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@pseudospaceship
Send him love if yall still adore him. 💚
I cannot decide if this would be REALLY out of character or weirdly IN character for Emmrich. Either way, this immediately appeared in my head when I saw all the coffin sex talk.
My sister is an Egyptologist and I've been living with her for three years. The "coffin vs. sarcophagus" thing gets brought up weirdly often. This was the explanation I got:
Coffin - usually made of wood, goes into the ground, or *inside* a sarcophagus (which is what ancient Egyptians did with their high ranking mummies)
Sarcophagus - made of stone, stays above ground.
Of course, this now begs the question: coffin or sarcophagus, why the heck was there a plush lining inside that body box shown in the cutscene? The only logical answer: it is, in fact, the Sex Sarcophagus (the Sexcophagus, if you will) specifically made for really horny necromancers who just HAVE to do it right then and there in the Necropolis. I mean, it's in a place called The Vault of the BELOVED, for Maker's sake.
Not that I'm complaining, mind you.
everyone here needs to know that "sarcophagus" means "body eater" and do with that knowledge whatever you want
You know, when I've remarked that a lot of the responses to my posts feel like people are just plucking out keywords they think they recognise based on the shape of them and replying to what they imagine the post says based on that, the possibility never occurred to me that this is actually how many American schools are currently teaching kids to read.
Like, my assumption this whole time has been that when folks go "I misunderstood this post that says [thing] as saying [unrelated thing] because I mistook [word] for [completely different word that happens to start with the same letter]", that was a bit. What do you mean they're teaching kids a reading method that's tailored to produce this exact error?
Three cueing. Once you learn about it, a whole lot of very frustrating online discourse with US Americans makes so much sense 😭
For decades, schools have taught children the strategies of struggling readers, using a theory about reading that cognitive scientists have
If you were taught to read with the three cueing method, and now struggle to read fluently, you can still learn to read properly!
-> Phonics For Adults <-
If you're a teenager, you can still use this resource.
(from the APM Reports piece, quoting the originator of the 3-cueing theory) "He brought up the example of a child who comes to the word 'horse' and says 'pony' instead [because they're using pictures or context, not phonics, to decide what words are on the page]. His argument is that a child will still understand the meaning of the story because horse and pony are the same concept."
NOOOOOOOOOOO oh my god holy shit this is bad you guys
“Watch yourself, Volkarin!” Johanna cackled from the hallway. Her arms full of books, her absurd goggles pushed up into the dizzying array of hair that she had never considered taming for anyone.
Emmrich jumped, jabbing his thumb with a bone threader and sighed in irritation. His oldest friend stood unrepentant in the doorway of his workroom, waiting for his response. Behind her the rush of young humanity hurried to their next classes.
“To what do I owe your kind visit, Jo?” He asked, sucking the blood from his thumb, and straightening from the table where what would one day be a full skeleton lay.
His curious wisp friend rang little bells of irritation and zipped into the ribcage.
“They’re giving you the Tevinter brat,” Johanna said gleefully.
Emmrich frowned, “who?”
“The Irritating little altus whelp. He needs to take a course on spirit binding, and you’re it. Watcher Holickmore won’t touch him with a ten foot pole.”
He wracked his memory and found only irritation at the interruption.
“I don’t recall any news of—“
“If you would speak to a living person once in a while, instead of just dead ones you might learn some relevant gossip ,” Jo sneered.
“Haha. I recall you were reading a book on a completely irrelevant topic last staff meeting…”
“Rumor says he’s been sent here to get him out of the way.” Johanna continued, “his family currently finds him embarrassing.”
“Which family?” Nevarran nobility was bad enough. If he had to deal with Tevinter…
“Peacock, Plagueis, something like that,” Jo pushed off the door and skived off. “I’d wish you good luck but even you’re not that pathetic.”
Emmrich turned back to the ribcage.
His wisp shot up to hover at eye level.
“She’s getting mean,” Emmrich told them.
His wisp flared in agreement.
I literally just woke up with this image in my mind.
Listen, obviously it was funny. Brennan Lee Mulligan knows how to deliver a joke. But if you haven't lived in northern California/southern Oregon, I can't explain to you how hilarious "Medford" is as an answer to "If you could go anywhere, where would you go?"
Someone tell me why a pint of cider at 2pm gets me white girl wasted
Emmrich Volkarin 💚
Emmrich is waiting, you guys.
Usually he is quite a patient man. One must be with the dead.
But this is trying even his good will. .
“Rook we have been to three different blacksmith shops this morning alone,” he protests as Rook veers to the left where a sign promises “Genuine Dragon Hide Hilt Wraps!”
Lucanis does not help. Lucanis’s eyes light up more than Spite’s and he follows Rook with the anticipation of a much younger person spotting candy.
Rather than be dragged after them, Emmrich releases Rook’s hand, and sighs as Rook answers his protest with a weak, “Just one more, Em. Promise.”
And so he finds a shaded fountain to sit beside. And he waits.
He is only there a short while when a woman, surrounded by a small brood of excited children settles beside him, sets down numerous bags of shopping.
“You don’t mind, do you love?” she says, with the unabashed openness of most of the people of Rivain. “This road is murder on my feet.”
It takes Emmrich half a moment to realise she is addressing him and not one of the half dozen, chattering urchins bouncing around her.
“Oh, not at all, please,” Emmrich motions to the public fountain into which two of the children have already climbed.
“A hot day,” she says conversationally, “but there’s so much to do, and the weather waits for no man, nor woman.”
“Indeed,” Emmrich concedes, glancing down at the punishing sun. He’s grateful now that Taash insisted he cake himself in the cream meant to protect one’s skin from burning.
Her children play for a few moments as she fans herself and they watch the lively activity.
“Do you have any little ones?” she asks.
Manfred, immediately springs to mind. He is spending the day with Bellara, examining the artifacts they gathered from Arlathan last week. No doubt they are elbow bone deep in cogs by now.
The woman see’s Emmrich’s reminiscent smile, “tell me of them.”
By the time Rook and Lucanis wander from the shop, clutching their purchases, they are anticipating at the very least a disapproving tut, and maybe some foot tapping.
Instead they find a smiling Emmrich, surrounded by a dozen entranced children, watching the little dragon he has created from water fly in the air, running and shrieking when it sprays them. No less than four grateful parents are soaking their feet in the fountain.
“Gods, he’s cute,” Rook says and hurries off to that fruit seller Emmrich likes. It’s almost lunchtime and he’ll be hungry after an audience like this.
Spite snorts, but watches the show raptly.
I’ve finished the first act of Dragon Age: Inquisition. I want to share screenshots from my playthrough with you! 😊
Are we all aware that Astarion Baldur's Gate's Charisma is only 10? Like, a +0 modifier, my droogs. Asterion is canonically Not Charismatic.
What if his whole snarly-slithery "look at me I'm a sexy bad-boy vampire" thing isn't the writers' idea of an actual sexy vampire, but Astarion's idea of an actual sexy vampire, and truly the best he can manage?
i dont care if monday sucks... tuesday cost me sixty bucks... wednesday thursday give no fucks. it's friday im a duck
I could do for Ilya Rozanov what the Emmrook fandom did for Emmrich Volkarin. That is to say, I could give him a cocaine problem that never quite resolves itself.
Rook talks in their sleep, you guys.
Emmrich discovers it one evening after a long day exploring ruins in Arlathan. Rook and Bellara had been twitching with excitement the whole journey home, Emmrich has no doubt that Bellara will be up all night cataloging and documenting their discoveries.
So he is a little surprised when Rook curls against him in bed and goes to sleep almost at once.
Enjoying the weight of them, and the warmth, the necromancer opens the book on Veil translocation frequencies that he has been reading.
All is well and peaceful.
For about half an hour.
“Gonna get him.”
Emmrich glances down at the head resting against his chest.
“Rook?” there is no response.
He goes back to his reading.
“Gonna kill em so dead. Just you wait. I have the stabbiest daggers.”
Slightly alarmed, the necromancer lifts his book and turns his head so that he can see Rook’s face. It is serene, and deeply asleep, breaths soft and even.
“Stabbiest?” Emmrich prompts softly.
Rook’s brows wrinkle the slightest bit. “The absolute stabbiest. Lucanis told me so.”
Suppressing a laugh, he decides to capitalize on this a little. After all, Rook does so love to catch him off guard with compliments and such. It’s only fair that he get a little of his own back.
“And who exactly are you stabbing this evening, my dear?”
“Venatori bastards!” Rook says with such volume and conviction that it echoes through Emmrich’s ribcage, making him jump a little.
“So you did,” he says, tamping down the violence lest Rook reach for the dagger he knows is currently under their pillows, “You killed them very dead, dearest. I saw.”
Rook makes a pleased sound and somehow curls further into him. The book is set aside, forgotten. “I saw you saw,” Rook murmurs.
Oh.
“You did?”
“Mmmmmmmhm,” Rook sighs happily, wrapping around him like a ribbon on a present. “Watching with your stoopid perfect hair, and your stoopid beautiful face. Tall…Gonna get him.”
“You already did, my dear. I don’t think he can get any deader than—ROOK!”
The bite is small, but painful. And soothed a moment later as Rook murmurs an apology, and presses a kiss to the spot.
Emmrich waits for something more, but the only sound is the commencement of a soft snore.
Congratulations to all the church historians whose families are finally going to want to hear about their research at Thanksgiving this year!