continuation from here for @garciti There’s a part of him that knows there should be an order to the world, one where he isn’t the screw up that he is and one where he gets things right. when he sat across the table from her, he can’t help but frown and confess to everything he’s been feeling. it’s as though there’s no one else to tell these to, not even his best pals. they had better things to do than to worry about his stupid emotions. He wanted to say more, but when he saw the look in her eyes, his word drown in his throat. he can’t say more. not when they take out the light in her eyes. he laughed then, shrugging and rubbing the back of his head in a sheepish way to try to lighten the mood. except it made it worse, and all he did was sigh and apologize. “I’ll just talk to you some other time, yeah?” he’s on his feet the next minute, rummaging through his pocket to toss the gil on the table. He turns to look at her, a smile on his face, before he waves and tells her a soft ‘see ya.’ He figures it’s enough for now. he figures that all he needs is some time to think and sort out what the hell is going through his head, or maybe more time to push it aside and forget about it altogether. except that isn’t how sana works, and sana is a component in the equation that he can’t control. “Sana?” he doesn’t pick up what she says in the beginning, taking out his headphones as he cranes his neck down to hear her. through the loudness of everything around them, he narrows in and hears her rushed, apologetic words. He wants to say he isn’t ready to hear this, but the way she confesses everything so sincerely all of a sudden makes him feel bad for making her think she wasn’t a good friend. he bites his lip, looking down at her as if she was some fragile thing he could easily break in his hands. he keeps his hands to his side, clenching his fist at how dumb he’s been. he doesn’t know what to think when she wraps her arms around his neck and pulls him in as though she was an anchor to hold him on the shore. His hands unclench, headphones hitting the ground, as he awkwardly wraps his arms and pats her back. “You’re not a bad friend, you know.” He fumbles around with his headphones, stuffing them into his pocket. “Uh, you’re actually a really good one.” He smiles, the tilt of his lips crooked in every sense. He tightens his hold around her a little more. “I’ve just got a lot in my head.” there were daemons to fight, people to defeat, and people he wanted to keep safe no matter what. and she was one of those people. “I just need to get stronger, but I just feel so incapable of doing that. I didn’t mean to push all of my…insecurities on you. I’m sorry.” He lets go of her, keeping his hands on her shoulders, as he grins down at her. “But hey, you know, you’ve got nothing to worry about. Even though I’m like this, I’ve made it this far right? That’s gotta count for something.”