(cw: angst/comfort, established relationship, whole cake spoilers, restraints)
(a/n: i’ve been writing a lot of smut n i kinda needed a palette cleanser. so here’s some angst that is so so self indulgent)
words: 1.7k
***
“I wanna try something new,” Nami purred as she passed him on deck. She skimmed her fingertips along his forearm before whisking away to her tangerine trees. Her touch, as it always did, sent electricity through him. Luffy had been leaning over the railing, enjoying the sea breeze. He liked watching the water break beside their ship. But now, his stomach was hungry in that not-for-food way, and his eyes stayed glued to his navigator as she swished away.
***
“What’s that for?” Luffy was sitting cross-legged on his bed, sandals off and hat hanging from his neck. Nami was in her miniskirt and tube top that had teased him the whole damn day, with a short coil of rope in her hands.
“Restraints,” she said with that arch in her eyebrow she did whenever she was flirting with him. Sometimes he still didn’t catch on to when she was flirting, much to his chagrin, but he was getting better at it.
“You want me to tie you up?” He’d heard of it before, saw magazine covers. Nami was blushing the same color as his cardigan. She nodded.
“Yeah…,” her voice thinned out, “I think it’d be fun.” Her eyes slipped away and Luffy tsked.
“Cmere,” he took her chin in his hand, “If you want me to do something, I’ll do it.” This made her blush more, and Luffy grinned. He shrugged out of his cardigan and took the rope.
***
Nami was lying on her back, still in her clothes, with her arms above her head. Luffy was leaning over her, securing the rope around her wrists. He had his tongue sticking out like a cat as he focused on the knot. He knew a plethora, and had said a quick release knot would be best.
“How’s that?” He gave a tug on the rope before Nami tested the tightness on her wrists.
“Not bad,” she mused, shifting a little in place. She was getting excited.
She’d had this idea for a while, it was something she’d fantasized about since she was a teenager, but she hadn’t asked until now. She’d never felt safe enough with anyone before.
But Luffy was her Luffy, and he’d never do anything to hurt her.
“Good,” he said, pleased. He leaned back, his eyes crinkled shut like crescent moons. Nami squirmed, thrilled at the tension of the rope around her wrists. She wanted to be at his mercy, to have to take what he gave her. It was something she loved about sex with Luffy: he was almost always in control, and he did everything he could to make her feel good. She could relax and give in, let her captain carry her and kiss her, toss her around the bed and fuck her however he pleased.
Luffy opened his eyes.
She expected him to blush, to bite his lip, to touch her waist like he always did. But as soon as he saw her, his face went pale. He froze where he was knelt back on his heels, hands hovering in midair.
“Luffy?”
He didn’t answer.
Nami scrunched her eyebrows. She squirmed in her bonds. “Luffy, what’s wrong?” Was she ugly? Was he not into this? She’d thought it’d be sexy, it was supposed to be sexy…
Luffy’s mouth opened, but the only sound that came out was a choked hiccup. He finally snapped out of it and shook his head, frowning deeply. “I don’t like it,” he stated, voice hard. He quickly leaned forward to undo the rope, throwing it across the room without even looking.
Then he was lifting her up, taking her hands in his, and pressing kisses to her palms. “M’sorry,” he kept mumbling, something very obviously wrong. She hadn’t seen him this distressed in a while.
“Luffy, talk to me,” she whispered, watching her boyfriend fight back tears as he pressed his face between her palms. He shook his head, still squishing her hands to his cheeks.
“S’nothing.”
If Nami hadn’t had her hands on his face she would have hit him. “It’s obviously not nothing! Tell me what’s wrong!” Her heart was beating fast. She hated not knowing how to help him.
He was always saving her, stepping in when she needed him.
“Let me be there for you.”
She spoke softly, ducking her head to try to meet his eyes. Luffy sniffed, and shook his head again. Nami waited.
Eventually, he sniffled again and spoke.
“Didn’t like it. Made me think…when we were in that book. Big Mom’s place. We had our hands pinned above our heads, and Sanji…,” his face crumpled as he remembered, “He was in pain. He needed help. And we were trapped. I hated feeling like that. I…,” another hiccup left him as his spine curled forward, “I was ripping off my hands to get to him. You were screaming at me to stop, that I was scaring you, but I couldn’t think,” his voice was barely a whisper. Nami’s pulse thundered in her ears as he spoke.
“All I knew was that we had to get out, get to him, save our friend. I was so fucking scared, so pissed off. I hated being trapped,” he cut himself off with a groan, still hiding his face between her hands.
“Luffy…,” she remembered exactly what he was talking about. She’d been scared and pissed off, too. Luffy was freedom incarnate, it was what he cared about most of all. Feeling trapped must have been awful, especially with Sanji needing his help.
Luffy always helped.
“Sorry, fuck, I’m sorry,” he sniffed hard, then let go of her to sit up. He dragged his arm under his nose. But his face was still red, still scrunched, and his chest was shaking as he struggled to breathe.
Oh, fuck.
Luffy was deeply, really in pain.
“Luffy, it’s okay,” she reached out to him again but he shook his head. He scrubbed his hands over his face.
“Sorry, I’m okay,” he swallowed, shook his head again, slapped his cheeks.
“Luffy, stop—,”
Luffy interrupted her with a sharp groan, fists balled into his eyes. His whole body was shaking. Nami couldn’t take it. She grabbed his wrists and ripped them away from his face.
“Don’t deny me this,” she commanded, more venom in her voice than she’d ever used. “I spent two years wishing I could do this. Support you. Hold you.” She shoved him toward her, into her chest. They fell back on the bed with the force of it, and Nami wrapped both her arms and legs around her captain. His favorite way to hug.
She locked her ankles around his back.
“If you have to cry, you’re going to cry.” She commanded him again, one hand buried in his hair and the other gripping his shoulder. Luffy was stilted, frozen. He was shuddering in breaths and holding them, trying very hard not to sob.
“Cry, Luffy.”
And he did.
Nami held him as sobs wracked through him, snot and tears getting all over her collarbone. He wrapped his arms around her, letting his full weight rest on her. She welcomed it, wanted it. She scratched his scalp as he tried to breathe.
“Sorry,” he muttered. Nami tugged his hair.
“Shut up,” she spat, “I used to imagine this, fall asleep imagining this. I knew you were in so much pain, and you were alone, and all I wanted to do was help you. Hold you. Press you into my heart until nothing could ever hurt you anymore.” She hiccuped out her own breath, realizing with a crash that she’d started crying, too.
Her palms stung with the memory of that giant pin.
“Fuck Big Mom,” she grit out, “Tacking people to books like dead bugs. Stealing our Sanji away just to try to kill him. I fucking hate her,” Nami spat. “I’m so proud of you for standing up to her.”
Luffy heaved a breath. His next words came out muffled and wet, shared into her chest with tears and snot. “I love you…I love all of you. So much.”
She tightened her limbs around him. “I know, Lu. We love you too.”
Heartbeats slowed, breaths evened out. Luffy eventually finally relaxed into her. He sniffled and kissed her collarbone.
“Sorry, I made you all wet,” he gave a sort of huffed-out laugh. He stretched an arm off the side of the bed to grab a discarded shirt. He sat up to clean her off, face red and puffy. Nami sat up after him.
“You always do,” she tried a flimsy flirt. Luffy smiled: a small one but a real one. Nami took the shirt from his hands, folded it to the dry side, and wiped his face. He let her.
“Thanks,” he mumbled, deflated. His hands were folded in his lap. He sniffed hard. “I haven’t cried like that since, um…,” he scruffed a hand through his hair and left it at that.
Nami’s heart broke.
“I’m sorry, Lu,” she murmured. She remembered. Then she bit her lip, about to say a raw truth that she didn’t know the consequences of. “Before I saw your picture in the News Coo, I was terrified. I wanted to get to you. I knew you were going through something really hard, and you needed help,” she rubbed an eye with the heel of her hand. “If…if I could have gotten to you by ripping off my hands, I would’ve done it, too.”
Luffy crashed into her.
He was kissing her face, holding her tight, pressing his face into her hair. “Don’t,” he kept saying, “Don’t do that. Don’t ever do that.” His voice took on that deep, steady tone he had whenever he gave an official order. Nami lightly smacked his shoulder.
“You don’t do it either!”
Luffy shook his head, caressing her cheek. “I’m the captain, it’s different.”
Nami scoffed, “No it isn’t! You need your hands, Lu! I need your hands!” Luffy sighed.
“I guess I wouldn’t be able to punch things…,” he relented.
“Or finger me, idiot!”
Luffy burst into a laugh. A loud one. “I guess I didn’t think of that!”
“Well, think about it next time,” Nami huffed as she sat up. Luffy was smiling again, sorta normal, as he stood off the bed. He picked his forgotten cardigan off the floor and shrugged it back on.
“Hungry?” He asked her, kinda hopefully. Nami smiled in return.
yall are making your ocs kiss? i’m making mine break down sobbing into the other’s arms and them saying soft gentle comforting things and smoothing their hair. “you’re okay, you’re okay, you’re safe.”
