#sometimes i get down

[allabouthatnerd]

I know, I KNOW that it will pass, but anxiety about my future, about what I'm doing if I'm able to actually do the things that I want to do is like eating my insides and spitting out my bones.

I just want to feel better right now

[autodiscothings]

I have all sorts of stupid ambitious ideas for my neon noir universe, but what always stops me every time is:

it’s fan content

it’s fan content of minor characters no one cares about, with added large handfuls of my OCs and worldbuilding 

I mean I can do all this to learn new skills like I am with the animation, but ultimately it comes down to being as useless as my origami hobby is.  What exactly do I do with all this ...stuff I’ve done after? Shove it in a portfolio? “Here’s my fan universe I created, boy oh boy I hope you like minor video game characters.”

Essentially if there’s no audience (and there isn’t, I can see the notes) I wonder is my ideas are good enough. What am I doing all this for, anyway?

Would creating my own world be more productive? Can I rewrite Kolyat in another setting and it still make sense? Eidetic memory is very drell and part of the storytelling process, so maybe not.

I got two stories to finish, a load of art WIPs and an animation on the go, but I get so discouraged sometimes. I do think of what I create a lot, probably to an obsessive level.

There’s no point to this post, I just need to rant sometimes. Tomorrow is another day and it’s late here- that’s when the brain weasels come out and chew the cables. 

[cloudbbyx]

Does anyone else worry and wonder if they are going to be single and alone for the rest of their lives? It’s a shitty worry to have 😂

[traxploitation]

Kotchy - Sometimes I Get Down (Mike Slott Remix)

Just posted Kotchy's beat-tape (Baggy Spandex) not long ago. Found this on XLR8R this morning & had to share. This is a remix of the 1st track off his forthcoming album, "Two". Mike Slott handles the remix duties & does it well. Waddaya waitin' for?

Download: Kotchy - "Sometimes I Get Down" (Mike Slott Remix).mp3

[eveofeve]

Sometimes I don't even know why I'd complain about my life. Sure, I may not be in a relationship, have my ideal body and maybe my emotions are completely sporadic but I mean... I have a roof over my head, I have all my appendages and a relatively healthy body, I have some of the best friends anyone could ask for, and so much more.

I have everything I need. I have to remind myself to love each day and see the glass as half-full. 

[jump--the--gunn]

Maybe I deserve to be treated like shit. You see, I can't tell when people are lying to me. No, I'm not kidding. I don't know. I believe everyone because I don't understand why people lie in the first place. Maybe I am gullible. Maybe I am naive. But I don't understand deception. So maybe all my friends want me gone, and maybe my boyfriend doesn't tell me I'm pretty because I'm not, and maybe he cheats on all the time. Because I wouldn't know. I would know idea. I am clueless about people.