#smschleigh

[stephysly]

DONE

Every time you've said “I love you” It was a lie through & through. Bold faced & stone hearted. Like the Red Sea my heart has parted. Now I question if anything was true. Tired of acting as if all is fine When I know your whole heart isn't mine. I'm over saying it isn't fair, That I shouldn't have to share. I've been betrayed by you the last time. I'm done & over being abused. My heart is sick of being bruised. You've made me feel that I deserve this, That I'll remain low in this abyss. Never again will my body be used. There will not be one last go. It sounds simple to just say no. But when it comes to you Saying that little word is hard to do. It's time you learn to reap what you sow. It's time I learn to be stronger, I will be weak no longer. I must quickly say my goodbyes And refuse to hear your lies, Not sating your lustful hunger. Taking a deep breath, I turn, Walking away as your eyes burn. ~S.M. Schleigh

[stephysly]

NEWBORN SUN

It's always the same proposition But you constantly change position. You've got me frustrated & confused I'm beginning to feel like a toy to be used. What is it that ties me to you? What am I supposed to do? Your mixed signals don't help me decide Whether I'm going to run or just hide. You call to ask me if I wanna go out, But it's just a smokescreen you lay about. We never seem to get out the door Usually ending up naked on my floor. Our flame scalds both hot & cold Searing scars into my skin, thick & bold. When morning comes, bringing the dawn, I wake to a cold bed & you're gone. I ask why I do this to myself, When I know I'm just a toy on a shelf. But as soon as you call rational goes away. I hope & wish that you would just stay. Then once again the sun rises & I'm all alone. I feel the ice slowly turn my heart to stone. Next time you call I'll let it ring Because in my heart you are no longer king. It's always the same proposition, But now it's me changing position. I'm no longer confused or frustrated. The ashes of our passion, gray & faded. No longer am I tied to you, And I know exactly what to do. I will not run & I will not hide. My time I simply will bide. Because Karma's a bitch my dear And when she gets you I will be here, To watch you burn hot & cold Deep in the flames blue & gold. In the early hours before the dawn I'll see you burn until you're gone. Keeping warm beside the fire That was once your funeral pyre. In the rosy glow of the newborn sun I realize it is I that, in the end, finally won. ~S.M. Schleigh

[stephysly]

WONDERLAND

I bolt upright, My head spinning. Another night, The disease winning. My land of dreams, Ripped apart. Opened at the seams, All my joy depart. My Wonderland destroyed, Replaced by my greatest fears. Places I once enjoyed, Now only bring tears. Aloud I shout, Try to wake. My sanity in doubt, I need to escape. Falling down the rabbit hole Was a grave mistake. ~S.M. Schleigh

[stephysly]

IN ANGEL'S HANDS

Water running down the path Mingling with the blood you've spilt. Observing my wounds, you laugh, Destroying the confidence I'd built. My spirit fractures with my heart, Any hope I had has died. You promised not to tear me apart. How was I to know you lied? The dreams I had, forever shattered. You've tricked me once again. I thought that I finally mattered, But now I'm begging for the end. Regretfully, I gave you another chance, Now I am all but hollow. Tired of this song & dance, I long to go where you can't follow. Slowly I begin to fade away. Warm light surrounds, my broken spirit flies; It is the reckoning day. I no longer have to believe your lies. I'm now held in the Angels' hands, Surrounded by the love you denied me. Leaving so soon was not in my plans, But now I'm at peace, free finally. –S. M. Schleigh

[stephysly]

BURN

How long before I could see All of the damage you did to me? Not just the scars seen by the eye, But the deepest ones on the inside. You taught me with your fists, Even told me to slit my wrists; Then wonder why I'm fucked up in the head, Feeling like I'd be better off dead. I've spent so much money & time, Just to be able to write this rhyme. So many years in therapy, Because you weren't there for me. How long before I know who I am? Before I even give a damn? When will I be safe in my own skin? Safe in the knowledge it wasn't my sin? One day you'll get back what you gave. I hope it takes you to your grave. Maybe even by my own design, I'll teach you words aren't benign. –S. M. Schleigh

[stephysly]

DEMONS

How long? How long? Must I stay strong? When can I give up the fight? Will I always have this blight? I thought my life a mission; To you I gave my submission. I saw an apostrophe; A sign that there was more to see. But I’m sick & tired of this pain. I really don’t wanna play your game. And now that I know it was all a lie, The time has come to say goodbye. I’d rather walk the street blind, Than be stuck in my own mind. Playing the same old rendition, Going insane in my condition. I scream, I cry & shake the walls, And even though they fill the halls, No one seems to hear or see That I wish to cease to be. Am I dreaming or awake? My hands begin to shake. Oh God! Why am I this way? I scream to keep the demons at bay. ~S. M. Schleigh

[stephysly]

STRONG

Smiling through the pain, You’ve hurt me once again. I can’t let my tears fall, My back’s against the wall.

I’m stuck in this position, Always asking for permission. No longer living, waiting to die. Never right, no matter how I try.

How many times will you hurt me? You say I just can’t see, That what you do is out of love, And that you’re a gift from above.

But it is time I take a stand, Stop seeing the back of your hand. When you come home I won’t be here, I’ll no longer live in fear.

You tried to break my spirit, To hate love & make me fear it. But I will learn to love again, And to forgive you for your sin.

It won’t be long Before I see that I am strong.

~S. M. Schleigh