my mil adopted a very clingy, very tiny, very cute, very gray lil boy kitten. he needs to be bottle fed every so often so i get to baby sit while she's at work. i've been loving having him over and taking care of him. but he reminds me so much of my sweet baby cat artemis. he curls up on my shoulder just how she liked to when she was a baby kitten. he's as clingy as she was (he's actually more clingy). and he's gray.
it hurts that he isnt my baby. it hurts that no one can be my baby. my baby is gone. i wish there was something i could have changed. but there's not a single thing i can control. i did everything i could for her, everything. we acted so fast each and every time she was sick. god why she should be okay. she was supposed to be okay. its hard living everyday without her. she was my reason to live
i just want my baby back. i want her to come back to me. i dont want to see her again on some fucking rainbow bridge. i dont even believe in god or heaven or anything. i want my baby here in the physical world with me. i dont want her as a guardian angel. i dont want her in my spirit family. i want her, here in the physical.
i was meant to care for her. she's my baby. what am i supposed to do now? what the fuck do i do now?
