#so it's...

[seyaryminamoto]

I was writing an Ozai-Iroh dialogue and at one point, when I wasn’t focusing much, I wrote “Zuko” instead of “Ozai”. I think this is when I get kicked out of the fandom, right?

[jen--ne--sais--quoi]

So it’s 10:01pm...

and today I watched The Black Parade is Dead! for the first time, and while I really enjoyed it, seeing that band wield music like a soul-tearing weapon opened up that ache in me that wants to be onstage, making music and infusing sound into my veins for an audience. But I have nothing to offer except a mediocre voice and a lot of energy--I can’t even play guitar, and I have nobody who wants the same things as me. And tomorrow I have to go back to school to get those bachelor’s degrees that are putting me in debt for jobs that I still won’t be qualified for...and times like this I don’t even know if I want those jobs or if I just wanna dig my way through the arts with a spoon, wasting my education and money like I said I never would. 

It’s 10pm on a Saturday and all I feel is dissonance. 

[mattvirginia]

motherFUCKER

[jen--ne--sais--quoi]

So it's 1:10am...

I have a menu test tomorrow at my new job. Guess who hasn't given a fuck about the menu this entire week????

[jen--ne--sais--quoi]

So it’s 3:13am...

And I’m looking at all the Raven and Ok Go merch I can’t afford while also looking for Christmas presents that I also can’t afford and I’m like, ‘Where’d my money go???....oh yeah, paying people back, food, bills, and treating myself with booze....great...’  I’m so tired of having no money and then beating myself up as I remember I should be happy I can afford food but then I’m like ‘but I want more than just food what kind of life is this’ and convince myself I deserve something nice and then I beat myself up until I’m tired of having no money...repeat. 

[jen--ne--sais--quoi]

So it’s 3:44am...

Man not to shit on my own generation but I literally can’t find an empirical study that supports us being more compassionate, empathetic, socially active, or communally focused than the last two generations. Like those values have been steadily declining since the Baby Boomers, and I’m getting disappointed in us. 

[jen--ne--sais--quoi]

So it’s 5:13am...

and I’ve sent an arduous, pathetically apologetic email to my psych professor asking for an extension, and I hope she has such a good time laughing at my sad attempts at begging that she grants the extension. 

Either way I’m going to bed and might have a nightmare about grad schools not accepting me because of my psych GPA being less than 1000% perfect which is stupid, but here I am.