#smilemaddy

[smilemaddy]

who remembers the boy who makes me sad? because he’s back hahahahahaha

we have a 5 day streak on snapchat and he’s definitely going to break it tonight and I'm just :///

[smilemaddy]

what will be, will be

[smilemaddy]

I officially survived my first semester of grad school and it was one hell of a ride and there were many, many, many, MANY times I did not think I would make it but somehow managed to get a 4.0 and I honestly cried because I was so happy

[smilemaddy]

guys I tie dyed sheets and pillowcases for my bed!! I hope it turns out good 😂

[smilemaddy]

me: I have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. I have to start taking small risks and doing things that scare me.

also me, 2 seconds later when the boy that makes me sad calls me: fuck it seems like a perfect time to do laundry and text him in 10 minutes saying “sorry I was doing laundry”

[smilemaddy]

a certain boy makes me /so/ sad and it’s just making me feel meh overall 

[smilemaddy]

ngl I was making a post about how a guy I used to talk to called me and I didn’t answer and how I wasn’t going to because boys are in the past for a reason BUT! I freaking called him back and talked to him for an hour 🙃🙃🙃🙃

[smilemaddy]

not sure why it’s so difficult for me to let you go. maybe it’s because I get visibly happy when I talk about you or when when I talk to you. maybe it’s because you make me laugh like no one else. maybe it’s because you taught me that you can lose someone if you’re too guarded. maybe it’s because I keep thinking about the what ifs and could have beens. i have spent a lot of time hoping you’d consistently talk to me- but now all I hope for is peace regardless of our communication because I can’t continue to go round and round and up and down with the emotions.