Crawling back to you
Carmen Berzatto x Reader
Chapter 1. What the Summer Brought Back
Word count: 1.3k
Content warning: Carmen Berzatto x fem!reader, cowboy!Carmy, enemies to lovers, hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, slow burn, cursing, mutual pining, eventual smut.
a/n: So this came out of many conversations with @ariiireads as well as several videos related to cowboys and i needed this au so i leave it here for yall to enjoy! English isn't my first language and it's the first fic I've ever written so excuse me if there are any mistakes.
Summary: Every year led you back here — to laughter, and people who felt like home. But this time, things feel different. Especially when the past shows up again. You weren’t epecting to see him. Not after everything. Not like this. But Berzatto Ridge has always had a way of stirring up what you thought was buried, old feelings, old fights, and a blue eyed cowboy you never quite forgot.
It didn’t matter the season, at least twice a year, you had to be here, in this beautiful place you called your second home, and this year wasn’t the exception.
When Sugar called you, asking about your plans for this summer, and then invited you to spend the summer, of course, you said yes. You hadn't really thought about your plans, and if you had, they weren't as important as the invitation from your best friend.
Yes, she was a little older than you, like Mikey and Richie. The only one who was close to your age was Carmen, with only three years of difference, but it meant nothing. Even with the age gap between most of you, it was never an impediment for y'all to have fun, and it was always nice having older friends to talk to, people who had already been through what you were feeling, who knew what kind of advice to give.
As soon as the car stopped, you felt it, the mixture of being nervous and excited at the same time. You stepped out, boots meeting earth. The air hit your nose with a wave of nostalgia, memories of old laughter, young love, and small-town drama.
After all this time, there it was, the same big sign at the front gates, Berzatto Ridge, wood darkened by sun and time, a crooked sign at the front gates that was maybe carved by hand many years ago.
You couldn’t help but smile when you saw the big, rustic, timeless house. The wooden porch, wide enough for rocking chairs and new memories. To the right, the horse corrals came into view and a little further, the barn.
You stepped into the house, the smell of cinnamon and old wood reached your nostrils, you sighed and felt that somehow you belonged here. Everything was silent, a little weird for this place, you remembered the house as anything but silent.
“Where is everyone?“
“They must be in town, there’s a rodeo tonight at the county fair, bull riding, eight seconds and barrel racing, the whole thing.” Sugar answered
Ah, the county fair. Hearing the name brings so many memories, you sneaking with the siblings and your friends. Eating cotton candy until your belly hurts. Watching bull riders ride the wild bulls and naive cowboys trying to stay on a horse for more than eight seconds just to win a belt buckle.
“Do you feel like going?“ You muttered.
“I don’t, but Mikey said that they had a surprise for us so maybe we should go. But if you are too tired from the road we can stay, I'm sure they’ll understand- “
“We should go” - you interrupted her - “ it’ll be good to get some fresh night air, besides, I miss those nights and I'm really craving cotton candy.
It was already dark, and the moon was up. You and Nat arrived a few moments ago. You were looking for the boys until you heard Mikey’s loud, wheezy laugh, followed by Richie’s dramatic cackle and some guy yelling “Shut the hell up, you two!”
You turn your head, you see them.
“No fuckin’ way,”
Mikey’s voice cuts through the noise,
“That’s not-hey, HEY. Look who the fuck it is!”
Before you can react, he’s already jogging toward you, arms wide, eyes wide like he just saw a ghost he's fond of.
“What the hell, you didn’t tell us you were comin’!” - he says as he wraps you in the kind of hug that squeezes your ribs.
“I wanted to surprise you, guess it worked,” Sugar mutters as you laugh into his shoulder.
Richie appears, stepping around Mikey and pulling you in for a quick, rough hug that smells like beer and whatever the hell Richie always smells like.
“You look good. You look grown. You look taller—are you taller?” - “She’s not taller, dumbass, she’s wearin’ boots.” - Mikey says, pointing at your pretty boots.
“Don’t get soft on us now,”
Richie mutters, trying not to grin.
“You’re one to talk. You nearly cried when you saw me last Christmas.”
“Shut up, I had allergies.”
“It was December.”
“Yeah, and??”
Gosh, how you missed this, the dumb conversations with Richie, going shopping with Nat, feeding the horses with Mikey, but someone something is missing. Mikey pulls back just enough to look at you. There’s warmth in his eyes, but also something quieter.
“Missed you, kid. Place wasn’t the same without your loud ass yellin’ at all of us.”
You swallow hard.
“Missed you guys too.”
Before you could say something else, Richie says with a grin of amusement on his face.
“So… you seen him yet?”
“Who?” you said confused.
Mikey just smirks and says - “You know who... now hurry cuz it’s ‘bout to start”
And before you could process what these two just said you heard it on the speaker, the sharp call of the announcer’s voice bouncing through the night air. And that’s when realization hits you.
“Next up... from Bear Valley, Carmen Berzatto, hometown boy ridin’ Thunderstrike. Let’s see if he can hold for eight! “
“Surprise, bears!” Mikey says, referring to the surprise he told Sugar about and you both assumed it was this.
You freeze. And then you see him. He was wearing a blue plaid shirt rolled to the elbows. It matched his big blue eyes, ugh, those big blue eyes that you hadn’t seen in a while. He wore dark jeans, fitting him a little too well, that thick belt buckle with something engraved on it. Of course he has his hat and gloves on, and the boots that Mikey gave him for his 18th birthday. You notice that his hair is longer and even curlier.
And when he looks up for just a second, just one, he swears he saw you right in the crowd. That's when he gets tossed, the crowd gasps, your heart drops. He lands hard. He rolls, gets up on one knee, shakes it off. Then stands and when he takes his hat off, his eyes find yours, realization hitting him, you weren’t his imagination, you were there. And right then Mikey’s already halfway over the fence, jumping into the arena.
“Jesus Christ, Carmy!- What the hell was that? You tryin’ to die out here in front of her??” Carmy’s breathing heavy, brushing dirt off his jeans, still dazed.
“I didn’t know she was gonna be here,” He mutters, voice rough from dust and adrenaline.
“You sure 'bout that?”
Mikey gives him a look. That big brother, all-knowing look.
“’Cause you rode like your whole life depended on whether she saw you or not.”
Carmy exhales hard, running a gloved hand through his sweat-soaked curls.
“You think she did?”
“She’s here, ain’t she?”
And Richie, from outside the fence, yells:
“YOU OWE ME FIFTY BUCKS, BERZATTO. I BET YOU’D EAT DIRT TRYNA LOOK COOL.”
Carmy just shakes his head, staring across the crowd. At you.
“Why is Carmen doing this?” Sugar asks, looking with disapproval at Richie.
“He lost a bet and now he’s doin’ the punishment” The oldest sibling explains.
“When did he get back?” You mutter.
The truth is that you hadn’t seen Carmen years ago, not since the fight. He wasn’t here last Christmas and every time you were at the Ridge after the disagreement he just wasn’t there. When you were here for summer, his sibling said that he wanted to spend that season in the city so he lived with their cousin Michelle. When you were here in autumn, they said that their mother sent him to the Meadows Ranch so he could learn more and properly help at the Ridge. And this time you weren’t expecting him to be here.
“Six months ago, the day after you left” Richie says.
Six months ago, isn't that funny? It was clear that he didn't want to see you but if anyone's fault the fight was, it was his!
“Speaking of the devil-” Richie says, watching the brothers walking towards you.
He’s standing there, dirt still on his boots, sweat drying on his neck, hat in his hand, and those eyes.
“Didn’t think I’d see you here,” He says finally, voice low.
“Yeah. I could say the same thing.”
“Didn’t fall on purpose.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
Silence but not the empty kind. He steps closer, just one step.
“You look different,” He says, scanning your face as if it were the last time he’ll ever look at you.
“So do you.”
“Worse?”
“Better.”
“Bullshit.”
“That's worse.”
He laughs, a nervous laugh. You both are blushing, you shouldn’t have said that but none of you know what to say. Five years passed, no text, no birthday call, nothing, what the hell were you supposed to say?
Richie’s voice from the side gets you out of that haze of awkwardness.
“OKAAAYY seems like you have a lot to catch up, do you want us to leave you alone or-? ” He gets interrupted by Sugar.
“Shut up, Richie. It’s late, we should get going back to the Ridge”
Mikey’s behind him, grinning like an idiot.
I'm happy no one got punched today but, well, you look like you were.” Mikey says with a smirk pointing at Carm’s split lip and probably sore back.
The ride was silent and when everyone noticed that, the jokes and comments started to flow. They were mainly Mike and Richie telling you about the bet or commenting about how Carm would’ve done to win.
“Only 3 seconds more, bro. Still, you had a high punctuation.”
“Better luck next time” That was all you said in the car, not that you had something else to say.
When you got to the Ridge you saw your luggage still at the entryway, the same spot you used to leave them when you were a kid. Guess you got distracted talking to Nat and you forgot to take them to your room.
Richie clocks it immediately.
“So.. Bear’s not even gonna offer to carry her bags now? Damn, chivalry’s dead.”
Mikey jumps in.
“I saw him carry a calf across the field last week but three bags are too much?”
Carmen just glares.
“She has hands.” He says.
“Yeah, and so do you, Cowboy Ken.” Richie teases.
You smirk.
“It’s fine, I got it.” You mutter.
“No, no,” Mikey puts a hand on Carmy’s shoulder. “Let him. It’s tradition now.”
He doesn’t say anything when Mikey makes the comment.
He huffs. Picks up the bag. Doesn’t look at you. Doesn’t say anything. But his ears? Bright red. Of course he was gonna carry your bags because after all it’s you and because he’s afraid that if you left them for too long someone else was gonna pick them up for you.
And then he hears Mikey again, low and teasing.
“Look at that. Like clockwork.”
Richie’s laughing behind him. You’re quiet.
He doesn’t turn around when he climbs the stairs. You don’t think. You just move. By the time you realize what you’re doing, your boots are already creaking up the stairs behind him. Carmy hears it, you know he does, his back stiffens slightly. He sets your bag down gently, like it might break, then he turns with arms crossed, hat now in one hand, hair a mess, lip still bleeding a little.
“Didn’t know I was getting a chaperone.”
You lean in the doorframe.
“Didn’t know you were still such an asshole.”
He smiles. Barely.
“Yeah? well, I’ve changed since you left”
“Guess I was never going to find out about that”
“You talk like I never wanted to be here”
“Didn’t look like you were forced to leave”
The silence was worse this time.
“I didn’t think you’d show up here, honestly.” You said quietly.
“Why? Scared I’d ruin your cowgirl image?”
“No. I just figured you forgot.”
He doesn’t talk back because anything he says now might come out wrong, or worse, true.
“Thanks for carrying the bags.”
“Yeah. Don’t expect it again.”
You see him walking in your direction and just when he is about to leave he stops.
“You still wear that perfume?”
“Why?” You ask back.
“'Cause it’s fucking with my head.”
He didn’t stutter, he didn’t look at you, he just walked away and you watched him leave, again.
The hours passed, you couldn’t sleep. And you couldn’t help but wonder what was going to happen in these three months. You weren’t sure if anything important was planned for your future but you were sure that there were going to be plenty of good times this summer.
It’s funny how you couldn’t stop thinking about it, and you couldn’t stop thinking about Carmen Berzatto either, his piercing blue eyes, his denim jeans, his blonde curls and his not so nice comments.
You never saw him looking directly at you but you’d be lying if you were saying that you didn’t feel him staring right at your soul when you weren’t looking. You don’t know why he said what he said but it was definitely messing with your head now too.
