Apr 9, 2018
recast gossip girl
the children are boring me, so we’ll do this entirely with parents:
melanie townsend as blair waldorf. the true queen.
amelia hyatt as serena van der woodsen. kind of a queen, mostly a mess.
maggie mcknight as chuck bass. owns hotels & makes terrible life choices, but we’re still somehow supposed to think she’s the victim.
xavier walsh as nate archibald. dumb. like. super dumb. but also pretty.
sonja hartman as jenny humphrey. we all know a wannabe when we see one.
keith carmichael as dan humphrey. puts forward the image of a good guy, but can we really trust him?
sebastian walsh as vanessa abrams. activists like to seem like they’re above all of this, but you’re still on vacation here with the rest of us.