the moon club
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Titanymede
Luna = lunanana (itzlonely2nite), Titan = teentitan (tim_t1me_bomb), Dione = d10neee (like_it_lurk_it), Iapetus = not iapetus (shadowfaxlive), Europa = europurr (frozenheartthrob), Ganymede = gaaanymede (thereal_egghead), Callisto = callmecallisto (analog_artifacts), Enceladus = enceladude (enzofreeze), IO = IO THE COOLEST ! (Squ4rE_PANTS!), Rhea = 𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀 (kawaii_k1tt3n)
—
thursday, april 30th
the goon club
5:00 am
gaaanymede is online
gaaanymede: nutted in her braces now my kids behind bars 💔
europurr is online
europurr replied to — ‘gaaanymede: nutted in her braces now my kids…’: lets see how I can make this about Titanymede
gaaanymede: too fucking early for this.
europurr: should've thought twice before you sent that in.
europurr: ok so Titan wears braces. this is actually Titanymede in real life
gaaanymede: BROOOO
lunanana: Awww.. They become more canon everyday :)
lunanana: Also, I didn't know Titan wore braces :O
europurr: Titan is a tea drinker that's probably why he wears braces
teentitan is online
teentitan: I'M NOT FUCKING BRITISH.
europurr: you're Canadian that's like ten times worse 😭
lunanana: I didn't know Titan was a maple syrup hoarder L_L
teentitan: ?!?!?!?WHAT THE HELL.
gaaanymede: maple syrup hoarder im shitting
europurr: don’t act shocked. I KNOW you got at least twelve syrup bottles in your pantry rn
teentitan: I DONT EVEN LIKE MAPLE SYRUP.
lunanana: That sounds exactly like what a maple syrup addict would say…
teentitan: LUNA NOT YOU TOO????
d10neee is online
d10neee: why is titan getting culturally profiled at 5 in the morning
europurr: because it’s funny
teentitan: this is canadianist.
gaaanymede: he just sayin shit
europurr: Titan after getting accused of drinking tea: This is discrimination against Canadians everywhere!
teentitan: I DONT EVEN DRINK TEA THAT OFTEN.
gaaanymede: “that often”
teentitan: OH MY GODDDD
lunanana: Wait so if Titan isn’t British then why does he text like he pays taxes in London?
teentitan: HOW DO I TEXT???
europurr: “dont even joke lad”
gaaanymede: “you absolute buffoon” ass vocabulary
teentitan: MAYBE IM JUST EDUCATED???
d10neee: no cuz he really types like an old man who owns a pipe collection
teentitan: IM SIXTEEN.
europurr: mentally forty six
gaaanymede: physically built like he drinks sparkling water unironically
teentitan: GANYMEDE???
gaaanymede: what
gaaanymede: im just saying u look like you say “quite delightful” after eating crackers 🤔
lunanana: Awww wait that’s kind of cute actually :)
teentitan: THANK YOU LUNA.
europurr: his heart lit up immediately 😭😭
gaaanymede: he folded INSTANTLY
teentitan: CAN YOU TWO SHUT UP.
not iapetus is online
not iapetus: Why are all of you awake.
d10neee: Titan got exposed for being Canadian
not iapetus: My condolences.
teentitan: IAPETUS???
gaaanymede: yo ask him if he sleeps in a lumberjack fit too
teentitan: DO YOU PEOPLE HEAR YOURSELVES.
europurr: wait omg
europurr: Titan probably says “sorry” after bumping into walls
lunanana: HELP 😭
gaaanymede: titan bumps into a chair and starts apologizing profusely
teentitan: THIS IS NOT TRUE???
d10neee: “Oh goodness gracious my sincerest apologies chair!”
teentitan: DIE.
europurr: AWWWW HE SAID GOODNESS GRACIOUS BEFORE 😭😭😭
gaaanymede: HE DID???
teentitan: IT WAS ONE TIME. STOP THIS.
lunanana: oh my god he actually is Canadian
teentitan: LUNAAAAA 💔💔💔
europurr: titanymede date idea: ganymede throws rocks at titan while titan apologizes to him
gaaanymede: STOP MAKING SHIT UP.
d10neee: enemies to lovers
not iapetus: More like harassment to lovers.
gaaanymede: there are no lovers involved.
lunanana: Yet :)
teentitan: OH MY GODDDDDD.
europurr: Ganymede: BITCH THIS CHICKEN IS COLD!
Titan: AAAAAAUGH!!!
lunanana: I'M HOLLERING 😭
teentitan: EUROPA. STOP THIS MADNESS. 😠😠😠😠
europurr: Ganymede: I WANT MORE KIDS!
Titan: 😭😭😭😭😭😭
gaaanymede: THIS WOMAN.
d10neee: Titan pregnant compilation when
teentitan: wHAT ARE YIU ON ABAOJT.
europurr: Top 10 Times Titan Was Forced Into Labour
lunanana: Number 1: The braces incident :(
gaaanymede: CAN WE NOT CALL IT THAT
not iapetus: Too late, it's apart of goon club lore.
teentitan: WHY DOES EVERYTHING BECOME LORE WITH YOU PEOPLE.
europurr: because ur life is a sitcom
d10neee: honestly this gc could be studied in a laboratory
gaaanymede: scientists would kill themselves after 4 minutes
teentitan: understandable honestly
lunanana: Awww look at them agreeing 🥹
gaaanymede: STOP DOING THAT.
europurr: Luna ships it harder than me atp 😭
lunanana: I'm just observing the chemistry L_L
teentitan: THERE IS NO CHEMISTRY.
not iapetus: So there's this river in Egypt…
gaaanymede: do u think every interaction between two men is gay.
not iapetus: Not every interaction.
not iapetus: Just yours.
gaaanymede: IM GOING TO SLEEP.
europurr: running away from your feelings i see
gaaanymede: IM RUNNING AWAY FROM ALL OF YOU???
teentitan: realest thing he’s ever said
europurr: wow look at them bonding again 💕
teentitan: EUROPAAAAAAA.
callmecallisto is online
callmecallisto: Why is Titan yelling at 5am.
d10neee: he got pregnant again
callmecallisto: Oh okay.
callmecallisto is offline
teentitan: SHE CANT KEEP GETTING AWAY WITH THIS?????
lunanana: 😭😭😭
IO THE COOLEST ! is online
IO THE COOLEST !: Titan pregnart??? :0
teentitan: I’M HANGING MYSSLF
europurr: Ganymede: I slowly open the door…
lunanana: DDLC REFERENCE!!!!
europurr: oh absolutely
europurr: we should just kiss for that
lunanana: 0_o
d10neee: Europa x Luna… i've never seen sich good Yuri before
lunanana: Aw L_L
europurr: actually
europurr: gets down on one knee…
lunanana: OMG
d10neee: NO WAY
teentitan: WHAT is happening.
IO THE COOLEST !: SHSHSHHH
europurr: Luna… since we met that one day… I can't help but think that we were destined to be and..
lunanana: 🥹
europurr: I just have to ask you…
europurr: Will you be… my queer platonic spouse…?
lunanana: Yes! <3
d10neee: BEAUTIFUL BEAUTIFUL
IO THE COOLEST !: WHEN'S THE WEDDING >_<?!
gaaanymede: never. I OBJECT!
europurr: sit your fucking ass down ganymede nobody gives a fuck what you think.
gaaanymede: damn.
europurr: the wedding.. Is…
europurr: Luna when's your birthday
lunanana: November 30th! :)
europurr: geez that's a long time away.
europurr: the wedding is on Luna's birthday
d10neee: AWWW… SO CUTE!
IO THE COOLEST !: can I be the flower boy :33
lunanana: Of course!
not iapetus: Can I be the guy that keeps Ganymede out the wedding.
gaaanymede: FUCK OFF
teentitan: GET FUCKED
gaaanymede: SYFMM?????
europurr replied to — ‘not iapetus: Can I be the guy that…’: hell yes I don't want rhat cisgender in my weding
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀 is online
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀: Good morning beautiful and handsome people in this group chat! ❀ܓ(｡◠ ꇴ ◠｡ ) ❤❤❤ I hope everyone had a good rest! （๑ ᷇ 𖥦 ᷆๑)♡
lunanana: Good morning, Rhea! ^_^
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀: Hello Luna! ᐢᴗ͈ ᴗ͈ᐢꕀ♡
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀: YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED?!?!?!??
gaaanymede: gn
teentitan: took her a while 😭
d10neee: Be nice she can be a little late sometimes
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀: GUYSSS! ˃̣̣̣̣︿˂̣̣̣̣ I JUST WOKE UP! Give me a break… </3
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀: Anyway Luna, Europa, I'm so happy for you both! ❤❤
lunanana: Thank you!
europurr: thxxx 💕
IO THE COOLEST !: OMG OMG WAIT CAN WE HAVE A CAKE
lunanana: YES!!! :D
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀: I'll be sure to bake it! ໒꒰ྀི๑ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ๑꒱ྀིა
IO THE COOLEST !: YAYYYYY
d10neee: Who officiating this wedding
europurr: Callisto
d10neee: @analog_artifacts make a Europa/Luna fanfic plss
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀: Omg wait!!! (｡♥‿♥｡) I can decorate everything! We can have flowers and matching dresses and little heart confetti!!! ♡
europurr: WAIT YESSS
IO THE COOLEST !: AND I THROW FLOWER PETALS >:DDD
gaaanymede: this is genuinely the worst thing I’ve ever witnessed
not iapetus: Says the man who got Titan pregnant.
teentitan: I DID NOT GET PREGNANT.
d10neee: denial stage
teentitan: THERE ARE NO STAGES???
europurr: acceptance comes soon dw
gaaanymede: yall are actually insane
lunanana: Awww, our first married couple argument 🥹
teentitan: LUNA??????
IO THE COOLEST !: THEY GROW UP SO FAST… :’)
gaaanymede: IM NOT MARRIED TO THIS MAN.
europurr: wow.
europurr: so after all he’s done for you…
gaaanymede: WHAT HAS HE DONE FOR ME???
europurr: carried your children bravely.
teentitan: STOP SAYING THAT LIKE ITS REAL?????
not iapetus: Titan is a single mother…
d10neee: Working two jobs to support his family 💔
europurr: making little lunches for the kids before school
IO THE COOLEST !: cutting the sandwiches into stars :33
lunanana: Wait that's actually adorable :(
gaaanymede: WHY IS LUNA ENCOURAGING IT SO MUCH
teentitan: THANK YOU.
lunanana: I just think Titan would make cute little star shaped sandwiches L_L
. . .
europurr: OH MY GOD HE WENT SILENT
d10neee: I'M CDYINFFF
gaaanymede: he's probably smiling at his phone rn
teentitan: IM LITERALLY NOT.
not iapetus: Typing speed decreased by 37%.
teentitan: I HATE YOU PEOPLE SO MUCH.
lunanana: It's okay Titan! We support you :)
d10neee: Yeah it's okay if your abusive husband Ganymede doesn't love you like you do him
europurr: Us girls and Luna and Enceladus are all here for each other
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀: Mhm! `(*∩_∩*)′
enceladude is online
enceladude: WHO THENFUCK ADDED ME TO RHEFICONEVRSTAION ISTG IF ITS SOME BULLSHIG AGAIN IM GENUINELG GONNA CUCKING XLIMD ALL OF YOU IT'S TOO FUCKING EARLY FOR THIS SHIF .
europurr: WHOLE HOUSE MAD
d10neee: WHO pissed in his cereal
enceladude: DODNF PISS3MEOFF DIONE I HAVE NO TIME FOR YIU ALL ANDYIUR TOMFOOLERH YOU STUPUD DUMB DISCARDED SKPERM CELLS
d10neee: ???BICH WJAT
not iapetus: Good morning, Enceladus.
enceladude: oh good day 🙂
gaaanymede: holy fucking dickrider
europurr: Enceladus: Hoppin dih dih dih dih
enceladude: THIS IS NOT WHAG I CAME ONLINE FOR.
gaaanymede: THEN WHAT FOR cuz to me it seems like u jusg here hootin and hollering
enceladude: LISTEN HERE YOU UNCULTERED SWINE.
gaaanymede: 👀
enceladude: I OPEN THIS GROUPCHAT AND THE FIRST THING I SEE IS TITAN GETTING MPREG'D AGAIN.
teentitan: AGAIN?????
europurr: implying there was a first time…?
d10neee: oh there DEFINITELY was
lunanana: The braces incident! :(
teentitan: STOP CALLING IT THAT.
enceladude: WHAT THE FUCK IS THE BRACES INCIDENT.
gaaanymede: NOTHING.
not iapetus: Ganymede impregnated Titan through orthodontics apparently.
enceladude: wh
enceladude: HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN.
europurr: love finds a way
teentitan: IM GOING TO THROW MYSELF INTO TRAFFIC ISTGGH
lunanana: Nooo don’t do that T_T
d10neee: Titan every morning waking up knowing he’s married with 4 children
teentitan: I NEVER AGREED TO ANY OF THIS???
IO THE COOLEST !: yes u did :3
teentitan: WHEN.
IO THE COOLEST !: in Callisto's fanfiction! :p
gaaanymede: this Callisto bro gotta move.
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀: Awww, I think Titan and Ganymede would have a very lovely family! (｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )♡
gaaanymede: RHEA NOT YOU TOO???
enceladude: THIS IS WHY I DONT COME ONLINE.
europurr: yes u do. u literally materialize every time chaos happens
enceladude: BECAUSE YOU PEOPLE KEEP SUMMONING ME LIKE I'M A FUCKING DEMON?!?!?!?
not iapetus: Accurate comparison honestly.
enceladude: THANK YOU IAPETUS.
gaaanymede: holy glaze 😭
enceladude: SHUT THE FUCK UP GANYMEDE BEFORE I TURN YOU INTO A FUCKING PANINI PRESS.
lunanana: A panini press 😭😭
d10neee: I'M FRYINF SO BADDDD
europurr: “turn you into a panini press” is crazy work 💔
teentitan: wait lowkey that sounds painful
gaaanymede: why are YOU concerned.
teentitan: empathy???
europurr: AWWWW HE CARES ABOUT HIS HUSBAND
teentitan: OH MY GODDDDD.
teentitan is offline
europurr: Ganymede go to his house
gaaanymede: why
europurr: Titan: your presence keeps me safe…
gaaanymede: europa stop.
europurr: Titan: Gaaaanyymeeedeee…… im in heat
gaaanymede: UR NOT FUNNY
d10neee: Titanymede omegaverse hurt/comfort fanfic when
gaaanymede: DONT.
IO THE COOLEST !: NOWWW!!!!!! >:33
lunanana: Aww… I hope Callisto is writing these down :’)
callmecallisto is online
callmecallisto: Of course I am. I never miss a chance to shit on Ganymede.
gaaanymede: Callisto.
callmecallisto: why is the ai speaking to me
gaaanymede: FUCK YOUUUU.
𐙚⋆° rhea ｡ 🎀: I think Titan and Ganymede should go on a date! (≧ω≦)
gaaanymede: DONT PISS ME OFF.
d10neee: First date ideas: couples therapy, anger management, and escape room
not iapetus: They would leave the escape room divorced.
enceladude: can we lock THEM in the escape room and never let them out.
gaaanymede: YOU WORRY ABOUT YOUR FUCKING HOME ECO GRADE BRO.
enceladude: MY FUTURE IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS YOU UNCIRCUMCISED WALNUT.
d10neee: ENCELADUS?????????
IO THE COOLEST !: WALNUT 😭😭😭
europurr: this gc genuinely reads like a psychiatric evaluation
callmecallisto: And somehow Titan and Ganymede are still the most divorced couple here.
gaaanymede: WE ARENT EVEN TOGETHER.
callmecallisto: Toxic yaoi then. My mistake.
gaaanymede: im deleting this app
lunanana: You say that every week :(
gaaanymede: AND ONE DAY ILL MEAN IT.