#so sunk

[obnoxiouslysexy]

Sometimes I wonder, my heart looking determinedly the other way, if you realize how often you refer to me as spouse. Wife.

"Be a good little holly housewife and make me some dindin" 'I can heat up the left over pizza?' "perfect".

On Dragonball "pay attention, you'll have to go wife training of your own soon" 'I'll take notes' "good job".

I cradle myself into the feeling of it, my body still sore from you pressing your body into mine the night before. I have been thrilling, pressed against your body all day, and your unconscious mind peeking out is a perfect cap.

I might not ever want to get married again. But I do want you to hold me like this for the rest of my life.

[obnoxiouslysexy]

"all that soft hair, billowing in the wind"

I have, objectively, the worst Friday night I have ever had. I have the shittiest fight with this parental unit that I have no choice but to live with and honestly felt fine to do until my Protoboy found his way, but we hash it out badly and I take off, and spend an hour in a parking lot stress cleaning my car. We've already agreed on Saturday, and I think of calling you when you get out work anyhow. You've told me before you'd never turn me away (you tell me again later, when I finally get to you). I wait it out. She apologizes. I try to forget. You go out for the evening and don't call, and when I get panicky, I have to talk myself down. You finally let me know that you're out about two hours after I expected to hear from you. "Not home, but safe. Want a call?" I cry for the hundredth time that night. The next day you apologize again and again for sleeping late and burning day light. Im just glad to get to you. You snuggle me and kiss my head and we watch movies in the dark with your hand holding mine. It soothes my soul. We complain through Solo and laugh at Bleach. We drag out to mellow mushroom and have a delightful pizza. We smoke in the dark and talk about the list of things we want to watch. "Let's just move in together to up our available watch time" you smile at me 'yeah, I'll work out a color coded weekly schedule'. Bedtime comes for both of us, but you wheeze through an asthma attack. We finally get you out of your tiny room and into the fresh living room. I try to stay with you, and you try to move yourself to another room with me, and apologize for keeping me up but in the end I shout at you to just shut up and let me love you, and settle down in your room while you sleep in the living room. It's hard not to stay up and dust. I want to help. I sleep fitfully. I finally get back up in the middle of the morning and pad into the kitchen to check on you. I find you staring into the kitchen back at me, and without a word you scoot over on the couch so I can climb under the thin blanket with you. We press our skin together and I'm happy. You keep me into game night. We talk about going, but after the night before you don't know. I never know- I like going, but the never-ending chain smoking makes me ill. You call it off. "Date night" you type into the discord. I smile. I kiss your face and try to soak up all of you I can get.

[obnoxiouslysexy]

It's Sunday morning. I had to run an errand yo get the dog a rabies shot while you slept, but now I'm back. I smell like a dog that never quite gets clean. Ive presented us with donuts and smiles and you're walking through the kitchen in your boxers with a donut. I love you fiercely. I dodge a hug because of the dog smell and you suggest a shower. I ditch most of my clothes to eat before we do, the sound you make when you pat my bottom and find it bare is adorable. We pop under the water and I'm delighted that I got to be soapy and naked with you three times in as many days. You get dressed in the bathroom and I trapse through naked to my bag in the bedroom. I'm shaking my shirt out to put it on when you walk in behind me- you wrap your arms around my naked waist and kiss the apple of my cheek, and I think of how often this weekend you've learned over me to kiss me gently and how wonderful it has felt.

I don't get to keep you long. But you're telling me about the changes made between controllers and making dark souls suggestions and it's all I can do to not tell you outright that I love you. So I crawl across the couch and kiss you and I'm happy.

Later, you'll lament that game night was cancelled, but it would be rude to try and lure me out. I would, but knowing you miss me makes me feel like want honey inside. I'm so happy.

[obnoxiouslysexy]

I can’t tell if I invited myself out tonight or not. I don’t care. As long as I keep laughing like that, I’ll never care. We watch a terrible movie, then wander back out for more smoke. We giggle over dumb things, and it’s all I can do to not collapse into you. I’m still trying to decide if you’re in the middle of a story and get stuck on a thought, because it sounds as tho you refer to me as “now, listen, my wife” before carrying on with our supposed conversation. I must imagine it. maybe I just want to hear it. Either way, I don’t imagine getting back into bed, and snuggling down. You squeeze me tightly, and then tighter and playfully tighter, which I hope will crack my back, but only presses my throat gently closed and drives my body to throb. None of it is helped when I laugh a particularly throaty laugh, and you oooh at me and lean down to kiss me in a way that would surely lead us into a slow frenzy if it were an empty house. I miss your mouth sometimes. mm. You’ve yanked my clothes up and pressed cool sheets against my skin, and pressed my palm against your cheek without allowing it to move, and I bite my tongue.

But then you remind me of the time, and we decry it a bit. “quit your job and just come live here” ‘I dont’ think that would go over well’ “nope. but it would be a fun boat ride while it lasted. You quit your job, and I’ll quit my job, and we”ll hang on here until the food stamps run out”

If you know how tempting that offer was, I would have turned several shades of red.

You kiss me deeply at the car and I swoon, and shiver in the cold. Kissing you warms me, and then you’re gone.

One day, I really hope it won’t be you going back inside without me.

[obnoxiouslysexy]

I don't know if you realize that when you rub intently across my back and hip, you light a trail of fire across me. But o well. You do that if you're there or not- I thought of you kissing me at work and suddenly I was much more awake. When you can actually touch me? You do and I sigh and when you kiss me I feel better about my long day. When I kiss you it tries to evolve, and I'm pleased. You're energetic today, siting ska. Either way, you're more upbeat than I expect. You make a joke about cesarean scar fetishes, and I have a scary moment of imagining you caressing scars on your ex. My insides feel like my soul is turning inside out, if I have one. But you come back to me, hand on my leg, thumb stroking my thigh. It helps. You kiss me goodnight and thank me for coming, and when I thank you, you tell me anytime, just warn you to put on pants. I ask why i'd warn you, and you lace your fingers in mine and kiss me again. Sigh.