#somniloquisms

[somniloquisms]

Do you understand we are being stalked by a muppet? Cuz if you look up in the tree you will see a muppet. An orange and white kind of bird muppet thing

-sleeping boyfriend

[somniloquisms]

Him: This planet is a Neapolitan.

Me: Why?

Him: (mumbling) Because it had the Neapolitan colors.

[somniloquisms]

This guys downstairs. Trying to rob us. Mumble mumble lock pick. Keeps trying to steal it.

Security guard startled me. Startled me. Yeah. Before then we were just trying to enjoy the apartment. I know if I go to sleep in the dream he is going to steal the thing. I thought no it’s an air hockey table. I’m not sure though. I’m worried if I open the door and the robbers are there they are going to kill me.

(At this point tears were streaming down my face and my uncontrollable laughter woke him up)

[somniloquisms]

Honey, are they racing sheep on ice skates?

[somniloquisms]

I want a shamrock shake.... f@ck Grimace

[somniloquisms]

“Somebody made little spiders out of the circles”

My boyfriend, asleep

[somniloquisms]

Him: I tried. Making the cable smaller. To go across the walkway so I wouldn’t be so obvious.

Me: why

Him: I don’t know.

Me: you don’t know.

Him: unh uh. Mumbes....Shit.

[somniloquisms]

Him: Some dude just came over and kissed you. Me: What? Him: Some dude, just came over and kissed you right now. Me: (lol) What are you talking about? Him: I don’t know, some dude, man.