SOTD#96: Children of Children by Jason Isbell
Early hours of the morning on Tuesday 5th April. Dozing, but not dreaming yet. Only dimly aware of the gentle strains of Jason Isbell lulling me to sleep.
It’s the first time in a long time that I’m unable to sleep, not because I’m stressed, or because something feels “off”, but because I am *excited*.
Work is hard and demanding but ridiculously rewarding and stimulating. Life is weird, and surprising and changing. Everyone’s fucking getting married or getting divorced or having epiphanies or winning awards or finding their feet or falling in love or buying houses or leaving home. Everyone around me is working their socks off to make stuff happen. My niece is about to start talking any day now. Every single day leaves me exhausted and laughing.
And I was just drifting off, hearing this track playing, sinking into absurd dreams about manuscripts and tigers and friends’ weddings and parties...
The strings kick in on the second minute, and they stirred me out of my haze. I became acutely aware of where I was in that moment, lying in bed, happy and busy and with no life plan ahead of tomorrow.
The song grew. The drums kicked it. The strings soared. The guitar wailed.
And it hit me like a hurricane.
Joy. But also fear. And excitement. And extreme grief. Leaving one life and launching into another, with no parachute.
Unless you count friends and family and music and love, which I do, in which case, the landing’s going to be sweeeeeeeeet....