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i feel like im missing something. i keep seeing posts of various kin from similar sources to mine talking about looking for or finding their friends, often that they already found a certain person and dont want more. ive seen it so much that im assuming im just experiencing being fictionkin completely differently as i dont… feel that way? maybe it’s just because i dont believe anyone can be the exact version of my friends i remember, but i dont feel very compelled to look for single specific people

#i see all these posts that make it sound easy #like youll know them when you see them and you dont need other versions of them #is everyone else experiencing something more profound?#i have all kinds of feelings. just not those i guess #small1shposts #fictionkin #hermit kin #mcyt kin

would be lying though. feels like theres something really wrong inside my head

#small1shposts #i dont really know how to describe what it feels like #technically now i have people i can talk to who know about kin things #but i really dont like to talk about things being wrong #i already feel like im too open about things with them (thanks sausage)#ive maxed out on how many negative feelings i can express (THANKS SAUSAGE)#seriously ive mostly been caught up with the vsausage kintype and all the memories and feelings that come with it #and ive done a LOT of whining #so i dont want to show up like 'whats up im joel now you get all of the bitching and none of the benefits'#and theres some other things that are like #not things i like to talk about in general #that kick in when this shift hits?#i dont think im in a shift #doesnt feel like. quite the same #but what else would it be #dammit.#it doesnt feel right to say im in a kinshift #but i feel like. me.#but ive decided theres no way im not a singlet (saying it that way to avoid crosstagging)#thats not the point here #the point is theres a hole in my head #and the feelings in there are muffled but theres too many of them

cant even do my "im normal im normal im normal im so normal im fine everything is fine im normal" affirmations because now it just comes across like im definitely lying about being fine

#stupid season 11 #small1shposts #i might be season 11 #i dont know yet it hasnt sat long enough

anxiety. missing people. burrowing into a hole now

#small1shposts

i should get a better icon but i cant really think of anything i want to use

#small1shposts #should make a better pinned post as well

whenever i see pink and green together i go "me and my wife!!" but it just occurred to me that 1. those are also the cosmo and wanda colors and 2. that makes me cosmo

#we are not the useless husband and resentful wife trope............#small1shposts

my whole connection to the life series is basically the wolf king thing. i did that but it wasnt me. except that it's me because i was just playing pretend. but the wolf king is someone else.

#small1shposts #im procrastinating some things

weird that grian and jimmy are definitely my best friends other than lizzie but i dont remember being the bad boys at all

#small1shposts

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