#smallest quotes

[trivinia]

Me: begins to relax in nice steamy bath that probably took all our hot water

boyfriend: decides to hop in, so i have to let most of the water out to accomidate us both

boyfriend: less than 5 minutes later "it's too hot, i'm getting out"

Me: flops around in 2 inches of tepid water

boyfriend: well why'd you let all the water out goof?!

Me: aggressively throws soap bubbles everywhere

[trivinia]

-Boyfriend finally watched Korra, so we were talking about it. He said he actually liked how it ended.

Me: "Amon a boat."

Anthony: -pushes me out of bed- "Aaand I'm done."

[trivinia]

I like hentai with long storylines, but they don't get sent stateside very often. I think that's cause American viewers just blow their load and go "eeeh, I'm done." Me, no. Know why? SPACE SHIPS WITH TITS. THAT'S WHY.

[trivinia]

Triv: chicks dig scars

Anthony: not when they're from herpes.

[trivinia]

Anthony: What are you gonna do when you lose all that weight?

Triv: I dunno, probably lop it off with a pair of rusty scissors.

Anthony: I was thinking we could make a purse out of it.

Triv: Be realistic.

Anthony: You're right. Wallet. Ooh! We could make a mini-Necronomicon!

Triv: Can it have a smiley face on it? :D

Anthony: No. Something whimsical. With googley eyes.

[trivinia]

Smalls: Come on, put on some shoes so we can go get food.

me: (throws blanket cape up and imitates Bale-man) BUT I AM THE NIGHT

Smalls: You are the hero Sulphur deserves. Sounds about right.

me: (deflates as any remnants of self esteem vacate the premises) My self esteem is now so low that I am ded. Congrats, you have keeled me.

[trivinia]

Boyfriend is watching Fringe (I think he's in season 3?)

Smalls: HE'S GONNA DRINK THE MILK NOOOO

me: what even.

...a few minutes later...

me: Are you crying?

Smalls: *sniffles and broken voice* NO.