The cold, rainy weather annoyed you. It was too cold to be comfortable with the fan on, yet too hot to be comfortable with it off. You sat in your room, aware of a few tasks you had to get done, but in no mood to do them.
Winter was nicer than the rainy season. It was properly cold, and you actually had motivation to work. You could wrap yourself in a blanket as you waddled around the house. Every so often, a craving for a warm drink would arise, and you'd get up to make tea. Or maybe hot chocolate.
The thought of hot chocolate triggered a string of memories you were trying to escape.
Warm hands, ones that messed up when they made tried to cook or bake, handed you the best cup of hot chocolate you'd ever have. You looked up to see Jimmy adding extra whipped cream to your mug with a wink. He took pictures of you with a hot chocolate moustache, and you tried to do the same to him, but by the time you brought your phone up, he'd already wiped it off.
Even if you had taken pictures, they'd be deleted by now.
The memories played on, leaving an aftertaste more bitter than before.
Cuddling up to him by the fire, taking in each feature of his, clinging to him after a long day. You delighted in the gentler side he showed only in private, in the way he became comfortable with hugs and cuddles, so much so that he was never further than a few inches away.
These were treasured memories of times long past. It hurt to think that they wouldn't come back, and each time you were reminded of them, the pain got worse. Wasn't it supposed to get better, easier with time?
The same scenes of Jimmy played in your head. Just like a movie, they were never fading, and so vivid you might've believed he was handing you hot chocolate one last time.
Only the weather brought you back.
It sapped all your energy. Maybe- maybe you could indulge yourself today. You could let the memories of you and Jimmy play longer than you usually did. Maybe you'd let them take over your thoughts for as long as they wanted. It was a step backwards, you thought, but moving on is exhausting. You didn't have the will to keep trying to forget.
The beckoning warmth drew you closer, and you fell into it, losing yourself in a winter you'd never escape from.
notes: i got a few kudos for this on ao3 so i gained the confidence to post it :D (also, a few mutuals read it and really liked it)
