#soffsh

[shaunamilfman]

Bust out the typewriter let’s get a move on

the concept of being the first person to write jackieshauna x reader smut on a typewriter...

[ultrone]

Do you have any mutuals that are your favorites ?? :)

for sureee, my fav mutuals are @soffsh2 and @shaunamilfman, we made a gc like two months ago and we talk literally every day 😭😭

[shaunamilfman]

Me when wife takes a 6 month hiatus

last post was in August mind you...

[shaunamilfman]

Jackie Taylor with an s/o that plays video games

pre-crash headcanons

Jackie Taylor is for sure a hater of any hobby you have. Why would you want to have a hobby when you could just watch her being pretty?? 

she’d definitely approach this with the intent of getting you to stop playing and pay attention to her at first. she’s laying all over you absolutely astonished that you’re still playing video games while she’s there. You seriously have a pretty girl in your lap and still want to play minecraft?

She’s realizing the error of this plan as you assume she’s interested and start explaining what’s going on in your game. It wasn’t her intention, but she figures at least this way you’re still paying her attention. She’ll get what she can get.

Jackie would end up getting really interested in the story line and would get upset with you if you even thought about playing it without her. she asks you so many dumb questions about game mechanics and makes you go through every single dialog option that it takes you like 40 hours to finish a 20 hour game

Jackie would get really into competitive games on your behalf. like she'd sitting there cheering you on like she's watching a fucking soccer game. Jackie buys you headphones with a mic so she can start shit talking people you play against. she gets really into the spirit of the competition man. 

Jackie talking about you embarrassing her after she shit talked everyone and you died like 3 minutes in lmao. all “how could you do this to me 😔” and shit. i just know Jackie Taylor would be an absolute menace on a mic regardless of if you had the skill to back it up

it's even funnier because she'd be so so bad at it herself. Jackie blows herself up with her own grenade like every time because she hits the wrong button. pouts and gives up after one round. isn't she dreamy?? 🥰🥰

Jackie trying to get into playing games but it's just her running around frolicking in the tall grass and handing you the controller whenever she had to fight someone

speaking of which I just know she went out and bought the pink controller. your black controller was not cute enough for her 

Jackie looks up guides for you whenever you get stuck on something. you think it's sweet but she just gets bored easily

Playing Minecraft with Jackie but all she does is build the house and accidently screw you over. Jackie moves the bed while your gone and completely fucks your spawn point up. Jackie's just like “i wanted to put carpet there 😔” Jackie also dies from falling off the house at some point and is at spawn getting farmed by mobs till you come get her. 

Jackie has you off in the mines for days because she wants an iron block accent wall. she only ever wants the expensive blocks I just know it. she's building your house out of the wood block instead of the planks, and she'll be damned if she's gathering those resources herself

Jackie taking your diamond armor to wear while she builds the house because “it's prettier than iron 🥰🥰.”

You come back from a long day of mining and Jackie wants to show you the heart shaped leaves on the trees that took her an hour to do. 

Jackie's house gets blown up by a creeper and she's beside herself over it I just know it

you make the mistake of showing Jackie the Sims because you think she might like it. she's obsessed immediately. 

she plays it on her regular laptop and it sounds like an airplane taking off 

Jackie has a painstakingly perfect recreation of your place with you guys in it, and she will make this your problem

sim you cheats on sim Jackie and she won't speak to you for days. she texts you a picture of the notification like “wowwwwwww. okay.” it does not matter to her that it was a video game lmaoo

catching Jackie recreating a girl who flirted with you so she can lock her in the pool to drown

Jackie picking your outfit out one day and you're just staring at her suspiciously

"what? 😁" / "these kind of look like the outfits you put us in your game" / "pffff. whattttt?”

you'll fall asleep to Jackie playing it and wake up and she's still there. it gets so bad you and Shauna have to stage an intervention. 

Jackie gets pissed whenever your character can marry/date another character. She found out you married Haley in Stardew Valley and still glares at you whenever she sees a coconut. “why don't you go tell your WIFE 🙄.” my petty queen. 

trying to get Jackie to play a resident evil game but she cries like ten minutes in because she's so stressed/scared from the background noises. three creek floor noises and she's gone. hasn't even gotten in the house yet 

Jackie grows to really love the fact that you have a hobby she can also enjoy/participate in with you. Jackie loves to spend all her time and energy with you, even if you aren't giving her your full attention like she'd prefer. 

Jackie makes you pick all the nice dialog lines because she'll get upset if your character is mean. She has such strong opinions about dialog choices that she'll argue with you for like ten minutes over why you should pick a certain choice even though it has absolutely no impact on the story

Jackie definitely cheats at choice games and knows all the possible consequences for every single choice. you go to steal a candy bar or something and she's like “NOOO!”

slightly unrelated but Jackie would totally pick bae>bay without hesitation. Everyone in the town is dead? small price to pay for lesbians

going feral over the idea Jackie Taylor sitting across your lap scrolling on Pinterest while you have your arms around her holding the controller as you play

[shaunamilfman]

Imagining locker room sex w Jackie. You get tossed early into the game because of a misconduct game penalty after being hit to the ground and you of course lose your shit on the ref and get thrown out for the game. After your coach screams at you, you’re sent to the locker room to get dressed and nurse your head that slammed into the ground. Until Jackie interrupts you, that is. Jackie comes in and absolutely LAYS into you, going on about how you’re throwing the game for the rest of the team and not to be so pigheaded. You try to explain yourself, “Well you saw what that Emerson girl did—“ “I dont care what THEY did, YOU have to learn to keep your composure, like seriously y/n—.” Jackie was getting up in your face, god she’s so loud and bossy. You need her to just shut up, your head is already killing you.

Jackie hears her back hitting the lockers before she processed what happened. She takes in your position, one hand held gently over her mouth and the other hand, the one that pushed her into the lockers, on her shoulder. Your face is inches away, as you speak quietly to her, “You really need to know when to stop talking, pretty girl.” Jackie can’t help but melt immediately as you start to gently pull away. The one hand on her shoulder, dropping to hold her at her hip. “Now, don’t you have a team that you need to get back to, captain?” You tilt your head. Jackie’s eyes are blown wide as she looks at you. “No… I don’t” Jackie is absolutely only focused on you at that point, she’s sure the girls could manage without her for a few minutes.

Jackie returns to the soccer game 15 minutes later, her hair messier than it was when she went into the locker rooms, her neck littered with new bruises and her legs a little wobbly under her as she runs. She caught glimpses of you eyeing her from the bench as she tries to rejoin the game, a smirk on your face as you tease her by sucking the rest of her, off of your fingers.

i have nothing to add to this masterpiece. this is what a true artist looks like. i feel like i just took notes on it lmao but here

something about jackie trying to get in your face like she isn't 3 apples tall never fails to make me laugh

i really think bossy captain jackie should have been explored more in canon there is so much potential for her to be a fucking brat that they just wasted

i just know that jackie loves to be pushed around. like just move her around and position her like she weighs nothing. it gets her going every time. also pet namesssssss. she's such a sucker for pet names, especially pretty girl.

jackie abandoning her team to get fucked i know thats right. thinking about teasing jackie for how desperate she is for it when she came in there all big and bad to tell you off.

you're all like "why should i behave if this is what i get when i lose my cool?" she's too distracted by the way your touching her but she gets so annoyed when she's thinking about it later. she tells you off for it after your next practice while secretly hoping you put her in her place again.

jackie would so trip watching you clean your fingers off. she wipes the fuck out on her own feet and everyones like "jackie? do you need to sit down?" and shes like "NO." she'd literally die if she had to sit next to you right now

she spends the whole night thinking about the way you sucked your fingers, wondering if you liked the way she tastes. she's so embarrassed about it, but she can't help the way the very thought makes her squirm.

[shaunamilfman]

Jackie can’t handle herself when she gets the slightest bit horny. If she wakes up from a single wet dream, she needs you immediately, even if its 4 am and you’re asleep next to her, she will scoot right next to you and straddle your leg, slowly trying to start waking you up. She’ll start with slow kisses on your lips, cheek, and jawline but as she gets more impatient she’ll move to sucking hickeys onto your neck while grinding herself down onto your leg to get a little bit of friction going. When you finally wake up, you’re confused cause it’s pitch black, you feel some weight on your leg and all you can hear are Jackie’s little pants of breath. You start to slowly realize the situation as Jackie takes notice that you’re finally awake. She says “Thank god you’re finally up, please just—” she’s so desperate at this point that she grabs your hand and puts the in her pajama shorts that she’s already soaked through. If you even take a second too long to process, she’s already rocking herself on your fingers because she’s already been “sooooo patient” and she couldn’t wait anymore. She’ll remove her hand from her own shorts and grab your shoulder for leverage, and she’s clutching so hard that there are going to be nail marks on your shoulder and back. She’ll keep leaning down to capture your lips in a kiss that has her moaning in the back of her throat. And she’s definitely a little bossy because of how worked up she is, she’ll move your other hand to wherever she wants it and holds it in place there, on her waist, her neck, her chest. While she holds your hand against her. it sends her over the edge, her movement on your hand stutters and slows until she collapses on your chest in exhaustion. After a moment of silence between you two you ask, “Another sex dream?”, Jackie nods against your chest in response. “Okay well you’re not falling asleep now, because I’m awake, I’m sure you could take a second round.”

You both end up missing your first period of school the next morning, and half of the 2nd.

i don't have much to say im just gonna do commentary this was good as hell bro

desperately needy jackie i know that's right

poor pillow princess jackie having to do some of the work herself

i'm imagining jackies reaction to you doing that thing where your like half asleep and are like "im up im up" but fall asleep immediately. she almost cries tears of frustration

needy jackie using you to get herself off has me 😵‍💫😵‍💫

oh jackie definitely needs a second round the poor baby had to do all the work. maybe even a third one.

also im imagining her dream is something fucking ridiculous that only she would find hot. you ask her what it's about and shes just all shy about it lmaooooo. like her ass didn't wake you up with your hand down her shorts

okay okay but alsooooo. consider waking up before jackie while she's having a wet dream. you're woken up by her shifting against you in her sleep. you spooning her with one arm over her so you definitely notice as she starts moving against you. she's doing it unconsciously, groaning slightly in her sleep. thinking about slipping your hand in her shorts and not even moving it. she just starts softly shifting her hips against it as her dream gets better. her breathing quickens up as she wakes up and you just immediately start moving your hand, fucking her awake. she immediately gets all whiny, still half asleep, but she can't help but rock her hips against your hand. telling her you won't let her finish unless she tell you what she was dreaming abouttttt.

[shaunamilfman]

Jackie first met you when she rushed into the college athletic trainers office to grab ice for her teammate, who didn’t get her hands up in time and took a soccer ball straight to the head. Being a Freshman, she wasn’t the most acquainted with being in that office or who the trainers were, but when she saw you she knew she had to make FREQUENT stops in. She stood there stuttering for a moment while looking at you, before she found her words and just shouted, “ICE!?” With some haste you went to the ice machine and grabbed her a bag, filling it and handing it to the girl, who responds even less gracefully with “Thanks, her face needs this!” Before running back to the field, hitting herself the entire way for not being smoother but at least she had a plan in mind.

She made herself a patient at the office very often, looking up every possible injury she could fake, that would land her in just enough ‘pain’ to get you to help her roll out or give her a muscle massage, WITHOUT ending up with someone calling an ambulance for her. And she ended up back in the office today, with her most flattering biker shorts and a ‘pulled hamstring’ that she just absolutely NEEDED your help with. However, catching you, in the empty room, while you were doing a workout of your own had unexpected consequences, Jackie had found.

After having you do all the ‘hands on’ work you normally do, you start to question why Jackie isn’t as talkative today, as she crosses and uncrosses her legs while sitting in the chair getting ready for her ice and stim. “Jackie, what’s up with you today, you’re super quiet?” you ask as you put the pads on her thigh, she has to suppress a whimper as her mind flashes with images of how you looked bench pressing, when she walked in earlier. “No reason.” She forces out through gritted teeth as she presses her thighs together. It was only then, while your hands were on the exposed skin of her thighs, that you noticed the wet mark, now present on Jackie’s shorts. Now all the instances of her asking you to lift her onto the table because her “knee hurt her far too much” for her to try herself or her flirting with you as you held her legs to roll them out, made a lot of sense.

no because jackie falling in love at first sight will never not be canon to me. i just know that she was considering keeping the bag of ice and was low key possessive of it when she had to give it to her team mate because you gave it to her. 100% considered grabbing the bag after the other girl was done with it because it was a gift. shes such a loser (affectionate)

jackie berating herself the whole way back for having the least smooth first meeting ever. she spends the entire walk back thinking about all the things she should have said instead. convinced she'd make a note on her phone full of flirty lines that she looks at right before she stops back in the office, but her mind goes blank every single time. she goes back into her room and screams into her pillow so often that her room mate is getting concerned about her lmao

jackie ignoring your advice about possibly getting inserts for her shoes because obviously somethings wrong if she keeps 'twisting' her ankle like this all the time. she's all "mhm, totally. 😍"

jackie showing up in her most flattering outfit, a face full of makeup, her best smelling perfume, and her hair freshly washed and styled.

jackie bites her lip so hard she nearly draws blood trying not to whine and moan while you touch her i just know it. you're giving her a massage and your thumb presses in just the right way and jackie gasps as she grabs at your wrist. she keeps glancing back and forth between your face and your hand and flushes bright red as she stutters out an apology. you're thinking you hurt her so you're like "was that too rough?" and her mind has gone straight to the gutter. she's done for, truly.

thinking about the absolutely mortified look on jackie's face when you catch sight of how wet she is. she's so embarrassed she can't even speak, eyes shut tightly so she doesn't have to see the look on your face.

you pause at the sight, considering her for a moment as your world view flips. yeah, you can work with this. you don't say anything at first, but you do make sure to spend extra time carefully applying the electrodes. you have to make sure the adhesive sticks, don't you? maybe you spend more time than you need to rubbing your thumb across the edges, but that's your business.

jackie's more than a little humiliated by the time she can leave, but she knows from the the smug look on your face that she'd come crawling right back if she had to. as she finally gets to the sanctuary that is her empty dorm room she glances down at the instructions you gave her to find your phone number written down at the bottom. she had something she desperately needed to take care of now that her dorm room would be empty for a few hours, but after that she'd definitely move to phase 2 in her seduction plan (she thinks she was sooo subtle about it lmaoo)

[shaunamilfman]

It’s been so long since I’ve sent an ask in, i fear the kids will think we’re in a divorce. So today I came to offer up a situation I believe in 1000%.

Jackie Taylor in college not knowing how to flirt with women, so whenever she meets you for the first time she doesn’t know how to talk to you. She ends up buying those stupid men’s pickup artist CDs, the like late 2000s type. She believes it completely and thinks that this is how you get girls and buys like the whole box set. It comes with douche clothes, a small notebook of pickup lines and a huge textbook along with like 10 CDs. Literally any normal person would know these lines and tactics would absolutely not work, but she’s convinced herself. So she tries approaching you in a bar and when you don’t follow the script that the pickup artist said you’d respond with, she gets nervous. She pulls out and skims through the pages of a huge book that in VERY bold letters on the front reads, ‘HOW TO GET WOMEN’

She eventually gives up on the textbook after she sees the weird look you gave her upon seeing it. Just ends up taking a bar napkin and writing “Do you like me?” With 2 options below that read “Yes” and “YES”. She’s looking at you like she’s so proud of herself that you cant help but circle the option in all caps. (She thinks that means you’re dating, immediately)

excellent ask as always bro. feels like we haven't spoken in soooo long. waiting by the window for my husband to come home from war. checking the post office every day for one mere letter from the front lines 😔

the way that little book is the only thing jackie's taking notes on before she got to college. she bombed her first exam and is like "omg how do you study in college???" and then looked at her 10 pages of notes from "chicks 101" and a lightbulb lit up

jackie has the best pickup lines written down and her phone and keeps checking the notes app as shes walking towards you (walks into a pole). forgets them immediately the second she starts talking to you (you talked first and she forgot what she crammed) but refuses to admit it and tries it anyways. completely flips the line around. like "you're the only ten i see, are you from tennessee?" and immediately winces.

screams into her pillow atleast once a week. did not realize that flirting with girls would be so fucking hard. no one tells you this thing. she almost misses when she thought she was straight. the shit was soooo easy. she's so good at flirting with boys that she's still pulling them without even trying.

also jackie for fucking sure memorizes how she wants conversations to go in general when she's nervous about something i feel and the second someone goes off script she's like "hold on now". has to schedule a doctors appointment for the first time and they ask her a question she didn't have written down and she hangs up (they needed her middle name. she makes shauna call them from rhode island lmaoo.).

peering over jackie's shoulder and she's got 20 tabs open all along the lines of "how to kiss", "how to tell her i like her", "how to flirt with women when you look straight", "how to be her friend in a gay way", "lesbian. girl pretty. help"

jackie does NOT believe in situationships. what do you mean you're not in love with her??? you went on three dates?? she secretly sprayed her perfume on your pillow when you were in the bathroom and everything. yahoo answers swore it would make you fall in love with her

side note jackie immediately hard launches you after one date. queen. writing mrs jackie taylor in all her notebooks for sure. calling shauna up like "i found the one" and shaunas like "...where is she from?". "unimportant. anyways so on our date..."

you see a no faintly written under a shit ton of eraser marks before she changed her mind and wrote another yes. (was nervous about giving you the option lmaooo)