#sparksblogging

[betweentimeand42]

a report from Glasgow

This week, I came back from a two-week vacation to Scotland, and while most of that will remain fairly private since it’s not the kind of thing I usually talk about on here, I do think one of the things I did on vacation is worthy of a full write-up… The Sparks concert at the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall!! 

There are three important things that you need to understand about this concert. One: The flight that I had booked to take me from America to Scotland was supposed to arrive in Glasgow around 2 PM on June 24th- aka, the day of the concert. Two: On June 23rd, I got sick. I’d had a sore throat the day before, and by the following day, I was coughing, sneezing, and flat-out exhausted- basically unable to do anything but lie in bed. (It wasn’t COVID, though- I think it was a resurgence of a terrible cold that I had caught a few months ago, because the symptoms were exactly the same and the COVID test was negative.) For a while, I wasn’t even sure if I should go on this trip, let alone to the concert. But the third and most important thing to understand about this concert is this: I had booked this trip before the concert was even announced. I knew I couldn’t cancel something that I’d been planning for so long, especially since I would probably feel better after a few days and then I would be stuck at home for two weeks, doing nothing. So, loaded up on all the medicine and supplements that I could find, with a mask plastered to my face and the passenger seat reclined all the way back, I had my stepfather drive me to the airport.

I won’t bore you with the details of the flight, but I’ll just say this- if I ever start contemplating a red-eye flight again, please take me by the shoulders and shake some sense into me. Fortunately, aside from my inability to sleep (no thanks to the VERY talkative flight attendants in the cabin behind me, one of whom apparently had chosen that night of all nights to tell his coworkers his entire life story), the trip itself was not so bad. Due to The World’s Fastest Layover in Iceland, I ended up arriving in Glasgow ahead of schedule. My immediate impressions of the city were that it didn’t seem so different from my hometown… while we were on the highway, anyway. As soon as we got into town, I looked around at the architecture and realized that I wasn’t in [HOMETOWN] anymore, Toto.

The hotel I had picked out was in a lovely little spot, and the room was lovely too! Not that I could focus on that, because the instant I’d arrived in Glasgow, my thoughts were consumed with two excitements- meeting my Sparks bestie, the Girl From Germany; and going to the Sparks show. The former happened before the latter, and to me, it felt like a reunion even though it was the first time we had actually met in person. Over a cuppa, we traded thoughts on what we’d like to hear played at the show. My number one song (in Heaven) was “Goofing Off,” the song that had made me severely flip out when Sparks played it during their set at Non-Comm. To be honest, that was the only song I could think of that I really wanted to hear…

After browsing a record shop and grabbing some bomb-ass Indian food, we made it to the Royal Concert Hall. For weeks, I had been nervous at the thought of queuing for the show, since 1. Sparks are arguably more popular in the UK than in the US, and 2. I had never been to a Sparks show where I had standing tickets, not seated. Upon arrival, however, my fears turned out to be unfounded, because the line in front of the concert hall was surprisingly short! Keep in mind, we had arrived maybe an hour and a half in advance… It also wasn’t long after we joined the queue that we were let in, for which I was grateful. What I was NOT grateful for, however, was the security guard who said we had to bin our leftover Indian food. Despite GFG’s efforts in asking if we could leave it at wardrobe, they said there wasn’t a wardrobe. So I had to bid an upsetting farewell to my tikka masala.

I had thought, upon entry to the venue, that we would be allowed to mingle in the lobby, but that the house wouldn’t actually be open until it was closer to showtime. That… did turn out to be the case, but the lobby was so different from most typical venue lobbies that I felt very confused and a bit lost. Instead of a concession/merch stand right at the front and several doors opening into the house, there was a flight of stairs leading up into another room, which was NOT the house. More confusion ensued as we went to find the bathrooms, which felt almost as if we were heading backstage. “I feel like we could run into Ron and Russell back here!” I commented, to which GFG replied that I shouldn't say such things, as she did not want that to happen. I’ll let her keep her own reasons to herself, but as for me, I quickly realized it would not be very pleasant to run into these people I admire while in a mad dash for the toilets. 

Back in the lobby, I put up a poster for the show that I saw had fallen down… only to realize that it wasn’t for the Glasgow show, but one in Edinburgh, which I hadn’t even realized was happening. Something about the fact that they were advertising for a different show other than the one we were going to felt very funny to me (although, I guess if it were the same show, there wouldn’t be any point in advertising it, because the only people who would see that poster were the people going to the show). Then we entered the mysterious room at the top of that steps that I had seen earlier, to find that this was where the rest of the queue had gone. Everyone was lined up in front of a pair of doors which I could only assume led into the house. Okay, now we’re getting somewhere… Maybe? This was the door where they gave us wristbands, which suddenly made the show feel more Official to me, whatever that means. Then, once everyone was wristband’ed up, they let us through the door. Which did not, in fact, lead to the house, but led to the merch table. By this point I was thinking “What the hell kind of venue is this??” but the sight of merch was enough to calm the utter bafflement that had accrued over the last hour. 

The first thing I saw at the merch table, which delighted me to no end, was the Sparks JanSport Backpack. I guess I had completely missed that when the merch was first posted online, because I found it to be a wonderful surprise. The one merch item that I did remember was the one I ended up getting- the MAD! stress ball. I also got the vinyl record, naturally- the black standard version, partly because I like the artwork the best on it and partly because it was the cheapest option.

While I was standing at the merch table, debating my options, I heard someone call my name from behind me. Turning around, I discovered @pineapplefulfillseveryneed standing there! Knowing that they were attending the show, I had assumed that they were running late to the venue and that’s why I didn’t see them in line, but when they expressed just as much surprise over me having arrived inside so quickly, my friend and I realized what had happened. Apparently there had been TWO queues into the venue. Again, I wondered… “What the hell kind of venue is this??” Compounding my confusion was our seeming inability to find the actual entrance into the house. One way led to the bar (where a surprising amount of people were gathered), and one way led to a cafe. However, just beyond the cafe was… yet another line! But this one actually led into the house, so we had finally made it to where we were going.

Hanging out in the queue felt like a party, thanks to all the cool people there. I distributed homemade bracelets to Pineapple, @dinkydiamond, @parts-of-me-unraveling, and @where-did-the-groove-go. In return, WDTGG let me take my pick of the Sparkslets they had made and some Sparkslets that Archeolatry had made. Coupled with the Sparkslets I was already wearing (made by @bawnjourno), my wrists were fully decked out! (I had even made a friendship bracket for myself, but alas, it was the only one I had made that didn’t fit at all. At least it was my bracelet and not one made for anyone else!) I also met some cool people to whom I hadn’t already spoken online. Yay, expanding the circle of friendship! 

As sick as I had been 24 hours earlier, and as jet-lagged as I probably was, I was starting to feel more and more excited for the show- probably running on sheer adrenaline. (In fact, that was my response when I got asked how I wasn’t jet-lagged. Funnily enough, I’ve had MUCH more difficulty adjusting to the time zone change now that I’m home… In Scotland, I never really had a problem. And everyone with whom I’d discussed it told me that going home would be an easier change…)  Aloud, I began to muse that this would be the closest I had ever been to the stage at a Sparks show. For my first show, I had been up in the balcony, and for my second show, we were about seven rows back. GFG asked what we were supposed to do when we were that close to the stage. She made a joke about throwing our bras onstage like an audience at a Spinal Tap gig, which made me think that we should do the opposite of what the guy does during what is, in my opinion, the funniest scene in that movie (the scene where they’re playing the free-form jazz piece, and the guy in the front row is sitting there making a thumb’s down gesture). Instead of a thumb’s down, we should give Sparks a thumb’s up and yell that they’re doing great. 

I had no idea how big the “standing section” was going to be when I bought tickets to the concert- I just knew that I wanted to be on the floor. Most concert hall-type venues that I’ve been to are mainly seated on the floor, maybe with a tiny space between the seats and the stage up at the front, so I hadn’t been sure of what to expect at the Royal Concert Hall. Of course, since the venue as a whole had pretty much defied all my expectations, I should have known that the standing section would fall along those same lines. It was huge! Almost as if it were a regular theater, but the seats had been removed for the show (and if I’m not mistaken, I think I heard someone say that the venue has set up the floor with seats before?). But what made it different from other such venues that I’ve seen was that there were still several rows of seats towards the back of the hall.

We ended up in the second row. At first I lined myself up with the center of the stage, but I quickly realized that I wouldn’t be able to see over the tall people in front of me, so I headed over to stage right to stand behind POMU (who assured me that there would be no trouble in seeing over her, as we were about the same height). It was around that time that one of the fans we had been talking to disappeared. When he came back, he said that he had put some stuff away at wardrobe. Wait……. But the security guard outside the venue told us there was no wardrobe……. The fan explained that they only opened it when there were a lot of people at a concert who needed it. GFG promptly went off to drop some stuff off at wardrobe, while I began to scheme about seeking justice for my poor tikka masala. 

The show began only a couple minutes late. If I hadn’t been watching the clock, I probably wouldn’t have even noticed it. As with the last tour, some very cinematic music began to play shortly before the band hit the stage. Last time, it was an instrumental version of “Take Me For a Ride.” This time, I didn’t recognize it. (For the record, I think “I-405 Rules” would make for some really fun entrance music.) And then… There they were! Eli, Evan, Max, and Not-Stevie! (Just kidding, I didn’t know his name at first, but I know now that it’s Darren.) And then… Ron and Russell!! Coming from stage right, so they went right past where I was!! I had been hoping for Russell to wear his blue suit, but he had on his red one, which was still very nice. Once everyone had situated themselves properly, Russell came to the front of the stage and asked, “Glasgow! May we start?” I think I shouted “Yes!” amidst all the cheering… And they did start. (I know it’s part of the song, but I think it’s cute that they always ask our permission. What if we all yelled “no” instead? Would the show have to end?)

SO MAY WE START

The first thing I noticed about this performance wasn’t even the song itself, or anything the band was doing, but rather the audience. Or, more specifically, Pineapple & DD’s immediate synchronized bouncing! As soon as they started up, I thought “oh, this is going to be fun!” and began to bob along to the rhythm. I don’t think there was any surprise over what the opening song would be- SMWS is simply the perfect choice on so many levels. For me, it became a call-and-response when the backing vocals came in- I was singing “may we start, may we start, may we now start?” back to Russell. (Although that isn’t much of a response, because it’s just saying the same thing Russell is saying.) During both of the big “so- may- we- START” moments, Russell was closer to the center of the stage, so if he did a big jump, I couldn’t see it very well. But I definitely did a big jump during both of those moments! It was so fun! (What wasn't fun was not being able to see Ron over the heads of all the people further down the barrier. I didn't really notice it until Russell moved over to where Ron was during "the authors are here, so let's not show disdain," and then I was disappointed that I couldn't see Ron. At least there were a few opportunities to see him later in the show!)

The cheering at the end of that song led right into...

2. DO THINGS MY OWN WAY

When this single came out, I wasn't too enthralled. In the months since it was released, I've come to appreciate it a little more... but it's definitely not one of my favorite tracks from MAD! But hearing it live was such an improvement! I don't know if it was Russell's hypnotic moves (I particularly loved seeing him pretend to roll the dice when he sang about rolling the dice, and in general, I loved his power stance- you know the one), or how sick the guitar sounded, or what, but "Do Things My Own Way" was certainly more enjoyable to me at the concert than it is on the record.

I can't remember if it was before the next song, or after the next song, or a little ways into the set when Russell first addressed the audience. And I also can't remember exactly what he said. Probably something very standard about how the band was happy to be in Glasgow. Well, guess who else was happy to be in Glasgow? ME.

3. REINFORCEMENTS

Onwards to the first big surprise of the night!! Based on the last two times I saw them, I feel like it never takes long for Sparks to drop a completely unexpected song- but then again, what makes a song so unexpected, when they have so many songs on their catalog to choose from? Is it because, to the best of my knowledge, "Reinforcements" was never released as a single? Anyway, just like with the preceding song, I wasn't quite sure how to dance to it, but it sure was fun to watch the band perform it. I couldn't help but wonder after the performance if the choice of this song was some kind of political statement, as I've always seen it as one of their most politically-charged songs (though I'd never read the full lyrics until I looked them up literally just now... and not only did I mishear a lot of them, but WOW, Ron can write!). Little did I know there would be a much more clear-cut political statement later in the set...

4. ACADEMY AWARD PERFORMANCE

Oh hell yeah!! I had guessed that this song might be played on tour, because I had seen Sparks perform it on the livestream from Non-Commvention, the radio industry convention. I was so happy to discover that I was right!! This was so much fun to dance to- I was having an absolute blast. Some of my favorite parts were when Russell pumped his fist to the "pew pew pew pew" parts before each chorus, and everyone singing along to the "hoo hoo hoo hoo" backing vocals during the instrumental break.

5. GOOFING OFF

As soon as the violin intro started (though sadly, there was no actual violin onstage), I heard GFG exclaim "YES!!!" And I was just as excited!!! Ever since Sparks performed at Non-Commvention, I had been hoping and wishing and praying to hear "Goofing Off" live. AND THEN I DID!!! The stop-and-start nature of the tempo was VERY fun, and just as I had expected, it brought me IMMENSE joy to shout "Hey! Hey! Hey!" along with Russell during the break. Ugh, I wish I could relive this performance, it was so good...

6. BEAT THE CLOCK

Before beginning this song, Russell talked about how they were now going to do a song from an album they had made back in 1979 with Giorgio Moroder. Naturally, I was very excited about hearing another song from No. 1 In Heaven- there's not a bad song on that album. (Yeah, there are only 6 songs on it, sshhhh... doesn't mean that's not an impressive statement.) They really couldn't have gone wrong with any of the songs they had picked, but I was so happy that they went with "Beat the Clock!" I'm pretty sure I was bouncing around a lot during the choruses, and I kept waving my fingers in the air every time I heard that one keyboard part on each verse that sounds like a shimmering oil slick. (I'd also like to note that next to me on my right side was a young girl and her father, who had been lowkey getting on my nerves because they kept turning around to take selfies with the band in the background. It didn't seem like they were actually into the concert, just the fact that they were at a Sparks show. However, GFG told me later that the father went nuts during "Beat the Clock!" I was too busy going nuts myself, but that was a delightful thing to know.)

7. PLEASE DON'T FUCK UP MY WORLD

Russell introduced this song by saying that when it was written, he and Ron had thought that things in the world couldn't get any worse than they had been at the time. Ha... Hahahahaha. It was very interesting to hear Russell outright refer to current political events, because I don't think I've ever heard him do so before onstage. (I do remember the introduction that Ron gave before "Baby, Baby, Can I Invade Your Country?" from Dee Vee Dee, when he said that Sparks aren't known for being political, but that the next song was a political one. But that felt more like a statement of fact than an admission of political leanings.) In general, I know Sparks like to keep certain personal beliefs of theirs private, and they haven't done a lot of outright campaigning/protesting/speaking out, at least not in public. So for Russell to refer to current events onstage shows just how bad things have gotten. Then again, I was also anticipating something like this, because I had noticed it from other artists who I've seen live this year. Punch Brothers, when I saw them, played "This is the Song" in what I'm sure was supposed to be a comforting statement during these sickening times- "Good luck, these are tough times, but we'll get by." And Chris Thile, whose solo set from Telluride Bluegrass Festival I watched, played his "we all hate Trump, right?" song called "Falsetto," with lyrical changes that reflected the present-day climate (as opposed to that of 2017 when he originally wrote the song). Granted, those are just two examples, and both of them involve Chris Thile so it could just be him making his own statement. But Sparks are American, and they're human (as unbelievable as that might seem), so I wasn't hugely surprised that they had something to say. And what song did they choose to speak to the times? Not a comforting "we'll get through this" ballad. Not a "I'm so pissed off at this country and the way it's being run" rocker (they could have played "Hit Me, Baby" if they'd wanted that, although that song is more full of straight-up horror at the daily news cycle than righteous rage). No... They chose the incredibly poignant plea of "Please Don't Fuck Up My World." For some reason, hearing it in the context of the concert, it was the "please" that really got me. Such a polite request- can't SOMEONE use the head on their shoulders and honor it?? I think I spent most of the performance with my hand over my heart. It also felt like I should be seated instead of standing. At the end, Russell broke out into the children's choir part, and I swear to god, he sounded JUST LIKE one of the children. I've always suspected Sparks of beefing up their backing vocals with recorded tracks, but this time, I really think Russell was just singing THAT well. It was incredible!

8. RUNNING UP A TAB AT THE HOTEL FOR THE FAB

I think the introduction to this song was where Russell began to butter up the Glasgow audience by telling them that MAD! had gone to Number One in Scotland, and that it had reached Number One in that country more quickly than it had climbed the charts anywhere else. He then said that it had only reached Number Two in England... and I think some people started booing that? To which Russell, after walking back to the area where the backing band was situated, glanced over his shoulder and said, in the most edgy teenager way: "Suck it!!" Wild cheering ensued. Somehow, that attitude was a perfect fit for the next song (if, in fact, it was this song that he introduced in such a way- I really can't remember). The first time I heard "Running Up a Tab..." was also on that Non-Comm livestream, and I loved it instantly. I just knew it would make for an excellent live performance. And it DID!! The guitars in particular sounded so amazing.

9. SUBURBAN HOMEBOY

I don't remember what sparked this conversation before the show (I think it was me talking about "Happy Hunting Ground" and how I love that song, but it also makes me feel uncomfortable because the guy in that song is such a sleazeball, and GFG asked if it was the same as how "Suburban Homeboy" is such a fun and catchy song, but it makes her feel uncomfortable because the guy in that song is appropriating Black culture), but GFG and I had been talking about "Suburban Homeboy" and Ron's love of hip hop music. So, because we had been talking about it so recently, I didn't find "Suburban Homeboy" to be that surprising, as if I had known it was in the set the whole time. What WAS surprising, however, was that Ron spoke the lyrics! First off, I was happy to finally have a clear view of him, and secondly... RON SPEAKING LYRICS!! I love him so much! I waved my hands around at the end of every verse. It felt so funny to be dancing to the lively music, while Ron was delivering the lyrics in a very flat way. Towards the end, Russell popped back in to sing, which was very fun. I'm glad he got a chance to rest his voice! (And that the song they chose for Ron wasn't "Shopping Mall of Love" for the third goddamn tour.)

10. ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT IS SEX

I was so happy when I heard the intro to this song, because I love In Outer Space so much!!!! It and Introducing Sparks are my two "Sparks albums that I passionately love for no reason at all." You bet I was singing along every time the chorus came around. Also, I'm pretty sure that Russell sang the wrong lyrics at a certain point? I think he sang "when your mother came home, saw us, and dropped dead" instead of "father." Or maybe it was an intentional lyric change?

11. DROWNED IN A SEA OF TEARS

Gotta be honest... this one was a blur to me. It was definitely beautiful! But I can't remember much about it, except that the backing band sounded GREAT.

12. JANSPORT BACKPACK

This song was probably my least favorite of the pre-release singles, and I still feel inclined to skip it whenever I listen to the album. However, it was much more fun to hear live, especially when watching Russell perform it! I still don't love it, though.

13. MUSIC THAT YOU CAN DANCE TO

NOW we're talking!! Last tour, I said that I thought this was one of the weaker songs in the set and that it could be taken out of the set. I do still think it's a fairly weak song... but it's THE surefire song to get people out of their seats and on their feet. Which is hilarious, because I feel like Sparks were mocking that kind of music when they released this song... and yet it does exactly what it's intended to do. This song elicited more bouncing from me, especially on my favorite part: "Get up, dear!" It did, however, start with technical difficulties, if I'm remembering correctly? I think it was either on this song or the next one... but when Russell started singing, we couldn't hear his voice at all. This only lasted for a few lines, thankfully.

14. WHEN DO I GET TO SING 'MY WAY'

Yessss. The classic part of the set. I just remember singing along and throwing my arms in the air during the chorus. I also cheered really loudly at the beginning of the song, because I had gotten the intros mixed up and I thought it was "The Number One Song in Heaven." Oops. Fortunately, I wasn't too far off, because coming up next was...

15. THE NUMBER ONE SONG IN HEAVEN

This is becoming my favorite song to experience live. It's so transcendent- there's little else like it. What I remember from this particular performance was GFG offering me a cough drop right as the intro began, and me urgently turning it down because MY FAVORITE PART OF THE SHOW WAS JUST STARTING TO HAPPEN, and that I started to sing the "la la la's" early, forgetting which part of the song the band had reached, and felt embarrassed about it. Despite that, it was, as usual, SUCH a good experience. I even banana'd like Russell for a little bit! (Just like I did on the last tour, and no, neither times were conscious, I just did it.)

16. THIS TOWN AIN'T BIG ENOUGH FOR THE BOTH OF US

I've honestly never been super into this song (although it's a really fun one to sing, and I love the intro to it so much), but I understand why Sparks play it every time they do a show. And they always make it fun, for sure. The only distinctly notable part, for me, is the high note at the end, and the suspense of whether Russell is going to hit it this time or not. This time... he did hit it! What an incredible singer.

Now, since "This Town" usually ends the main set, I was sure that the band was going to leave the stage and then come back for the encore. But after "This Town," Russell said they had a few more songs for us!!!! "We've got 29 albums, after all." My mind proceeded to be blown as the band began the intro for...

17. WHIPPINGS AND APOLOGIES

I'll admit... I haven't listened to this song very much, so I didn't recognize the intro at all. It wasn't until Russell sang the first line that I knew what it was, and I think I gasped or shouted "YES!" once I recognized it. I love that Sparks have been playing such old songs on their recent tours! I never would have expected to hear this one, just like I never would have expected to hear "Beaver O'Lindy" on the last tour. (Honestly, given that the full band is credited to writing "Beaver O'Lindy," I wondered if they had performed it to throw the other songwriters a bone (in regards to them receiving royalties from the performances). Hearing "Whippings and Apologies," however, suggested to me that maybe they just really like A Woofer In Tweeter's Clothing. No complaint from me.)

18. LORD HAVE MERCY

This was another one that I heard during the Non-Comm set, and I was really excited about hearing it live. And it was so beautiful! I think the Glasgow performance was the first time that I've ever done "the wave" in all earnestness (though I didn't keep it up for the entire song). The song just demanded it, idk!

After the band left the stage, while we were all cheering waiting for them to come back, what was probably my favorite moment of the night happened. POMU stepped aside from her spot and motioned me to come up to the front row, saying "you've come all this way!" I wasn't sure at first if I should do it, because I didn't want to leave my friend... but it was such a kind gesture that I couldn't waste it. I squeezed in between WDTGG and DD, and WOW. Just wow! Seeing the stage from so short a distance lowkey took my breath away. If being in the standing section was completely different from being seated, then being front row was even MORE different than just being in the standing section. I can't really explain it... I just know I was ecstatic.

When the band came back and took their places, I was shocked to hear the intro to...

19. THE GIRL IS CRYING IN HER LATTE

For some reason, this was just as big a surprise to me as songs like "Reinforcements," because I didn't expect Sparks to play anything from their previous album. I sure was happy to hear this one, though! Being up by the rail provided me with the perfect opportunity to grab it and headbang for dear life, too. Also... oh my god, Russell was so close to us! I actually started wishing, when he wasn't on our side of the stage, that he would come over and make eye contact. His presence was just that special.

20. ALL THAT

Just as "So May We Start" is the perfect set opener, so "All That" is the perfect closer. I can't explain why, but this performance felt like it was directed towards us, the fans, in a way that previous performances of this song that I've seen hadn't felt. Russell seemed almost insistent on letting us know how grateful he and Ron are for us. And I felt the same way. When Russell sang "I can't believe my luck in meeting you," I sang along and threw my arms out towards him, because I just wanted him to know that I'm so grateful for the place that Sparks now occupies in my life. I really hope he knows how we feel. (I'm sure he does, as does Ron, probably.) Also, it was about halfway through the song (I think) when I realized... something very special is probably happening behind me. So I looked, and just as I had suspected, people were waving their cell phones in the air. It made me smile because that is such a goddamn cheesy gesture, but at a Sparks show, I feel it with all sincerity. Oh, I love this band.

I can't remember if there was anything to write home about during the band intros and the exit from the stage, although I do remember everyone chanting "RON! RON! RON!" :')

When the lights came up, I was struggling to process what I had just witnessed. I think I said "wow" to myself a few times. Then I sought the GFG, who asked me if this show had felt different from the shows in the US. I nodded. She asked me another question, probably if it was better than in the US or if I had liked it. I nodded again. She asked if I needed a hug. I nodded again. The words to describe my impressions of the show had completely fled from me. Until a few moments later, when I went to thank POMU for letting me stand in front of her for the encore, and ended up kind of yelling in her + her friends' direction: "THAT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! I'M SO GLAD I SAW THAT, BECAUSE IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME!" (This is not a verbatim quote, but I still feel the need to ask forgiveness for my utter incoherence...)

Pineapple came up to me a bit later and asked the same thing that the GFG had. Did this show feel different from the US shows I had seen? To be honest... while it did feel different, I honestly don't know if it felt different because of the UK audience, or if it felt different because I was in the standing section. I did stand up and dance several times when I last saw Sparks, and that felt so good and right. But there were plenty of songs for which I was seated, as well. I had the choice to either stand or sit. Being on my feet for the entire show may have invited a different vibe. However, I do think the UK audience was palpably different from the US audience. The last time I saw Sparks, it felt like a party, but I didn't feel like the audience was united in the same way that they were in Glasgow. Simultaneously, I felt like a stranger, a foreigner to whom the show was not necessarily directed. When Russell praised Scotland for taking MAD! to Number One, I clapped and cheered, but it felt like THEIR moment, not mine to celebrate. I was just a humble observer.

It was somewhere amidst the general mishmash of people leaving and other people starting to clean up the floor when I heard GFG laughing uncontrollably. She said "Didn't I say there would be a bra at the show?" And much to my surprise... there was a bra, lying on the floor by the barrier! I started to laugh uncontrollably as well, which only increased when a fan passing us commented: "I saw that bra in the bathroom earlier. How did it get there?" (According to one person's account, apparently it was thrown towards the stage like GFG had been joking about?? But I'll need to have more information on that immediately.)

Once we made it back out to the weird-ass lobby, it was time to say goodbye to the friends I had met at the show. Being tired, ill, and with my back hurting, all I wanted to do was get back to the hotel, so we called an Uber, which didn't arrive. Rather than wait outside the hall any longer, we crossed the street to get to Sainsbury's so that I could buy some snacks, because- not having finished my dinner- I was very hungry. One of the snacks I bought were some pineapple chunks. So that's how my Sparks concert experience ended- with me lying on the bed in my hotel room, shoveling pineapple chunks into my mouth while singing (when my mouth wasn't full) "PINEAPPLE! PINEAPPLE! PINEAPPLE FULFILLS EVERY NEED!!!" I'm sure the neighbors loved me.

Post-Script: Speaking of a certain Pineapple, it was three weeks later- literally THIS VERY WEEK- when I saw some of the photos from the Glasgow show that they had posted on Instagram. One was apparently a picture of the front of the venue. But it didn't look like the front of the venue to me. After doing some research, I figured it out. Remember how there were two entrances to the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall? Yeah, the one that GFG and went through was the back. Not the front, like I had been assuming. I'm not sure if I should feel like an idiot for not having realized that WAY sooner, or if I should just laugh and laugh because- what the hell kind of venue WAS that???

[betweentimeand42]

Okay, I get that it’s a fun choice for the setlist because they haven’t played it in a long time and I guess Ron performs the vocals on it when they do it live, which is always a good time. And, like most songs, maybe it sounds better live. I dunno.

WITH THAT SAID…

“L*** G** F****” makes me want to stab my eardrums out if I’m exposed to its backing track for longer than a few seconds, and unfortunately, the videos of it from Sparks’ most recent tour are no different.

[betweentimeand42]

Report from Brooklyn

Hello! Last Friday (9/12), I went up to New York to see Sparks. Here is my post about the concert, the crazy time I had getting there, and my impressions of some new places in New York that I visited.

On the night before I went to New York, I made sure I had everything prepared. I cooked breakfast and put it in the fridge so that I wouldn't waste time making it in the morning. I bought a sandwich and some nuts and cheese at the corner store to eat on the way up, since I would be traveling by bus and they don't serve food on buses (unlike trains). I packed up everything I needed- clothing, toiletries, book, phone, wallet- into a tote bag that I could bring through security at the theater. And by 5 AM the next morning, I was sitting out on my front porch waiting for an Uber to take me to the bus stop.

I should mention that in the weeks leading up to the show, I had experienced a lot of anxiety when thinking about it. I was nervous to go to the concert alone. I was nervous that the seat I bought wouldn't have a good view. I was nervous that I wouldn't be able to find anyone to stay with for the weekend and that I wouldn't have enough time to do everything that I wanted to do. This feeling lessened and excitement took over the closer I got to the show, but for a while there, I definitely had the feeling that something was going to go terribly wrong.

Well... something did go terribly wrong. Because shortly after I got out of my Uber, I realized that my phone was no longer in my pocket.

Thing is, once you realize something like that, there really isn't anything you can do! The bus was set to arrive at 6:15 and I had arrived at the stop at 5:40. I borrowed someone else's phone to call my mother and leave her a message saying my phone had been lost, and then... I waited for the bus. And got on the bus. And got off briefly in Delaware, where I borrowed someone else's phone to call again. Good news- my mother had managed to contact my Uber driver by repeatedly texting my phone over and over with "If you have this phone, please call this number," and they were going to meet up to get my phone back. Thus satisfied, I utilized the only superpower my anxiety has ever given me and made a Plan: As soon as the bus dropped me off in NYC, I would find a subway, use it to get to Brooklyn, find a library in Brooklyn, use it to access the internet to look up directions to Kings Theatre and to the nearest LIRR station, write down those directions (since printing would probably cost money), and then just hope that I didn't have 2FA turned on for my Facebook account, so I could message my friends with whom I was staying and let them know what had happened and when to expect me. Other than that... all I could do was enjoy a six-hour bus ride (thankfully, Tehanu by Ursula K. Le Guin helped me out a lot with that).

To try and make this part of the story a little shorter: Everything worked out as I planned it! I got to Brooklyn on the subway by jumping on the first train headed towards Brooklyn and getting off at Prospect Park, which was one of the places that I had wanted to visit in Brooklyn. The Brooklyn Public Library, by sheer coincidence, turned out to be a 20-minute walk straight down the road (as confirmed by the manager at the Wendy's where I dropped in to use the bathroom). The BPL staff were super helpful and set me up with a guest pass, which I used to get onto the computer and look up both my route and what time the box office at Kings Theatre opened. They also had a payphone (!) and I had exactly 4 quarters in my change purse (!!!), so I got to call my mom again, whereupon I found out that she had gotten my phone. I investigated the library (it's ENORMOUS), then went to Prospect Park and found the perfect tree under which to sit and read. Then, when the time felt right, I got on a jam-packed bus ("Pakt Like Sardines In a Crushd Tin Box"... that has never felt more accurate), which dropped me off a short distance from the theater. All with about half an hour to spare! So I went to find dinner.

I should also say at this point that all throughout my time in Brooklyn, I kept seeing things that I took as signs. When I got off the subway in Brooklyn, the first thing I saw/heard was a man playing clarinet, which was the first instrument I ever learned to play (and I still think of it as my main instrument, in a subconscious way) so it has a special place in my heart. As soon as I saw that, I felt like I was headed in the right direction (even though I had NO idea where I was going, hahaha). Then, when I got to the Brooklyn library, the first thing I saw when I walked in was... MOOMINS!! There was a big exhibit on the Moomins and Tove Jansson and since the only reason I know about Moomins is because of that picture that Russell took at the Moomin museum or whatever it was on the 2022 tour (good god why do I still remember that), I immediately thought... "Sparks are here! THEY'RE HERE!!" (Well, not at the library, obviously.) I also saw a book on one of the display easels in the children's section that was about the island of St. Kilda in the Outer Hebrides... after I had just been to the Outer Hebrides several months ago and had almost gotten to tour St. Kilda (too bad the weather was terrible)! All of these things signaled to me that everything was going to be okay.

(Also, I should say one more thing- BROOKLYN IS GORGEOUS. (Not that I brought any proof to take with me... I'm sorry, but the only thing I'm salty about regarding losing my phone is that I couldn't take ANY pictures on this trip, and there was so much to see. Boooooo.) I never thought I'd say that about any part of NYC (except maybe the Bronx, I really liked the one part of the Bronx that I've been to). I swear, every time I go to NYC, it cements my opinion that the city is actually kind of enjoyable as long as you get the fuck out of Manhattan. Anyway...)

While walking around the area of Brooklyn where the concert was taking place, looking for dinner, I noticed a lot of Mexican restaurants. This appealed to me greatly, for as I had told a friend before I went on this trip, I realized recently that I had eaten food from a different culture before each of the Sparks shows I've been to- Nashville hot chicken in 2022, Ethiopian in 2023, Indian in Glasgow this June, and now... Mexican food in NYC this month! The only question was, where should I go? Well, it didn't take long before I came across what first appeared to be a tattoo parlor... but their sign said they sold food, too?... and outside of it was a sandwich board that said "SPARKS MAD TOUR- START THE PARTY HERE!" Naturally, I figured this had to be the place for me to eat. It turned out to be both a bar AND a tattoo parlor (the latter being upstairs). And right at the opposite end of the bar from where I was sitting, I saw a man in a Sparks T-shirt! I didn't feel like talking to anyone, but it made me happy to see him. (You know what also made me happy? Chicken empanadas.)

When I finished dinner and left the bar, the box office at Kings Theatre was open, so I went back and saw that a line was forming. I wasn't sure what the line was for, but I got in line anyway. It turned out that this was the VIP line (already??). I told the security guard outside that I needed my ticket reprinted, and he let me go into the box office and get it done, so now I had a ticket, and a physical one at that! The only thing left to do was... wait. And walk, because I didn't want to just stand there outside the theater for an hour. On my walk back to the theater after making a few loops around the block, I passed the bar where I had eaten dinner and saw/heard that they were now playing Sparks music! From my brief glimpse inside, it appeared that the man in the Sparks shirt whom I had spotted was still there, so perhaps he had something to do with that...

Finally, around 6:30, I decided that there was nothing better for me to do than get in line and wait at the theater. And so... the minor shitshow (which is maybe a bit strong but I can't think of a more fitting, milder term for it) of getting everyone sorted into the right lines began. When I came back to the theater, the VIP line was still there, so I knew not to get into that line. The security guard told me to weave my way through all the metal fences that they had set up behind this big gate (sort of like how the lines at places like Disneyworld are set up, or like customs at an airport). When I got to the front of the line, I saw that I was standing behind about three people. But only one of them was actually in front of me- the other two were standing in a separate line that branched off from the beginning of the line I was in, right in the gap between the metal fences and the gate. Apparently that was the "priority access" line, though that made me wonder- if there's a separate VIP line already, what the fuck do we need priority access for?

Two older women got in line behind me, and they were already bitching a bit about the line and how they had no idea where to go. To be fair, the security guard who was guarding this line wasn't providing much help. Since I was standing close to him, I overheard the instructions that the other guard had given him- "This line is the standard admission, and this line is priority access. VIP ticket holders are over here, they're the ones who had merch mailed to them." That was it. He didn't explain how the standard ticket holders were supposed to enter the line. So, when people started approaching the guard to say that they had standard tickets, the guard simply slid back the gate to let them in, and several joined the priority access line. Meanwhile, the security guard over by the VIP line was telling standard ticket holders to start at the end of the metal fences and weave their way through them to the end of the line... Do you see what I mean by a minor shitshow?? This gave the women behind me plenty to bitch about... until one of the ticket holders in the priority access line turned to all of us and went "So who's excited to see SPARKS?!" I said I was SUPER excited and asked if she had seen them before. She said she saw them twice on the Two Hands, One Mouth tour, and once in 1982, though she couldn't recall what album they had been touring for at the time. As soon as she started wondering aloud, the guy standing directly behind me blurted "Angst In My Pants!" like clockwork. Gotta love that encyclopedic knowledge...

Finally, the priority access line was let into the venue (I pointed out sometime before that that technically, we didn't HAVE to be standing in line right now, because this was a seated show), and then... it was our turn!! SHOWTIME, BABY.

Once inside the Kings Theatre, I spent way longer than I had wanted to going through security (damn tote bag!), had a brief but pleasant encounter with @carcarrot (thanks again for the pin and the Leirin keychain! I love them!), and lined up to buy some merch (managed to snag Madder! on vinyl! Still haven't listened to it, but I probably will on Friday night!). Mostly, however, I could not stop gawking at the theater! No shade to the Royal Glasgow Concert Hall, but even if I had seen the front of that venue (long story if you haven't read my post about Glasgow), I still probably would have thought that the Kings Theatre is the most beautiful venue that I've seen Sparks in this year. And in general. Sorry. (Still so angry that I didn't have my phone to take pictures! ARGH.)

Not much to say about the rest of my time pre-show, except that the pre-show playlist was being piped through the speakers of both the lobby and the hall, and there was a lot of interesting jazz and pop and what sounded like film scores, and I really liked it! I ended up sitting next to a guy who had clearly gone to see the show on his own, just like me, but again, I wasn't feeling like talking- although I would come to regret that later (will explain why in a bit). The show started about 15 minutes late (maybe longer than that?), and I could see the guy next to me bouncing his feet in anticipation (as I was also doing). And then... AND THEN...

OH MY GOD! The twirling spotlights through the air were AMAZING! It suddenly hit me why I had initially hoped to be further back when I bought the standing section tickets for the Glasgow show- when you're further back, you can see the entire light show that Sparks puts on! All the while, exciting orchestral music was playing, and the band began to take the stage... And then there they were, Ron and Russell!!! As soon as I saw Russell, my heart leapt, because he was wearing my favorite of his suits, aka THE BEST SUIT I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE. I was so happy to see him not only wearing a different suit from the Glasgow show, but the one that I love the most!!

As soon as the music stopped, Russell announced: "So Brooklyn! I'm Russell and this is Ron! We are Sparks! May we start?" The guy next to me and I yelled in unison: "YES!!!!!!!!"

What can I say about the setlist that I didn't already say in my previous post? Well... During "So May We Start," I saw Ron smile <3 <3 (and I also saw him mouth the lyrics to a few of the songs later in the show). "Do Things My Own Way" just gets better and better- it felt like the sound was hitting my chest and I was absolutely vibing with that. (First Sparks show where I've ever felt like I needed earplugs. At some point, I thought: "is the clapping getting quieter?" No, Blue, your hearing is getting less sensitive...) "Academy Award Performance" was the first song that started getting people on their feet (that I saw, anyway). I wasn't quite ready to dance, but I went so nuts bouncing up and down in my seat that I thought, "I'll stand for the next one." Then "Goofing Off" began... and the people in front of me who were standing up sat down! Now I felt intimidated and didn't want to stand up (although I heartily punched the air and yelled the "hey! hey! hey!" part, even though no one around me was doing that). At the end of the song, though, while Russell was getting a drink of water or something, so many people started cheering and clapping that we all began to rise from our seats! Russell said "Thank you... We've got 28 albums, there's a lot more songs to get through!" or something like that.

Then, when "Beat the Clock" started after that... FUCK IT, THERE'S NO WAY I WAS SITTING DOWN FOR THAT ONE. I jumped up, despite the fact that most of the people around me were still sitting down, and immediately began busting some moves (lol). The guy sitting next to me got up too! His first time dancing that night, and we ended up dancing together! And while we were dancing, during the "bye bye bye bye bye bye bye" line, I pumped my fist to the rhythm of that line... And Russell looked in our direction. And he smiled. And he waved his hand to the rhythm, just like I was doing. And I don't CARE if he intended that to be for someone in a closer row (I was seven rows back, but a lot of people in front of me were sitting so I had to have been visible to some extent), I'M CLAIMING THAT MOMENT. At the end of that song, Russell said "That was fun... You Brooklyn people are a lot cooler than... other places!" (or something like that) And I'm going to claim that too, lol (even though I'm not from Brooklyn). I really love the thought that our dancing was what made that performance so fun for him.

"Suburban Homeboy" was so funny, because I hadn't had a clear view of Ron during the Glasgow show, and I hadn't realized that when Russell came back out at the end, Ron began swaying back in forth in time to the song with his typical Ron expression. (All while Russell the showman was hamming it up... God, I love these two so much.) The only song I really wasn't crazy about was "JanSport Backpack." Even seeing it live did very little for me. I was more excited for what it led to- "Music That You Can Dance To!" Which, ironically, is a song that I don't like very much on the album, but I love it when it's played live. This song is what finally got most of the theater up and moving (as usual), and it was so much fun! Then, WHAM- "When Do I Get to Sing My Way?" (I think it was around this time I started noticing that people were dancing in the aisles.) "The Number One Song In Heaven." (Still the number one song to see live, in my book. My GOD. Though the energy felt a little different at this show compared to Glasgow, to the point where I felt a little self-conscious raising my hands in the air at the end like I usually do, because the vibe just wasn't quiiiiiite right for it.) Then "This Town Ain't Big Enough For The Both Of Us," which I think I've said before that I don't SUPER love on the record... But I think this was my best live experience with it, because everything about the dancing I was doing felt so right compared to my dancing during "The Number One Song In Heaven." It just lends itself to pogoing and clapping SO well! (And Russell didn't even appear to try for the high note, haha... he held his microphone away from his mouth.)

After that, I had to sit down for a moment and rest my neck, thinking everyone was going to sit back down for the last two songs... But they all remained on their feet during "Whippings and Apologies," where I caught my second wind and danced, and "Lord Have Mercy!" I tried to start "the wave" during that song, but it didn't really catch on the way it did in Glasgow (though several people were doing it, just not all in the same row). I'm pretty sure Russell encouraged it, though...

The encore was great. I lost my absolute mind when "The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte" was played- my experience in Glasgow taught me that it is SUCH a great dance song (I hadn't danced to it on the 2023 tour). In fact, I even lovingly borrowed some moves from @dinkydiamond 's epic dancing in Glasgow- I hope you won't mind :) Then, of course, "All That" was as beautiful as always. (And if I recall correctly, we were all still on our feet by this point!! A rare thing for a seated show!) Russell said that Sparks hoped to come back soon... yeah, I hope they do too! The band bowed slightly out of sync (lol) and they took the audience photo, which I completely failed to make it into because Russell was blocking me from sight. (Although my peace-sign waving, bracelet-clad arms MIGHT JUUUUUUST be barely visible... maybe, if I'm not deluding myself.)

At the very, very end of the show, when Ron and Russell were alone onstage, Russell pushed Ron forward, but Ron didn't say anything, he just stood and smiled and accepted the applause. This led to Russell stepping in front of Ron, as if he wanted all the attention. What a little brother. :') Then they left the stage, the lights came back on... And the guy next to me turned to me to enthuse about what a great show it had been! After we gushed for a bit, he turned to leave, and I saw that his jacket said TALKING HEADS on it in the Stop Making Sense font. So I told him I liked his jacket, and we gushed about Stop Making Sense for a little bit! It turned out he was seeing David Byrne on tour next month, same as I am! However, he is seeing him at Radio City Music Hall, and I am... not. So that was a missed connection. (Biggest regret of the night- that I didn't talk to that guy sooner!)

When I was leaving the theater, I had a brief but pleasant encounter with @dinkydiamond and their friend, who was wearing an epic silver sequined suit just like Russell in the 80's. I then saw another person wearing a silver suit just like that standing outside the theater! (And that person was with someone who was DECKED OUT in Ron's full drag outfit from the "I Predict" video. I had actually spotted them when I was on my way to the restroom right after the show, and the mere sight caused me to blurt "YOUR OUTFIT IS AWESOME!!")

Finally, it was time to leave the theater and take the bus to the LIRR station, which took me so long to find, even with my handwritten directions, that on my way back from New York, I took a very expensive cab to get to the bus stop because I wasn't about to wander around for an hour trying to find the right subway stop (even though I had written it down). The rest of the trip was fun- stayed with friends on Long Island, went to Jones Beach, had pizza and watched Star Trek with them- but god... That show, man. I don't know if I can possibly rank it- I'd say both Brooklyn and Glasgow were special in their own ways. But I just can't believe how much fun I have whenever I go see Sparks. And I can't believe that they've remained so consistently excellent. And I can't believe that it's all over (for me, anyway. I hope everyone else seeing Sparks on tour this month has an EXCELLENT time <3 ).

[betweentimeand42]

I think we should hold a moment of silence for all Sparks fans who went to 2 different shows on the most recent tour but Russell wore the same suit both times

[betweentimeand42]

Something that just occurred to me: Sparks are releasing an album that was recorded live from the Moon. And on their current tour, Punch Brothers have been taking their audience to outer space. Conclusion: These two bands need to do a show together... IN SPACE!

[betweentimeand42]

Sparks at Non-Comm 2025 (setlist & thoughts)

After watching the stream from Non-Commvention, at which Sparks were guest performers, I feel the need to share the setlist and some impressions. DO NOT KEEP READING IF YOU WISH TO AVOID TOUR SPOILERS, as it is very likely that the songs they played tonight will be played on the upcoming summer/autumn tour.

Russell: "So, Non-Comm, may we start?"

"So May We Start"

When Russell hit the first "so may we start?" where the full band comes in, the camera cut away so I didn't see if he did his signature leap in the air... but I was happy that it cut away, because it cut straight to Ron, who was SMILING HAPPILY. <3

2. "Do Things My Own Way"

Sounded pretty good live!

Russell: "All you Non-Commers, or whatever you're called [...] This is from one of our ancient albums."

3. "Goofing Off"

ASDFGHJKL;!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!1111!!!! INTRODUCING SPARKS MY BELOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

4. "Academy Award Performance"

!!!!! Russell didn't hit the high notes at the end, instead wisely singing the last few lines down an octave.

5. "Running Up a Tab at the Hotel For the Fab"

Heavy on the guitar, and very hypnotic. I love it already.

6. "Drowned In a Sea of Tears"

Sounded REALLY good live. <3

7. "Lord Have Mercy"

I couldn't make out all the lyrics, but it sounds like a beautiful love ballad. Musically, it reminded me a lot of "It Doesn't Have to Be That Way." Ron's getting sentimental in his older years, eh...

8. "The Number One Song in Heaven"

Ron danced, but only for a very short amount of time. As he returned to his keyboard, Russell made a downward gesture with his hands as if he were saying "get back in your seat!" He then grabbed a towel to wipe his own face, and wiped Ron's forehead with it.

9. "This Town Ain't Big Enough For the Both of Us"

Russell can still hit that high note!

[betweentimeand42]

Sparks Tour 2025 is over and even though I already did writeups of my two shows, I just want to reminisce for a moment. Some of my favorite memories:

Being beckoned to the front row in Glasgow and proceeding to headbang to "The Girl Is Crying In Her Latte"

The indoor queue in Glasgow- meeting friends, giving out bracelets, pulling up chairs to sit in

Hearing Russell Mael, a 76-year-old man, declare "SUCK IT!" to England for not getting Sparks to #1

Being utterly blindsided by the setlist in Glasgow- "All You Ever Think About Is Sex," "Whippings and Apologies," and "Beat the Clock" in particular

The incredible saga of hilarity and confusion that was my experience with the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall- being dropped off in the back and not realizing it, all the various queues we had to stand in, thinking my friends were late until I discovered there was a queue on the other side of the building that they had been in, not knowing until AFTER my vacation that the side I had been dropped off at was the back and then finding out several weeks after that that the front lobby had been open to the public even before the doors were scheduled to open

Laughing my ass off over the bra lying in the floor of the Glasgow Royal Concert Hall

Arriving in Glasgow on the day of the show with a sore throat, a nasty cough, and sheer exhaustion from a red-eye flight, and somehow not caring about any of those things as soon as it sunk in that I WAS IN SCOTLAND and I WAS SEEING SPARKS THAT NIGHT

Dancing to "Beat the Clock" in Brooklyn and possibly catching Russell's eye

Witnessing the beauty that was the Kings Theatre in Brooklyn

The woman in line outside the Kings Theatre who broke through the disgruntlement of the fans behind me by exclaiming, "So who's excited to see SPARKS?!"

Experiencing the Brooklyn show completely phone-free

All the moments in Brooklyn when my seat-neighbor's dancing and cheering synced up with mine, like we were vibing on the same plane

Seeing THE BEST SUIT EVER in person in Brooklyn

Enthusing about how good the show was with a friend in the merch line afterwards. HOW are they THAT good, every single time?! I don't get it.

And of course, there are so many more great memories, but I've written all about them in my show writeups so I'm not going to repeat myself. Suffice to say... Sparks concerts are truly something else. Congratulations, Ron and Russell, for finishing another tour and bringing so many people together to appreciate your band! <3

[betweentimeand42]

I know that a lot of y’all don’t want setlist spoilers so I’m not going to say the name of the song, but OH MY GOD, SPARKS ARE PLAYING ONE OF MY FAVORITES AT NON-COMM AND I NEVE RFUCKING EXPECTED TO HEAR IT LIVE

AHHHHHH I HOPE THIS IS ON THEIR SETLIST DOR THE TOUR!!!!!