#sof dear

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I'm glad I'm going out with someone who is just as crazy as me, it makes the freakouts and fangirling easier to deal with and I don't have to explain any of it.

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She then threw me completely by saying "Girlfriend?" as a joke but I got all flustered and stuttery and I think I might have come out to my mum as Bi this week. And it turned into a really fucking awkward conversation because apparently me saying "I don't know." to everything doesn't translate in her mind to "Really don't want to fucking talk about this."  So, she pushed. I somehow told her "I've had a girlfriend before, In school, before Tony, for like 4 months." Just because she goes are you going to the other side? LIke, YES MOTHER THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT'S HAPPENING. NOT LIKE IT'S CONFUSING AND TERRIFYING BUT YES, I AM GOING OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE BECAUSE THEY HAVE BETTER TV SHOWS.  She then asked if that was like what my friends sister did. I think you can all guess she experimented.  No, no it is not an experiment, I did that years ago.  I can barely explain my sexualtiy to myself, and I'm pretty easy to read, so it's not like she couldn't tell I didn't want to talk about it with her just then. But no, had to make me feel guilty by going "I thought we didn't have secrets?"  Which made me feel like shit, like I should tell her everything before I was ready. It's not even like I was hiding anything. The plan was just to wait until me and Sof were more established in our relationship before saying anything. Which is still the plan, except now all she's going to get it "that girl I met, yeah we're a thing. cool, good talk, bye."

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I don't think I've ever been more proud of someone as I am of her today.

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Mission in life is to get Sof to start watching Teen Wolf so I have someone to cry about it with.

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The list of date ideas for me and Sof just gets longer, and longer and more immense by the day.  also when we go to Disneyland we're buying Mouse ears and walking around all day in them okay? Okay.

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Omg, it literally just hit me that 12 Year Old Me's dream of becoming a living breathing McFly song and being a "weirdo with 5 colours in her hair" actually came true.  I mean, technically there are 8 colours in my hair and I'm adding more tomorrow but, I achieved a childhood dream.

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Sof, you need to watch Teen Wolf. Seriously, this show is stealing what little life I had left and I have no regrets. Come join me.

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I'm gonna give you 27 as well, 44, and 55 :D.

Fair enough - 27: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?To not settle for anything less than I deserve and that focussing on myself isn't selfish; it's actually really fucking healthy for my state of mind.

44: Would you consider yourself "romantic"?To an extent I guess? I'm not one for sappy 'grand gestures' but stupid little things, or something unimportant to people on the outside that is actually meaningful make me go all mushy. I also cry at romantic and most disney films all the fucking time. 

55: Would you consider yourself "clingy", "overly attached" or "jealous"?Clingy is the one thing I've never really been, so no for that. I have been overly attached (case in point: my ex boyfriend and how I let myself get back together with him) but I wouldn't consider myself that anymore because, well, lessen well and truly learnt. Jealous is something I can be but I wouldn't call myself a jealous person. It takes an awful lot to get me to that point and it's rare. (Though because this is a Valentines ask meme and I've been single for 4 years next month who fucking knows anymore?)