#sobbing rant

[sydney-sharkgirl-oak]

One part of me i hate above most else, with my terrible memory, is how much about my wife i can never remember

Its so embarrassing and shameful

Shes this spectacular gal I'm obsessed with and I can't remember her birthday or what she did in college of what we talked about 5 minutes ago, I cant remember what tribe shes from, or even how old she is, we've known each other for 6 years probably and she'll tell me things we've done together in the past that I have just no memory of and the shame of all this hurts so much

[thegayestbi]

I don't know what's so wrong with me. I can be perfectly happy the whole week I am home alone, actually being productive member of society. And then my family returns and in hour I am stressed, sobbing mess in bed. I don't want to this. I love them to pieces I just wish.. They made my life easier and not the actual opposite. I can't wait to live alone.

[lacking-morals]

Seriously

God, no matter how hard I try, things go to shit. I drink my fucking spinach smoothies, I work out until my knees give out, I do my homework, I rarely drink, I’m quitting smoking, I try to be kind. The universe doesn’t fucking care. If there is a god, he hates me. The odds are never in my favor. I know I shouldn’t be saying that but holy shit, all I wanted was this. I mean thats not true, modeling is what I want the most and thats still in the works- but who knows? Is that next? I have told myself over and over I have to go through all these fucking lows to get to my bright future. I have never let go of that hope, I have never stopped fucking struggling since I was 9. The universe has thrown me isolation, bullying, eating disorders, self hatred, depression, self harm, evil, POSSESSION, YEAH, BECAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE WASN’T ENOUGH, LETS LITERALLY POSSESS ME, HAUNTINGS, so much fucking hurt, so much fucking heart break, and I have never given up. I am strong but I'm so fucking tired of being strong! Give me the light already! Give me my happy fucking ending! Stop taking the life from me, stop crushing my hopes. Where is my happiness? When is it my turn to have fresh air?

I’ve always told myself this is all part of the big picture, but what if this is the big picture?

[love-killed-the-superstar]

I need to watch ergo proxy again but I know I'll cry

the show itself didn't make me cry while I was watching it at the time

but when it was over I just sat and sobbed because it was such a perfect series and there's nothing I would ever do to change it