Discover Top Posts Tagged with #somefeelings

As vezes parece que aqueles que mais escondem são os que mais sentem

Autor desconhecido

4•27•17

My heart is heavy, and it's hard to breathe. Anything basic is hard right now. Eating, sleeping, breathing... it's all too exhausting. I wake up everyday to another day of mourning a dream. The dream of forever in her light, the dream of home. Doing any menial task feels like I'm climbing a mountain with one arm. She's gone. Even when she was still here she was gone. Losing herself to become more like him. It kills me. It kills me to know that it's all gone now, and it kills me to be so easily replaceable. I loved her. I love her. I never thought that love could feel like venom pumping through your veins until her eyes pierced my soul and sent the hot fire of this curse straight into my heart. I just want this part to be over, I want to fast forward to a place where I've forgotten all of this and I'm happy. I want to fast forward to the day where she doesn't cross my mind anymore and breathing is easy again. That or I'd like to rewind to a time when her eyes would search for me in a room. Where she'd look me in the eyes and we'd disappear in each other. To a time where we pretended every kiss would be our last, even though we knew we had forever together. Well, we thought. This is just hard.

#somefeelings

What I really want in life!

Life is such enigmatic and attempting to understand it well, is absurd. I can't believe that my hard work throughout the years and all of the sacrifices I’ve made were still not enough to get near prosperity, I find my self today a little over thirty years old with substantially limited resources, much lesser energy than what I had during my twenties and lately suffering an occasional depression. I’m inclined to ponder that it must be the wrong choices I make, whereby that I mean drifting left and right almost willingly with the rattling waves while I’m not proactively pursuing what I really want in life. But, who does know what they want in life anyways?

Nevertheless, the answer to such question is undeniably hostile even for elder people who had more than zillion likelihoods to unravel and react. In the other hand I consider myself a bit luckier than those who are completely lodging in the dark; I say that assuming that I know my priorities rather clearer then they do. For instance, when most people aspire for fame or piles of cash, I devote my days seeking for freedom. Matter of fact, I ultimately seek for absolute freedom.

I want to be free to say whatever I like without being judged, I want to express my true self openly without being evaluated, I want to commute my way wherever I want carelessly and I want to be financially free to invest on my modest needs without being constrained by irrational prices or cultural stigmas. I shamelessly admit my lack of obsession to owning a hundred acres mansion, a customized Maybach with my personalized logos printed on its entire interior or even a two story closets that are full of priceless wardrobe and jewels, for these are all things, just things not wealth.

Fortunately, I’m on the contrary side, the greener side and rather the farther to reach side. Truthfully, I aspire for the opportunity to always be who I am, whenever I want, wherever I am, however I choose, “Alsahl Almomtanie”. However, some folks may debate the simplicity of my aspiration, and how attainable it is, despite of the mass parade of colorful masks across all of the eight directions around us! Really?

It is what it is, beyond all odds, I am quite determined to stay my course and continue to live scrutinizing the farthest horizon even if it is murky. If there is a will there is a way they say. Plus, people who really know who I am would most likely label me a dreamer, which I am proud to be. Because, being a dreamer is being alive, brave, and forever young, being a dreamer is to preserve passion that propels hope in any given day, and this dynamic intertwined relationship of passion and hope builds unstoppable thrust and generates robust power. Thus, when I wakeup every morning I arise with my head between the clouds but certainly with my feet on reality’s ground.

#somefeelings #truthbetold