

Besany gives Ordo huge eyes and has turned into a wifey robot. “Oh, am I allowed an opinion”? GAG. Get away from me.

Kal: what exaclty does Ny see that’s making her want a relationship with this man? He’s clearly emotionally unstable and unable to understand right and wrong.

Ny: I don’t mind her but it’s funny because KT actually wrote her as quite skeptical of Kal (rightly so) and at odds with him at many turns. But she still thinks he’s worth her time. Whyyyy.

Jaing: you’re so hot please keep talking.

Kom’rk: sense of humor is direct from the gods. Would bang on sight. (Or site).

Jusik: where do I start. He has no sense of self, is easily persuaded, will almost martyr the persona to please the people whose good opinion he needs. Tbf he said he needed more time to figure things out. Got that right, boy. Figure out that what you care about most is fitting in somewhere. Which is not wrong to care about, but he’s going about it all wrong. He traded one morality for another and is realizing doing that doesn’t solve the problem. He takes faux responsibility. He needs to learn to take real responsibility.

Melusar: fucking dangerous. He will commit heinous crimes by winning the hearts and minds of all his men.

Uthan: Self defense is not on par with pre-meditated mass murder. Sorry. (She should have told Scout that).

Fi: *heart melts into a million pieces every time he comes on scene*. Would marry in an extravagant wedding with lots of music and dancing. Please let the man speak to his vode. For the love of all the gods. Actually someone please wait on him hand and foot. Let him have whatever he wants and spare no expense. JUSIK STOP USING HIM AS A SYMPATHY PROP YOU GIANT DICK.

Delta Squad: (didn’t even mention Sev anymore) *angry noises*. Howwwww. FIX IT NOW.

[kungfuslipper]

One of my favorite sections of O66 where Kal gets what is a well-earned talking to by Darman after finding out that Kal’s been hiding knowledge of his son from him, and has manipulated and threatened Etain into going along with the deception. The day of reckoning finally came, and Kal got a faceful of blood.

This is an especially telling scene. We have Kal’s overly dramatic manipulation act yet again. Shedding tears, shaky voice. It might work on Ordo, who’s so attached it’s almost hopeless, but it doesn’t fool Darman anymore. He’s a quiet and even-tempered guy, the last person you’d think would explode in a conflict. But when it comes down to it, Darman’s really the most courageous. He’s willing to confront this terrible manifestation of the unknown and force the truth out of someone he was supposed to be able to trust. Even Niner, the squad’s conscience, didn’t want to know everything. Maybe it’s because the betrayal was very personal for Darman. Anyway he has an incredibly good head on his shoulders for someone Kal thought couldn’t handle knowledge of his own son.

Kal lies to himself and others incessantly. He says he was trying to protect Darman; I say BS. He wasn’t doing it for Darman, he was doing it for himself. Lies, betrayal, and refusal to release inappropriate control over someone else’s life aren’t love.

Darman calls Kal a liar a few pages later, and imo, he was correct. Kal never really loved any of his sons. What he did was something twisted and very close in appearance to the real thing, but not the real thing. Love isn’t a feeling only; it’s action — the right action, and very few of Kal’s actions supported the individuation of any of his kids, Etain and Jusik included. The end goal was to comfort himself for his previous wrongdoings — to give himself a purpose in life, and he lied about his motives consistently in his self-storying and of course to his sons.

Dar also said Kal wasn’t even aware he was lying. He was correct about that too. Honesty, especially with oneself, is incredibly hard, and Darman could see Kal’s shadow.

[kungfuslipper]

Writing can be such a wild experience. I don't know how it happens but sometimes, something comes over me and I just vomit up words out of nowhere. It's like waking up from a dream so vibrant and affecting that you're shook for the entire day afterwards, feeling like you met an archangel or something. Except with writing, the effects never leave. To this day if I hear One for Sorrow, It's like the story it triggered starts crawling out of my skin again.

[kungfuslipper]

Sev.

[kungfuslipper]

Usually I just want to sit on a porch and look out at the horizon somewhere. Someone I love is beside me and we're just chatting, when we feel like it. Sometimes we're reading, or I'm writing. Every so often we go for a walk, or play a game, or play music, or sprint down the road, or have a tussle. Sometimes we go inside and cook and eat. And we have dessert. We go to bed. We sleep and only wake up when we've had enough. Everything is enough, and that's it.