What if Kirk had a tail
I look at dog, and his tail wags. I think to myself, there's no hiding how you guys feel, is there? And then I think...what if Kirk went on a mission and somehow accidentally acquired a tail (come on, stranger things have happened). Some dogs wag so hard their whole butt wiggles. Can you imagine, before they manage to fix it, he's on some other mission, and Spock's saying something, idk what, anything, and everyone turns to Kirk because he's suddenly vigorously wiggling while his tail is practically pummelling the people either side of him. Or they're on a video call with some admiral or diplomat, and someone praises Spock, or Spock says something about science or Spock is just Spock and there's this *thud thud thud* *BANG BANG BANG* that starts up. And everyone has to quickly avoid being near Kirk when Spock's around, because even Spock so much as looking at Kirk will set it off...except poor Chekov, who sadly can't avoid being in range when Kirk drifts over to his favourite spot on the bridge, and keeps having to go to sickbay for getting a dead arm