#source: collectivefandomstuff

[incorrect-organization-xiii]

Zexion: [walks purposefully into the throne room where the rest of the organization is getting ready for a meeting] Good Evening, all

Everyone:

Xemnas: ... Good evening, Zexion.

Zexion: So, congratulations! You've all managed to reach the fucking limit of my GOD DAMNED patience. Well done Demyx for adding the last straw when you got crumbs INSIDE SEVERAL OF MY RARE BOOKS

Demyx, looking like a deer in headlights: uhh...

Zexion: In order to cleanse myself of this...

Zexion, through clenched teeth: unbridled. anger.

Zexion: I've decided to shanghai this meeting for my own needs

Marluxia, looking bored and yawning: to do what, exactly?

Zexion: I'm glad you asked

Zexion: [pulls a large stack of papers from his bag] these are some of your mission reports from the last year

Everyone:

Zexion: I'm going to go through them all, point out your mistakes and mock you mercilessly

Xigbar: why am I getting punished for Demyx’s inadequacies?

Zexion: You're responsible for at least 1/3 of this breakdown

Xaldin: What's stopping us from just leaving?

Zexion: If one of you leave, I'll still mock you in front of the whole organization, but you just won't know why everyone's laughing at you for the next two weeks

Zexion: If all of you leave I will rig all your technology to mock you in my place

XIon: [raises her hand]

Xion: Yes, Xion?

Xion: can I be excused? I do more good things for you than bad. I'll still stay and listen though

Zexion:

Zexion: an acceptable argument. You're excused.

Xion: [fist-pumps] Yisss

Xemnas: [starts getting up] In that case, I-

Zexion: sit. down.

[incorrect-organization-xiii]

Zexion: Well, I'm going to bed

Lexaeus: really?

Zexion: yeah, Vexen gave me these sleeping pills a few days ago so I'm trying to make sure that I get to bed early enough that I won't oversleep

Lexaeus: Oh, so you're finally sleeping again?

Zexion: Yeah

Zexion: 

Zexion: weird thing about that

Zexion: I got these pills and I was like "yeah!" and then I realized that they stole a third of my day. I'm so unproductive now

Lexaeus:

Lexaeus: You're the most dysfunctional person I know. 

Zexion: [gasps] you take that back! There’s no way I’m more dysfunctional than Vexen

Lexaeus: Vexen is not a person, he's an idea

Lexaeus: a really bad idea

[incorrect-organization-xiii]

Axel: Hey, what stories do you think real princesses like growing up? Like, do they like princess stories?

Xigbar: "Real princesses" *snorts*

Axel: Yeah?

Xigbar, smirking: Oh c'mon Axel, do you believe in unicorns too? leprechauns? fairies?

Axel: ...Xigbar.

Xigbar: What?

Axel: Xigbar. You do know that princesses ARE real, don't you? We’ve met some. Like we literally -

Xigbar: ... wait, I -

Axel: We’ve all met actual princesses before!

Xigbar: ... are you sure?

Axel, starting to smile: Pretty sure. I mean, Princess Cinderella? Princess Ariel? Princess Jasmine?

Xigbar: Okay, but it’s an easy mistake to make -

Axel, struggling to hold back his laughter: oh my god you thought princesses didn't exist?! You're a grown man who’s met actual princesses before and you thought "Oh, princesses? they're fictional, like unicorns and dragons-"

Xigbar: I just wasn’t thinking about them, okay, I was thinking about -

Axel: "- and fairies and elves and nymphs and armadillos and demons-"

Xigbar: I - wait.

Xigbar: You think ARMADILLOS are fictional??

Zexion, watching this conversation take place before he turns to look at Demyx: I cannot believe that you are one of the least embarrassing people in this room right now.

Demyx: ... yeah me neither.

[incorrect-organization-xiii]

Lexaeus: [walking through the castle. Stops in front of the door to one of the guest rooms because he can hear voices and music inside]

Lexaeus: [opens the door to see Larxene, Xion, Marluxia, and Demyx lounging around the room to the tunes of Taylor Swift]

Demyx, sitting on the bed and buffing his nails: Hi Lexaeus, what's up?

Lexaeus: I... Do I want to know what you’re doing?

Larxene, with an avocado face mask on, sipping a mimosa through a straw: We’re having girl’s night

Lexaeus, glancing pointedly at Demyx and Marluxia: Girls night?

Marluxia, doing Xion’s hair but stopping to drink his own margarita every few seconds: Not really girl’s night with only two people, so they invited me

Larxene: And Demyx felt left out

Lexaeus:

Lexaeus: Okay, but why are you in a guest room instead of one of your own bedrooms?

Demyx, glancing between two almost identical looking bottles of nail polish: Closer to the kitchen

Lexaeus: Oh

Lexaeus: Well, as long as you’re all staying safe

Larxene: What kind of danger could we possibly be in?

Lexaeus, serious: I'm going to level with you. I am an only child and I grew up around boys. I’m completely out of my element here, so when that happens, I just say “Well, as long as you’re staying safe,” and hope for the best.

Marluxia: That explains a lot, actually. While you’re here, do you want a margarita?

Lexaeus: I - no, I don’t want a margarita. Look, I just heard the noise when I was looking for Saix.

Saix, poking his head into the room from where he had been standing in the bathroom, face covered in a bright blue face mask and his hair done up in a towel: What?

Lexaeus:

Saix:

Lexaeus:

Xion, nodding knowingly and wiggling her toes in Lexaeus’s direction: He needed to exfoliate and he promised to help me paint my nails after

Lexaeus:

Lexaeus: Well, as long as you’re staying safe

[incorrect-organization-xiii]

Axel: [in a shrill voice, to Saix] How COULD you?!?! Think of the children! [dramatically sweeps arm toward Zexion, Xion, and Roxas] The CHILDREN, Saix! They are SCARED and UPSET and YOU WON’T EVEN ADMIT THAT YOU’RE AT FAULT

Roxas, to Xion: Are you scared and upset?

Xion: Not really, you?

Roxas: Not at the moment. Zexion?

Zexion: I’m upset that Axel thinks that I have the ability to experience fear.