((I needed to feel better so I wrote fluff. Specifically flustered dorks who can’t fucking spit it out and still won’t. There’s probably way too much dialogue. It happens. Also, if you did read the tailoring drabble I posted not long ago, this happens only a night or two before that fic. As such, they’re 14ish sweeps and this is considered ‘modern day’ in the scheme of things.))
“Pallia, please don't make such a fuss, it's unkind to your features.”
“Unkind? Careen if you're going to do everything you can to make sure your guests don't talk to me, don't act like it's ssssssome idiotic attempt at my appearance!” Pallia yelled. “The only reason I'm here anyway is because Mayola practically begged me.”
The few trolls walking into the room stopped. They didn't seem to know what to do. Pallia couldn't say she blamed them. When you're invited to a fancy formal ball, you don't expect one of the guests to end up in a screaming match with the other. In particular, you don't expect it in some dark green restingblock hiding in the back of the hive, away from everyone else.
Careen raised a perfectly plucked brow. “Oh? Are you absolutely certain you aren't chasing after someone else?” she asked. “One of your hivemates, perhaps?”
“Who?” Pallia asked. “Who am I, someone wholly uninterested in quadrants, chasing?”
Careen was silent as she crossed her arms over her violet corset-style top, glaring daggers. “We both know who I'm talking about.”
Pallia rolled her eyes. She did, it was true. And it hadn’t been the first time Careen accused her of seducing (could an asexual troll even seduce someone?) him and dragging him down. “Then tell Mayola I'm sssssorry I sssstill can't tolerate your presssence to help her get through thisssss fucking party.”
She didn't let Careen answer, instead marching out of the room, only stopping briefly to apologize to both Mayola and a goldblood in dark sunglasses (hiding his psionic to keep from being a battery) who Pallia actually spent the party with, that she was leaving early due to outlying circumstances. Mayola didn't buy it for a second, and it took some promising of meeting up later before heiress let her go. But at least she left it at that. Pallia was glad; this goldblood was interested in theoretically assisting with research, and she would happily accept a computer engineer on her team. She wasn't sure what he'd think about all this, and didn't particularly want to know.
From there, she found herself sitting alone in a back corner of a late-night Sandyhorn diner, furiously texting Aisral about the whole event.
Fucking Careen. She deserved... something. Something worse than Pallia occasionally yelling at her after Careen manages to go out of her way to ruin her night. This time, from Careen going out of her way to interrupt her rather pleasant conversation with the goldblood. He seemed massively uncomfortable by the whole thing, and Careen nearly made him stay as witness to “Pallia’s natural violent nature”. At least she managed to get him out before the blow up.
And most obnoxiously of all, she never blew up. Careen would become snide and condescending, but she didn't get angry the way Pallia was used to. She could deal with yelling and violence. But the constant treatment that she was a wiggler, talking over her and accusing her without any further explanation? It infuriated her like nothing else. She wasn't sure how anyone put up with it, much less people like Mayola or Dontoc -- the former who had to for political reasons and the latter who just….liked her. Somehow.
She sighed, rubbing her forehead as Aisral sent a flurry of furious messages. She knew why Dontoc liked her -- sort of. And logically it made sense. Isolation, social or otherwise, did things to a troll that society never wanted to acknowledge. Maybe if she were in the same position, repeatedly told she was a useless excuse of her caste for a good chunk of her life, she would have reacted similarly. But then again, wasn't she? Simultaneously, she always had Aisral and Dontoc….didn't. Not for a while, anyway. So she had no true frame of reference.
It certainly didn't help that Careen seemed absolutely convinced there was something going on between them for reasons that frankly made no sense. The two were friends, yes. And they lived together. And for Pallia to say Dontoc wasn't that geeky cute she preferred, or how charming he became once he relaxed, was a lie. That being said, the two barely even saw each other anymore, down to her not even seeing him at the whole ball. Or that their relationship lasted long enough to surpass the 3-4 sweep threshold in which losing interest was most likely. If anything, Careen should be less concerned now than she was sweeps ago, and yet she became more erratic and defensive with each passing sweep.
But, if she had to really reason it out, if she had to fill the red quadrant and didn’t use the moirallegiance to make it past pailing seasons, and if Dontoc were available, and if he were somehow okay with the whole asexual thing, he wouldn’t be a bad partner. He wouldn’t even just be a good partner. She’d have a matesprit who she could curl up and watch bad movies with, someone who went along with even the most seemingly inane of decisions (including the multiple times. She’d have a best friend for a matesprit. What could be better?
It was a shame their friendship put her back on Careen’s radar.
“Excuse me dear, is this seat taken?” a posh, distinctly familiar voice asked. Pallia jerked her head up, finding the tired smile of Dontoc standing at the end of the table. His hair looked just as messy as usual. Pallia didn't have the energy to say anything, she just waved him down. He slid down toward the end of the booth, the whites of his suit standing in stark contrast to the dark colors of the diner.
“Did Aisral text you?” she eventually asked.
“Actually this time you can blame Mayola. She made it her personal goal to find me and tell me you left,” he said. “I daresay no one has even realized I left.”
Pallia snorted. “Yeah, I’m sure at your anniversssary party they won’t noticssse you’re gone.”
“Careen certainly seemed extremely worked up and concerned with something I frankly held no interest in regarding Mayola. I highly doubt she will attempt to contact me tonight. But just in case-” He slid his hand into his pocket, revealing a violet phone covered in a light gray case. He pressed a few buttons and set it on the table, letting it vibrate harshly as the small legs curled into the blackened screen. “-I shall take the measures to ensure we are uninterrupted.”
Pallia smiled weakly. “Ssssshe’s angry at Mayola?”
Dontoc gave her a Cheshire cat grin. “Absolutely livid. I think she finally found out Mayola is taking this Heiress thing seriously.”
“Oh.” She exhaled, letting her shoulders droop for the first time since arriving. That took a weight off her. “Conssssidering she’s insssssissstent I’ve got ssssome kind of flusssssh crusssssh on you.” She groaned again and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Ssssorry for the hissss. I know it’sss bad right now. Ssstill upssset.”
Dontoc blinked harshly several times, mouth opening and closing like a fish with his fins fluttering wildly in some kind of bizarre attempt at processing the information. Then, finally, he managed to squeak out, “Huh.”
“I’m glad I’m not the only one who’ssss confussssed,” she said. “Though I haven’t told Aissssral that yet. Will do ssssoon. Don’t worry I’m not gonna pussssh any of that on you.”
“Pallia, you so artfully avoid any conversation about Careen, I would truly be more worried if you did.” He frowned, gaze flickering down for a second before locking back onto her.
“You ssssay that asssss you bolt from the party to find me,” she pointed out.
He gave her a playful smirk. “Attempting to quiet Mayola does not count.”
“We both know that’s impossssssible.”
“Yes. It is. But if I do not attempt, then Aisral will certainly be upset, and she is still designing our costumes for Night of Frights. It would be dreadful of her to burn it two months before the date.” He quirked an eyebrow. “By the way, do you still wish to attend? I understand wishing to back out.”
Pallia crossed her arms. “Oh no. We’ve had thessse plans ssssince we ssstarted lissstening. I’m not backing out because of one bad night.”
“Should I be worried about your inclination to play an evil scientist working with the horrorterrors?” he asked dryly.
“At this rate, I’d file it under a possssibility,” she muttered.
Another smirk, one that she mirrored right back, however pitifully. Joking always put her in a better mood. “I feel like this should be nipped in the bud before it becomes a problem.”
“And how are you going to do that? Cassssst Allies?”
“Perhaps.” She watched as he craned his neck around to observe the empty room around them. As he stood up, he gave her a slight bow and added, “But I think I have a better idea.”
She cocked her head in confusion, mouth open to ask, but he was gone before any words could form. She watched as he approached the counter toward the same peppy brownblood that seated her not long ago. He glanced over at the table and waved shyly Pallia’s gaze dropped to the phone underneath the table, heat pooling to her face and down her neck.
“Sssstop letting Careen messsss with your nucleon,” she muttered. It’s just Dontoc. A troll who she had known for a solid four sweeps now. A troll who ducked out of more important events to spend time with her (like now), willingly went along all the times she wanted to drag him out of the hive, curled up in her lap like a purrbeast (and she had done the same), and happily assisted in experiments that went on far longer than they should have. The same troll who went out of her way to find her in a diner after she stormed out all because Mayola tipped him off. But that ignored their large caste difference...among other things.
Careen was looking for reasons to get hate her. That’s all.
She didn’t look back up until she heard his voice again. “Consider it a gift.”
“Consider wh--oh.” On the table next to her was a tall chocolate milkshake, whip cream and all. “Dontoc you really didn’t have to.”
“You looked miserable when I arrived. Truly the least I could do.” With an chuckle, he added, “However, of course I desired one myself.”
She sighed, leaning back in her chair. He wasn’t wrong: even with the joking, she felt miserable. Mentally she might have calmed, but she could still feel the blood rush through her body, putting everything on edge. Her throat still felt choked up, and she was afraid any minute she might end up crying, even his cheery tone. “You didn’t get one.”
He grinned and stuck a second straw into the milkshake. “Yes, I did.”
And there it was again. That creeping heat on her neck that froze her brain faster than the milkshake ever could. Granted, he must have been doing something right. The anger she felt over the whole situation froze with the rest of her thoughts, replacing it with...something else she couldn’t quite pinpoint. She propped herself up in in her chair to take a long sip from the milkshake, hoping to steady her racing thoughts. The milkshake was helping, if only as a proper distraction to whatever growing situation was at hand.
“Well you’ll have to hurry up or else it’ll be gone,” she eventually said. It was all that could come to her head. The rest was replaced with some awful combination of dissipating irritation and growing nervousness.
“I will be fair, I was not sure you would be okay with me drinking at the same time as you,” he admitted. “You seem ah…”
“Anxious?” She pushed the milkshake closer to him, forcing her to rest her lean over more. Her arms laid flat on the table as her hands wrapped around the bottom of the frosted glass. “It’s better than angry.”
“Not angry is good. Anxious is not.” He took the second straw and took a short sip. “We do not need two of me running around, I feel.”
“You’re doing fine right now for some reason,” she said.
“Oh trust me Pallia, I am still a complete mess of nerves at all points in this discussion.” He smiled sheepishly and placed his cool hands over Pallia’s on the glass, telltale tremors of nervousness not stopping until his hand completely overlapped. She shuddered the minute they touched, but whether it was because of the temperature difference or something else she wasn’t sure. “I have simply gotten better at hiding it vocally.”
Her gaze dropped back down to the table, glasses sliding down her face. She wanted to push them back up her nose, but simultaneously didn’t want to move. This was pleasant. Nerve-wracking, but...pleasant. If that were possible. “I dunno, you’re not generally so bold as to try to hold my hand in public unless we’re playing it up to get highbloods to back off.” She took another long drink. “...Are we?”
His fins fluttered. “Ah...no. But you’re are lower in caste, and as such your hands are pleasantly warm.”
“So you were looking for an excuse.”
Dontoc laughed before taking another sip. Between the two of them (or well, Pallia with a smidgen of assistance), the milkshake had almost disappeared in the short amount of time they sat down together. “It is chilly outside.”
“Says the troll who is drinking a chocolate frozen moobeast drink with me in a cold diner and admitted he wanted one himself,” she said lightly. “If you want physical contact you can just tell me.”
He smiled shyly. “Do you?” He paused, and expression, fins and all, dropped. “I can stop if I am making you uncomfortable. I...well, I know you have your preferences about being touched.”
Pallia bit her lip. She was far from uncomfortable. Really, the fact that this wasn’t bothering her in the slightest worried her more at this point. It was one thing to do this in the privacy of their own hive, where only Aisral could make quips towards them. It was another to have their faces sit inches away from each other, sharing a milkshake like matesprits.
God this is weird.
She must’ve been silent for longer than she thought. In an instant, he pulled everything away completely. He didn’t break his gaze - not completely anyway, as Dontoc seemed more focused on some spot above her than her - but his fins certainly flapped hard enough she could feel the wind. “I ah...sorry. I am afraid I must have gotten carried away in my attempt at bringing your attention away from--”
She reached over to take his hand on instinct before it retracted under the table. “No you’re fine! Honesssst!”
“Are you sure? I do not want to continue if you--”
She rolled her eyes. “Dontoc, you know me. I’m more than happy to tell you I want you to sssstop.” She gave him a warm smile. “But I get why you’d be freaked out. We haven’t exactly...uh…”
He nodded and ran his free hand through his hair. “No, I understand. Though ah...if you would prefer dear, we could possibly call it and go home.”
Pallia cocked her head. “You’re not going back to the party?”
“Yes, because I shall have fun with strangers more than with a dear friend.” He raised his eyebrows at her. “Will you be okay? About everything with well-” he gestured vaguely in the air “-Careen?”
“Hopefully. If she’s more angry at Mayola right now, then I might not have to deal with her.”
Dontoc hummed and shoved his hand in his pocket. Had it always sounded so pleasant when he did that? She knew she enjoyed it, but more than that she enjoyed what it came with: long conversations with lots of back and forth. But this is the first time anything made her feel effervescent for the first time in hours. Or maybe he always did it to her, and she only just now noticed. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time.
Her thoughts broke when he took her free hand again, sliding a cool piece of silk. She looked down to see the barest hint of what looked like a violet handkerchief. His handkerchief. “Take this,” he said. He sounded closer. He was closer. Back to the same closeness as with the milkshake. Close enough the seadweller chill combined with those fins made her shiver. “It should serve as a reminder.”
Pallia looked at him quizzically. “For…”
He sighed. “A reminder to Careen of our relationship. But also…” he trailed off for a second to trace a circle into Pallia’s hand. His face pointed toward the floor as he spoke, but she could still see those damned fins vibrate, “in the off chance something happens and we must part, I wanted you to have something tangible to remember me by, since you have given me much in that regard, and I...ah, not so much.”
She flushed, pulse racing. It’s just Dontoc, she told herself. Your friend with a pretty voice and face and is doing a really good job making me feel bashful for no good reason, but a friend. After all, why would you only feel flushed after 4 sweeps? Who does that?
“I’m not sure 12th Perigee gifts count for that.”
“I feel they do.” He looked back up at her, sheepish smile sending butterflies to her stomach for reasons that it absolutely shouldn’t have. “And well, and even then this is hardly much of anything. However,
Okay. Maybe she did have a flush crush.
That’s not good.
She looked at the table. A free finger traced the handkerchief. The increased tangling of their fingers was a secondary, but not unwelcome, effect. She sighed softly, but for due to the former or latter reason she wasn’t sure. “No, this is perfect.” She grinned, hoping it hid the growing awkwardness she felt. “Thanks.”
He laughed quietly. “I’m glad. You deserve something you love.”
They stood there in the quiet evening of the diner for a moment before Pallia finally separated to step away from the table. “If we don’t leave soon, it’ll be daylight.”
“Hm. You’re right.” He grabbed his phone and followed suit, standing next to her with a worried frown. “Erm, Pallia...do you mind if I fix something?”
She blinked owlishly at him. “Uh...sure.”
He snickered and pushed up her glasses. “It was starting to bother me.”
Pallia blinked harshly, letting out a small squeak when his hand came up. With everything else, she completely forgot they fell. “Oh, yeah. Guess they did. Thanks.”
His fins twitched in a perfect compliment to his tinted cheeks. “I-I mean, you look fine either way. I just ah, thought you might like to see better.”
“I would, yeah.” She giggled and leaned into him. He wrapped an arm around her upper back, just past her shoulders. “Makes getting home easier.”
His hand gave her arm a gentle squeeze. “I would hope,” he said pleasantly. “But come on, let’s go home.”
She leaned her head on his arm. Careen might have been right (for once). She did actually have a crush on Dontoc, and there was nothing either party could do much about. But that’s okay. She’d just take a break from him. Let the feelings simmer down. Maybe even dissipate.
Or maybe it wouldn’t. But she’d solve that later on.
