#soz~

[hicestmors]

soRRY im over here right now. muse is strongest on tony atm. B)

[briarcliffeprince]

Just More Water to Fill My Lungs // Adam

Was this really the best of ideas? Zane must have asked himself that question at least a hundred times that weekend, and every time his mind had dismissed it without considering an answer, namely because he knew he wouldn’t like it. Sometimes it was easier to pretend that everything was perfect, that the world was still spinning exactly like it should and life was just peachy for the sixteen-year-old. But that would only work so long as he wasn’t alone, and without James in the room to occupy his thoughts with stories about England and rants about the culture shock that life in America was proving to be for the young royal, Zane was left to the mercy of his own demons. Sure, working on those papers had placed the siege of his mind in a stalemate for a while; but now he was done with both, and the troubles were making a comeback.

The pretext of tonight was that he needed to burn off some energy in order to get some proper sleep when he made it back to Briarcliffe. But even as he made it down the staircase, before so much as reaching the front door’s hundred-year-old threshold, Zane knew that was a lie; one he was having a harder time swallowing than usual. He was scared. He had been scared for a whole day now, and the fear didn’t appear to be showing any signs of relenting. All the same he had to power through. He still had a life to live, after all; obligations, classes, homework, Stella, his Briarcliffe Brothers. So that made tonight’s swim yet another effort to shove away the fear, keep the demons at bay, pretend that he was better put together than he actually was; because Zane Hudson isn’t allowed to have weaknesses. Not like everybody else is, at least.

He made the walk to the athletics building in silence, all the while wary of his surroundings, because in Windsor there was always someone looking to hurt you. But not tonight, it seemed. Tonight, Zane’s enemies weren’t the kind that could be seen, but they already had him flanked and cornered, and their offensive was merciless. He made it past the front door of the building and headed straight for the boys’ lockers, picking the one and rapidly changing out of his jeans and t-shirt and into a pair of board shorts he’d picked out from his closet on his way out. Three minutes later he was standing at the pool’s edge, staring cross-armed into the crystalline waters and wondering how warm they actually were yet not daring to dip a toe. Maybe it would be better they were cold. Maybe…