''a kiss is the beginning of cannibalism''
warnings/themes: slight nsfw (making out + suggestive/explicit language), swearing, mental illness, wlw, not for men, slight angst, mdni 18+
reader is portrayed as: feminine, mentally ill, depressed, dissociative, ignorant (blud does not know whats going on around her). okay so she's essentially a girl failure and a girl kisser.
tags: wlw fic, tashi duncan x fem!reader, challengers.
a/n: i am so sorry if this is an unrealistic portrayal of tashi duncan i haven’t watched challengers in a hot minute. it feels true to me tho. also its a FANfiction!! please enjoyyyy. OH and they were supposed to fuck but i have just found out i don’t like writing IN-DEPTH smut, like the whole continuous descriptions of every little thing they do in it, dykwim? like i am down to write smut drabbles though.
It’s not like you were considered the most joyous creature to grace Stanford’s presence, but an air of concern and judgement has surrounded your being, it may have blended into your shadow, considering how it follows you around everywhere. Whispers, glances cast in your direction, and noticeably lowered tones was a regular occurance for you to experience at this point. It didn’t make you feel anxious anymore, you didn’t get that gnawing feeling in your gut, anxiety seemed like an old friend to you now–one that drifts away when you move away. Melancholia had replaced this former ‘’companion’’, in the same way that anxiety had once met you, by seeping into your brain chemistry and thus depressing all that you do.
Your sorority had dropped you, said you weren’t ‘’socialising enough’’, you didn’t go to parties and fuck frat boys much anymore. You spent most of your free time sitting on your dingy twin-sized bed, legs dangling over the footboard, palms against the mattress and placed beside your thighs, head tilted down to fade in and out of reality gaze at the floorboards of your dorm. Nothing felt clear anymore, that was certain, and even with your long-sighted glasses, you would’ve never been able to see Tashi Duncan coming your way.
Tashi had her eyes on you for a while now, unbeknownst to you, obviously. Your ignorance to her excessively long stares worked to her advantage, classes were spent with her eyes trailing from the professor’s boring slideshows to your back, something that her eyes had become well accustomed to ogling observing. She first noticed you whilst you were sitting in a party’s smoke room with your then-fling, months ago. You look bored out of your mind, an elbow resting on the cigarette burned lounge’s arm, your head leaning into your hand, posture slumped, and eyes looking as glazed-over as ever. Something about your barely-on-earth presence willed in Grand Slam winning tennis player, Tashi-fucking-Duncan. You probably couldn’t give a shit about that anyhow, huh.
Safe to say, Tashi was somewhat elated when you made a mystical appearance at her birthday party, that she had invited you to while you were packing up your stuff for your next class, scaring you at first with her initial greeting. Gosh, you were jumpy, she had internally noted after your shoulders had jolted, and your body turned quickly to face hers. It had been your first face-to-face interaction for a while, you were bound to be a little flinchy, right?
Tashi let out a little snort but apologised anyhow, commenting on how you looked like a ‘’scared little puppy,’’ and then quickly added, ‘’an adorable scared little puppy.’’ Which earned a genuine chuckle from you, it was the first time in months something as rare as laughter had slipped out of your mouth, ‘’I’ve heard worse, I suppose,’’ you had joked, dryly, but the realness in that statement wasn’t lost on either of you.
She then proceeded to invite you to her birthday party, and handed you a tennis-themed invitation with the numbers ‘’19’’ stamped largely on it, which you had pinched out of her hand. You had noticed how it was her serving hand, from all the callouses and scars that decorated it. You shoved the invitation in your pocket and spoke, ‘’I’ll uh… see if I can, thanks,’’ offering her a polite nod and closed-lipped smile before walking out of the classroom.
Tashi stood still, slightly shocked at how you had only simply considered attending her birthday party. It wasn’t like she was an entitled brat, she didn’t expect you of all people to attend social events of those you weren’t close with–or at all–but the girl was used to people fawning over her, cut her some slack! Needless to say, a part of her liked the fact you were… normal about her. However, Tashi was anything but normal about you.
So, remember that invitation, the crinkled one you are currently staring at between your fingertips? Great! Well, something medically insane must’ve happened to you, because you’re going to Tashi Duncan’s 19th birthday party. You couldn’t be bothered to put on a shit-ton of makeup, and a skin-tight dress that would’ve been less than breathable, so you settled on an old, barely-worn cashmere sweater, denim, wide-leg jeans, wedge shoes, and a dainty necklace. You supposed looked presentable, so you shrugged off doing anything more, grabbed your purse, and left your dorm room.
You crossed a few hallways before entering the lion’s den Tashi Duncan’s birthday party! Yay! And were ever so kindly greeted with plenty of gasps and judgemental glances, it nearly made you roll your eyes and find a closet to hide in, until Tashi approached you, a big smile on her lips, as if she was excited to see you. Weird, you didn’t think Tashi was that smiley of a person, it left you reading the expression to filth, searching for any potential snark, but you were cut off by her waving a hand around, trying to get your attention, ‘’hellooo? Anyone home?’’ She joked, with feigned sarcasm.
Your eyes snapped up to meet her slightly feverish gaze, ‘’hey, sorry, yeah, I, uh- didn’t get you a present, sorry,’’ you sounded less than apologetic, but Tashi didn’t care about a present, not when you were here. ‘’Oh, no, don’t worry about that, I only just invited you today,’’ she brushed it off with a wave of her hand. ‘’Did you want a drink? The bar’s just over there-,’’ ‘’I don’t drink.’’ you cut her off, tone dry but not malicious, with a shake of the head. ‘’Oh- that's fine, let me know if you want anything, like a soda, or-’’ ‘’aren’t you supposed to be the birthday girl? Shouldn’t you just… relax, or whatever?’’ You asked, with a slight huff.
Tashi processes this for a minute, her eyebrows slightly furrowed, tongue darting out to meet her bottom lip, then going back to rest on the roof of her mouth. ‘’I mean, yeah, but it’s not like I’m doing this for everyone, y’know?’’ Her head tilts at the last bit of her sentence, forcing your head to lift and eyes to once again meet hers.‘’What could you possibly mean by that?’’ Your dry tone was simultaneously an incredibly desirable and infuriating trait to her, and when met by your subtle glare and naturally bored expression, she wanted nothing more than to fuck you.
‘’Oh, for fuck sake, you know what I mean. I talked to you for the first time today, in like, ever, invited you to my birthday party, and you don’t know what I mean ‘by that’? Are you stupid or just so fucking not-here that you can’t tell that I like you.’’ She had exasperatedly declared her love confession with a large sigh, but her tone wasn’t loud enough for many people to notice, she was careful to not cause a scene, careful to not scare you away. You weren’t easily scared though, jumpy, sure, but you had a talent for causing even the most patient of humankind to erupt in an outburst, and that removes the fear of a harsh word exchange. So, your eyes fluttered open and closed repeatedly as you tried to process this, eyebrows furrowed, and hands raised as if to tell Tashi to slow down.
But, Tashi isn’t a patient person, she doesn’t slow down, the court isn’t the only place she’s fast in. ‘’So? Do you like me too or what? C’mon–just answer, I don’t care what it is but just answer,’’ she impatiently demanded, and a hint of insecurity could be found in her tone. Tashi Duncan was scared. Tashi never had crushes, like, ever, romantic affection was a big no-no unless she was truly playing for keeps or just wanting to get off, otherwise, it was just a big distraction from her self-proclaimed life’s purpose: tennis. So, if Tashi liked you, and was willing to put herself through humiliation via confessing her pent-up romantic attraction towards you, you probably shouldn’t fucking humiliate her.
‘’…Uh, wanna like, make out, or somethin’?’’ you suggested, as if it was the best answer you could provide as you shrug your shoulders. Tashi truly wonders if you died a frat guy, but accidentally got reincarnated into a mentally ill college girl. Tashi gives you an almost disgruntled look before she cuts her own expression off and mutters, ‘’you know what, good enough for me,’’ and practically takes your hand captive before bringing you to an empty room within her friend’s senior dorm.
She shuts the door after you come inside, and instantly slams her lips against yours, her fruity flavoured lip gloss tastes holy on your tongue. However, it might be smart to not attribute Tashi’s own godly doings to her lip gloss, but whatever it is, you’re somewhat alive for the first time in ages, and drowning your tongue in her mouth. Your lips fold into hers as if you’re seeking life support, and Tashi’s lips are the plug, so you make sure you don’t pull away.
Oxygen appears optional to the two of you at this point, an afterthought, especially when your back is now pressed against the wall and Tashi’s hand, the famous serving hand, is firmly placed upon your jaw. Her free arm’s forearm pressed against the area above and slightly to the side of you, and your hands around the curve of her waist.
Nothing has ever felt more pathetic to Tashi Duncan than this moment here, her lips intertwined with yours, and your hands on each other’s skin. You’ll wake up in the morning and move on, and Tashi doesn’t know if she ever will. Shame will linger within Tashi, and you know it too, but fuck it if you actually care. Maybe, if you put people on a pedestal, this moment wouldn’t be just another moment, but you don’t, and Tashi loves and loathes that. Somehow, you’ve become the very thing she hates: a distraction. So, Tashi Duncan will continue to find ins and outs to get you in an empty room with her again, one she knows you’ll be out of in a fucking flash. And thus, a kiss is the beginning of cannibalism.
divider found at: https://pin.it/BzSebfDQn
thank u for reading 😝😼