Worship
Bakugou x femreader
Warnings: nudity (no sexy times), loathing and body image issues, anexity, swearing, fluff, body worship.
Words: 3400
This was meant to be a crack fic but it turned into angst with an ending of fluff. Bakugou being body conscious and insecure, I find, is total plosible so here’s this work talking about that.
A coil of uncertainty bubbled Katsuki's gut and his fingers squeezed the off button on his phone, readjusted his clothes, and then changed his seated position on his cushioned dorm bed. He abandoned his phone by placing it far away and the proceeded to busy himself with another assignment he couldn't focus on. His mind kept flipping back to the photo he sent, the sudden worry in his mind shaft led him, but he couldn’t stop from wondering what her reaction would be. The photo, he reasoned, was not to reveling, just a picture of him posing with his shirt off and low waisted sweats. His thoughts continued to swirl like a whirlpool, the two lovers had been together for three years now and their admiration for one another roared hotter than anyone could deny, but again these toxic thoughts made every unlikely probability a reality.
“Dammit Katskui, the hell is wrong with you?” The powerful young hero scolded himself, his blond brows furrowed painfully, his cherry eyes bored into an unseen object before him. She's the one who should have this nervous, embarrassed, tingly feeling, not him. A gasp recked him throat suddenly, his face hot and his palms ring together in an uncharacteristically worries way. These ideas angered him and his aggression turned into erratic actions, his growling didn’t stop as he threw his shirt off with gratuitous force against a wall and placed his destructive hands on his defined hips, his scowling reflection in his mirror glaring back at him. He raised his arms and locked his fingers over his nape, his muscled physique being subconsciously scrutinized by his cherry eyes. His gaze rolled over his toned arms that destroyed giant boulders and crushed any competition, he flexed and watched the muscle sense. Then his eyes moved to his pecs and upper rib age, both defined, strong, and could easily complete the most challenging tasks. He recalled his two favorite activities he used his muscles arms for, those being picking his girlfriend up to embarrass her or absolutely demolishing his opponents. His abs came into view next, and he was especially proud to have them, they made him feel powerful and seemed to show off that feeling absently to others, especially his girlfriend. His ego never failed to grow when he would hear her gawking over him to the other members of the class.
However, as his hands trailed over his arms and stomach, a stunning dark feeling started to seep into his head. Instead of power and confidence, his body morphed in the mirror’s reflection into one made of flaws in every inch of skin. A portion here was not as toned as he wanted, this part not strong enough, this bit held more fat that he thought acceptable, maybe he would just skip dinner and workout an extra hour instead. A final and incredibly debilitating thought recked his psyche, what if (Y/N)’s attraction to him was just a false way of keeping him happy. That thought made his body jerk and his heart freeze, his hands slowly swept up to grip his arms, nails digging into the hard muscle, while his garnet colored eyes darted with his self poisoning thoughts. Maybe when she said he was amazing she actually thought he was pathetic enough to warrant her sympathy. Maybe when she talked to him it was out of pity, or perhaps when she said she loved him it was only a way to spare him from her true feelings. She probably couldn't stand him, he was to hideous for her affection and he didn't deserve any of it.
His chest tightened at these thoughts and he shut his eyes so tight it hurt, his intimidating body crumpled into itself.
A ping from his bed made his head snap to the side and he scrambled to grab his phone, his mouth ran dry and he hesitated to look at the screen. Gaining enough courage to spare a glance, he saw it was just a text from Kirishima, not her. His mind yelled at him again for being so stupidly worried about what she had to think of him, but when those thoughts resurfaced all logical reasoning were totem away from his rationale. Another ping.
His cherry eyes widened in realization, his dread and concern spiked before he read the message.
'Danm Katsuki'
What the fuck did that mean? Was it a good thing or did she mean it in a fed up or annoyed way? He chewed his lip and contemplated the message but his thumb scrolled up to the recently sent picture absentmindedly. This mistake caused the blond’s mind to wander dangerously close to a deep dark abyss that would suffocate every ounce of self worth he had. Katsuki's eyes looked over the picture and scowled deeply. Everything he saw screamed idiocy and flaws that were so glaring and so bright that the initial meaning of teasing behind the photo was lost. Why did he choose to take the picture from above? Did he have to make his pants so saggy the picture showed off his V line? God he looked just...disgusting. In reality the photo was flawless and showed off each point that made the new fangirls that swarmed Katsuki swoon, but to Katsuki is just showed off just a pathetic excuse for a hero.
The spiraling void of self deprecation that Katskui began to wallow in was halted when he heard the front door of the dorms open, the familiar shouting of the other students greeting one another and her familiar voice was heard, Katskui shot up and ripped open the door and peered down the stairwell to see (Y/N) coming in the door, damp hair and towel in hand and a smile on her face which made the sparkle in her eyes brighter. Katsuki's eyes looked over her person and found so many beautiful features that made his heart flutter each time to witnessed their incredulous individualities. A small sigh left Katsuki and his frown became a tight line as the women bid her goodnights to the class of UA. She locked eyes with him and smiled before making her way to Katsuki, he merely shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants and furrowed his brows, but his eyes held a affectionate kindness towards her.
"Hey dumbass, how was training?" His tone made a loving warmth spread over her chest, curt and blunt was his normal around most, but it was his question that caught her off guard. He would ask those simple questions but the way his body held itself, cold and away, made her fill with worry.
"Whats wrong? What happened?" She fervently asked and saw the growing dark gloom of sadness creep into his eyes and he looked away. She quickly grabbed his hand, and in rapid succession she pulled him upstairs, ignored the wolf whistles from the passerby, unlocked her door and sat him on the foot of her bed. She tried to turn his head to look at her but when that didn't work she settled to pry open his knees and kneel between them, his face cupped in her warm palms. His eyes pricked faintly with forcibly held back tears, and the tension all over him made her worry grow.
"Katsuki, my love, what's wrong? Did someone do something?" He pressed his face into her palms and let the tears dampen her sweet skin, he hated to cry and he hated letting her see him cry. Her worry became fear and she quickly scooped him into a tight hug, his face buried into her shoulder, taking in the addicting smell of her body wash. His hands gripped the fabric of her shirt at her back, and pressed his entire body into her's. Those thoughts of him being pathetic, of him being worthless, of him being just a stupid idiotic fool filled his ears and seemed to drown out the world. His head pounded and his body began to tremble, his vision became blurry and suddenly his body felt it would break upon any contact. She realized his panic attack and with all her strength she hauled him up, flipped them over so she was laying on her back, and pressed his head into her chest so her heart beat was in his ears instead of those killing thoughts. He wrapped his arms around her so his face was pressed into that special curve of her neck, her legs rose up to settle him between her thighs while her feet hooked around his calves. One hand rested on his back rubbing circles and the other rested on the back of his head slowly moving through the blonde threads. She cooed in his ear soothing whispers and let him lay there for an uncounted amount of time, slowly they both drew silent. No outside force disturbed them, not even the wind which howled outside dared to break the sound of their breathing and the two heart beats, one calm and steady and the other sporadic. She let him break the silence.
"Why do you stay with me?" She let him lament for a moment, her eyes looking to the ceiling and slowly blinking. Their intertwined selves shifted so he could look up to her contemplating face. Upon seeing her contemplation his heart sank, he felt more pathetic sobs and cried swell but hands came to run a warm touch up his sides and to his shoulders.
"Now why would you think that? I love you. I adore you in so many ways that being away from you makes me feel terrible." His brows furrowed and he jerked his head to the side, hot tears streaming and a pain built behind his eyes from trying not to cry and he pulled away.
"Do you really mean that or do you just say that so you don't hurt my feelings or whatever dumb shit you do?" She sighed and an understandingly small line of a smile passed her mouth, him lashing out was expected and she took such insults with a grain of salt. His legs straddled her hips and his fists clenched around his sides, his body began to tense again as his blond band covered his teary red eyes.
" I mean come on. You and everyone else say I'm so fucking amazing but what if...what if I don't believe that..what if it isn't true and I'm just some stupid, pathetic fucking bitch that can’t do anything.” It was although her own thoughts and feelings seemed to be taking a physical form and painting an accurate picture of what she looked like when she to felt the way he did currently. No words could cut through the haze his mind was in, so actions would have to be the driving force behind what she would do next to help her love. She lifted up and wrapped her arms around his neck, placing long kisses to his shoulder then up to his forehead, she repeated the action until each inch of the other shoulder was covered in her kisses.
"You're beautiful." She whispered against his ear lobe and he turned his head farther away, but the chest shaking sobs stopped and some of his mounting tension broke.
"Shut up." He slowly and softly wrapped his arms around her neck and she moves her hands to embrace his torso, their holds firm and unwavering.
"But you are and you know that. We both know how amazing you are Katsuki and it's ok that you feel this way sometimes but you can't wallow in it." She pulled back so he could move his head from her neck and look into her two shining eyes he lost himself in time and time again.
"And I'm here to. I'll always tell you just how much I love you and how incredible I think you are." Her following smile could outshine the sun and the love she poured over the blond made his heart convulse in a happy flutter.
"You mean it dumbass?" He barely spoke and watched her nod with total certainty, he huffed a embarrassed laugh. Tears began to fall again and he held her in a bone bending hug, his hands gripping her back and her arms gently cradling him.
"What got you this way hmm? You haven't felt like this since All Mights's retirement." Katsuki nestled closer and breathed deeply, her warm sent driving negativity from his being and replacing it with that soothing encompassing feeling of being truly loved.
"That stupid picture I sent you. The more I looked at it, the more my thoughts got to me. I started to just see the flaws and well.." She shushed him and whispered her understanding through the gentle caress of he cheek as she kissed away his tears. What he felt was all to familiar to her and when she felt this way he was always there to help her, now it was her turn to bring him up from such self hatred. She pulled completely away, Katsuki's body warmth missed, but she fixed her gaze to one of command and drew herself up.
"Clothes off and lay down." The blond turned redder than before, his slightly red puffy eyes widened and he hesitated, but her hand on his told him it was ok. His mind told him to reject her command, but his heart swayed knowing what she was doing was going to help, weather that be giving him pleasure or something else. However, showing off all those things he saw earlier to the one he loved most, the one who could break him so easily was going to see those disgusting faults and problems that he couldn't fix right then and now. She's going to take one look and confirm all he saw and-
"Katsuki, it's ok. Listen to me. Block out those thoughts about yourself because right now they’re killing you and I just want to show you how much I love you." She was right, as per usual, but each second the blond took to take the shirt he was wearing off made his stomach drop. His bare chest was visible, he subconsciously moved his front away from her eyes, but she guided him to turn and lay down in his back. She threw her top away as well, leaving both their chests completely exposed and a deep blush coated both their cheeks, but the air wasn't sexual. It held a deep rooted understanding and acceptance towards one another that was emphasized through the physical skin on skin contact she provided by pressing their chests together.
"No matter what you do or where you go I'll still be here, to love and support you. Got it? Cause you're never getting rid of me idiot." His chest vibrated from the small laugh he gave as she rises his hand and kissed each finger tip down to the palm and then moved to the other, giving the same slow loving treatment.
"These hands, both calloused yet caring I can always count on to hold me, to protect me, to comfort me." She moved her kiss to his wrists and forearms while her other hand moved over his heart and pressed down to feel the slow beat, it had become calmer and settled from its previous chaotic pattern. His eyes watched each move of her's and noticed how her body looked beautiful against his. His thoughts became dagger sharp when she touched his upper arm, a place which was heavily scrutinized by himself, but she noticed his small jerk away and planted a deep kiss to the area.
"These arms could life mountains and crush any foe. They could carry me where I go and embrace me in my deepest woes, and not only do I adore them but I also know you are proud of them. They fit you well, strong, good looking, and capable." She kisses the inner bicep sweetly before moving to the tricep, doing the same to the other before opening her eyes to lock into his.
"Your arms, Katsuki are not the only thing that matters. They are gorgeous but so are you entirely, so you better not be thinking negatively about yourself otherwise I’ll be pissed.” He smiled and brought his worshipped arms up to lay flat on her plush sides. Once a time ago, their positions were reversed. She felt like the scum of the world while he touched every portion of her skin and told her why he loved it, her sides and stomach were the most difficult to convince her to love, but he held her just like she was now until she relaxed into his touch. He moved his hands from her sides, to her back, then to her stomach. She moved her hands to glide up his chest and pass over his shoulders, the room's hazy blue light made the world seem sleepy. She dipped down to litter kiss after kiss along his collar to his jaw and then back down to his sternum, he shivered slightly.
"This chest. It's a place where your heart is held, a beautiful divine drumbeat of a representation of the man you are. Without your chest the rest of you would fall apart, without your heart you wouldn't be the man I love." She spread her fingers so each finger pad traced a different portion of his rib cage, this fragile protective shielding of bone that held his heavily beating heart safe. With a kiss, she silently thanked fate for not harming his heart during one of his pro hero missions. Her hands came back down to his abs where he again flinched back and looked away from her. Her eyes glinted with empathy and love as she shifted on his hips to allow her to bend down and kiss his belly button. Katsuki's face became hotter as he gazed back down to see her eyes on him as she tenderly kissed his stomach, a certain area caused him to almost sob again but her soft caresses made those painful emotions less intense.
"Your core. The foundation of your body and something you're so proud to have. It’s importance to you to have such a toned body made me so proud, but even without a six pack I’d still love you" She giggled and sat back so her hands could caress his sides, some silver scars littered areas along each portion of his skin, but her kisses did not discriminate, in fact she made sure to love those scars especially.
"Each part of you is a new area for me to fawn over. You're to beautiful Katsuki and I'm so happy you let me worship you in my own ways because-" She firmly places a kiss to the portion of his chest where his heart lay and then back to connect her lips with his. His warm hands press heat along her bare back and tug her closer, her hair color mixed with his blond locks from the close proximity.
"Without you Katsuki Bakugou I would be so lost, a shell of the confident women you've helped me to be. I thank you for that." He looks deeply into her eyes in order to seek any kind of lie or uncertainty but what he accidentally found lead to a catalyst of erupting positive emotions that made him hug her tight.
"Flaws and all?" He could barely breath the words that he feared he'd have to repeat. She returned the embrace, their skin tones flushed close, and she gave an answer that cemented his love for her.
"Flaws and all, dumbass." He snorted and she laughed her own chuckle, his tension had long since dissipated as her soft touched and sweet words melted his insecurities. He rolls them over by encircling her waist in his arms, his body squishes her’s as he settles in top, their giggling symbolizing their mutual adoration. He douses her skin in kisses, each portion receiving love and her giggles reverberate in his ears. She smoothed his back with her hands, then to his sides, across his chest and then to find purpose in cupping his face.
"I love you Katsuki." He smirks and presses their foreheads together and their eyes flutter close.
"I love you too."
