#spaceship irl

[pseudospaceship]

Everyone is always all "I wish I had a fruit tree in my yard :) lets get fruit trees :) free fruit UwU."

Nobody is going to tell you this so I will, my sweet babies. You do not have enough friends for all the fruit. You just don't. You will make enough jam for a village and still freeze bags of fruit to make jam with later. If you are very diligent/have children to do the work for you MAYBE you will pick half the fruit before it falls and rots. Your yard will smell like prison hooch all September.

On the upside maybe you can watch the birds get drunk.

[pseudospaceship]

Sometimes at my Very Professional Job I hear myself say stuff like, "If we're using the same budget as the last draft that's no problem," and I wonder how I became an adult who says shit like that.

[pseudospaceship]

I'm a freelance copyeditor in my spare time, and this publisher is asking me what my "greatest strengths" are to put in their pool database.

Does one come right out and say "spelling, punctuation, and grammar"? Those are 100% baseline for this job, but will it look weird if I DON'T say it? I have much more niche skills that are going on the list.

[pseudospaceship]

I need a week off to stare into the distance and then three more weeks off to actually get things done

[pseudospaceship]

I am just tech-savvy enough that tools meant to appeal to Very Nontechnical people drive me into a rage, but not enough to use the actual professional versions

[pseudospaceship]

Got my unread work emails down to 6 today!

[pseudospaceship]

Someone tell me why a pint of cider at 2pm gets me white girl wasted

[pseudospaceship]

Academia is weird because you'll be in a meeting for a totally boring administrative thing with people from a few other schools, and one of them will just happen to have written the article you're assigning your students in week 5 of next fall's syllabus.