Part II: Athena Proxima
To her utmost surprise, no guards came to disturb her or her brother as she sang him to sleep every night. Perhaps they wanted to build up hope before breaking them down completely. But what is even more surprising, is how they have yet to take Chaerin to see anyone else. Her “conditioning” has solely taken place in her room. There is still drying blood on the walls to prove their thoroughness in their approach.
Years later Chaerin would recognize this as an effective psychological strategy--they were making her feel unsafe in the place she is meant to rest. Forcing her adrenaline to be at high levels almost constantly as well as raise her cortisol levels beyond what should be healthy. At first however, all it does is concern her and raise her anxiety for one thing only--her brother. He is taken away for most of the day and brought back at night by the same laughing, unimpressed guards.
This carries on for a week. Or is it two? Chaerin is starting to lose track, there aren’t any windows in her cell and she cannot tell the time. Any attempt to see a watch on a guard is useless and she doesn’t even bother asking them anything. Her first two days she nearly made herself hoarse as she demanded answers but was only met with fresh cuts, bruises and harshly whispered threats to mar her pretty face in all kinds of ways. Now, she spends most of her energy not with words but with actions, constantly clawing and biting at her captors, daring them to try and take her with force.
It is only after two weeks and she’s been sufficiently drugged that they finally drag her from her room. She tries to be coherent, to take in the facility as a whole, but the world spins around her and all she can see are white walls and laughing demon like faces. To this day, she can only remember the voices of the guards that led her down that path straight into her only solace and her greatest hell.
Years seemed to crawl by before she is finally thrown into a large room, the impact of her body crashing to the floor echoing in the seemingly empty space. A thin layer of grime covers everything in this large room without mercy and without bias. There are but three small windows situated at the ceiling, letting in only thin bands of light from their dirty panes. Her ears ring and body aches, and it takes her several minutes to realize there are other voices in the room. Dull, muttering tones of slightly confused and flustered voices, both feminine and masculine. No one dares to approach the new face however and Chaerin is left cold and nervous until she looks up.
There she finds six other faces, four males and two females from their appearance. They sit close together, without restraints. Their eyes seem to bore straight through Chaerin, digging deep into her soul and pulling back years of built up layers and restrictions. Somehow, Chaerin cannot force herself to look away and even finds comfort in the starring--some are even looking at her with sympathy. A few she dares to say even look healthy. Somehow.
One steps forward, he is fairy tall, lanky with pitch black hair that falls on his head in messy waves. He dares a smile when one of the others speaks to him. “Jaesoon, shouldn’t we wait?” The voice is nervous, fluttering but somehow still sweet and Chaerin realizes it comes from a boy who looks much younger than her--his eyes glassy as if he’s looking at something far away.
The one to stepped forward--Jaesoon--silently laughs, his shoulders shaking as he does so. There is mirth in the way he smiles now and Chaerin finds herself unable to look away from him and his gaze doesn’t stray from her either. “If they’re raising me to be a general then I will not wait like a dog.” He speaks his defiance easily, as if he knows there aren’t cameras or microphones in the room watching and listening to their every move. The other doesn’t protest any longer and even seems relieved by Jaesoon’s words. Without any further arguments from the others, Jaesoon walks over with slow, measured steps to Chaerin.
Unsure of what to do, Chaerin manages to pulls herself up to her knees and watches with wide eyes until Jaesoon stops in front of her and kneels down. Up close, his gaze is still intimidating, his eyes clear and bright, as if he carried some universal truth in them. “What’s your name?”
“Chaerin,” she mumbles with sudden self consciousness.
He doesn’t seem to mind or pretends not to notice. “Well Chaerin, welcome to the think tank. I’m Jaesoon, I’m not sure how long we’ll have till they give us our next orders but I wanted to introduce myself.” He pauses as if weighing something difficult in his mind, chewing on his lower lip as he contemplates his decision. “I wanted to let you know we’re not bad guys before the training starts.”
“Training?”
His eyes gloss over, although he is looking at Chaerin, she knows his mind is elsewhere. “A general must go through the most extensive of training. How can a leader afraid of pain and loss lead an army?” His words are robotic, without care or thought, as if he has said those lines over and over again to the point they almost lose meaning. Then, in an instant, he blinks and the glossy look disappears. “They’re going to try and make you hate us, don’t let them win, okay?” It takes Chaerin a minute to realize he is waiting for confirmation from her and when she realizes it she nods quickly. “Good. And remember,” he hesitates then places a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it lightly, “you are Chaerin. Not Athena. Despite what they’ll tell you over and over again.”
All Chaerin can do is manage another small nod as she fears her voice betraying her nervousness and uncertainty. Still, the other sees something in her that he approves of and he nods, then stands and offers his hand to her. Somehow she feels...okay?
This does not last for long.
When the other had mentioned that the doctors would try to make her hate everyone in the room, she hadn’t realized the intensity of it until the training truly began.
Each of them are dragged in different directions by their own cell mates, no one daring to protest or scream for help. As if they have accepted their fate. Chaerin wants to scream, she wants to claw her way out, but Jaesoon’s words still her. Her curiosity gets the better of her.
One of the girls, Hyerin who Chaerin decides is very beautiful in the delicate sort of way, is made to lead her to a bath of ice water. There, Chaerin is thrown in--still clothed--and held underwater for until she begins to thrash about. When she is brought up, the light is blinding, her body is shivering and she realizes Hyerin is the one who pushed her in. Just as she can barely catch her breath, she realizes that the doctor on the side is asking her a question. When she doesn’t answer in a timely manner--mostly because her ears are still ringing--she is forced into the water again.
This continues on for what seems like days but in reality is a few hours. The questions grow increasingly aggressive as time drags on. Things such as, “Who is it you serve?” and, “What is your duty to this facility?” Those are how it begins before changing to questions of the world, seeking answers to philosophical ideas Chaerin has never heard of in her life. A few she manages to sputter out between chattering teeth but it does her little good other than to give her an additional few seconds to catch her breath.
This is their first lesson of grace under pressure. Initiation by fire or in this case ice cold water.
When her body is too cold to even react anymore, they pull her out of the bath and onto the floor, shivering and desperate for some sort of comfort. She isn’t foolish enough to wish for it however, realizing that instead she must endure whatever is to come next if she is to get any answers from the others. That is the only thing that keeps her mind safe in that moment.
“You went too soft on her Hyerin. There is no room for pity in this military. Be a dear and allow the guards to take you to the correction room.”
Chaerin is barely able to register Hyerin’s violent disapproval, kicking at the guards and clawing her way free. One guard is actually sent through a wall and Chaerin watches in shock and mild horror. So this is what they are doing to people then? Turning them into super soldiers? What will she turn in to? There isn’t much time for Chaerin to think about this, before she is dragged bt a guard to a cage.
Thrown inside, her body hits the steel bars with a clang and she crumples to the ground in a boneless heap. Whatever reprieve she was hoping for doesn’t come. Instead the sound of something dragging on the ground reaches her ears, and just as she looks up, she gets a face full of scalding water. Turning sharply, she howls in pain while someone yells at her to keep quiet, to learn grace under pressure, to not let them see how much something hurts her.
It doesn’t work.
When they stop, her skin is burning, welts are all over her body and it feels as though she will never catch her breath. Wheezing, coughing and sputtering, they take her to another room where she is promised the punishments will be less harsh, where she will “learn” and grow as Athena, as the new prodigy of the division. The room they lead her to is almost like a classroom, with a white board and desks. She is chained next to the boy who had spoken out to Jaesoon earlier. Now that she’s able to get a good look at him, she sees the burns on his arms, the scarring on his face. Despite this he looks unaffected by the fresh blood on his clothes and stares defiantly at their “teacher” who stands at the front of the room.
“I’m Hyunwoo,” he mutters to her as the guards fiddle with something at the front desk, “whatever you do, don’t show sympathy for me.” Is all he manages to say to her.
Chaerin has little time to think. She is strapped to her chair and has electrodes taped down to her skin. There is no explanation given, but for each time she gets an answer wrong--which is often--the teacher flips a switch and it feels as if her muscles are contracting in on themselves, shriveling up like death. At first, she doesn’t follow Hyunwoo’s advice. Whenever he answers a question wrong, which is significantly less than her, she protests his treatment which results in the switch being flipped on her as well. It takes her until halfway through the four hour session to learn her place.
By the time she is returned to the large room, the slivers of sun have long since disappeared and the room feels colder than before. She would realize later they would turn the temperature up and down at will in order to gauge their reactions. At least she is not alone in her broken and beaten feeling, even Jaesoon returns with bright splotches of purple all over his skin and freshly dried blood on his clothes.
The girl from before, Hyerin, shuffles over to Chaerin and whispers broken apologies to which Chaerin can only respond with apologies as well. She swears that next time she’ll answer the questions better, that she’ll endure it better. Hyerin seems surprised by the resilience of the newest member of their group and asks if she’s experienced the change yet. Chaerin’s surprise is the only answer she needs.
Weeks pass in this manner. Chaerin only knows through Eunji, the other girl with a bright smile and warm aura. She possesses the fascinating ability to see the world in numbers--she knows every number right down to the millisecond, it disturbs Chaerin at first but she soon comes to rely on it. And Eunji is not the only one.
Hyerin possesses near perfect human condition, her body in peak physical form at all times despite the malnourished life they endured. Hyunwoo is able to quell others at the mere sound of his voice and Jaesoon has a highly strategic mind, more so that the rest. The other girl Yull, has the remarkable ability of telekinesis though the transformation costed her vision in one eye. And the final of the circle, Hyunseong is the most startling, his ability to read minds and communicate with telepathy terrifies Chaerin the first time it happens. It apparently developed when they cut off his tongue for slander. If that isn’t the biggest fuck you to the system that Chaerin has seen in months, she doesn’t know what is.
Despite what the facility wants, they all remain close to one another in their own way. They aren’t a particularly affectionate group but brief touches on the shoulder mean so much more than hugs and other affection to them. They have to be careful, anyone who shows too much attachment is reprimanded harshly--by one of them in return. Chaerin has already been made at threat of death to whip Jaesoon back into submission when he swings at a guard for an insult.
She’s not sure if he actually forgives her or not.
Though if he doesn’t the favor is often returned. Chaerin never stops asking about her brother or trying to get away for just one minute to try and find him. It’s nearly killed her once or twice and still her mutation doesn’t show. Still her body refuses the transformation into the imitation of the grey eyed goddess.
Still, she makes new attachments, particularly with Hyerin and Jaesoon who are closest to her in age. Two escape attempts are made by the group but only end up serving as “lessons” to create better plans and strategies. The facility has no idea what they are creating. It is no surprise then when after a month, Hyerin is suddenly taken from the group for failure to answer all the questions on their latest “exam” right. Only a gripped hand on the back of her shirt stops Chaerin from lashing out.
The doctor that oversees all of them more often than not stops in a few hours after Hyerin is taken away. “Now children, what did we say about performance?”
It takes the crackling of a taser to get everyone to stand at attention and answer the question in dull unison. “Anything less than perfect is expendable.”
He smiles wickedly, yellow, cracked teeth showing. “Very good. You will have combat drills at 0400 hours. At ease.” The door slams behind him with a deafening clang and no one dares to move or even breathe until his footsteps fade away.