I’m rereading the Enders shadow series (side note: I think that the mark of a really good book series is that it was my favorite when I was ten and it’s just as good nine years later) and I’m thinking about what I promised myself I’d remember from when I was ten. One, I promised I’d remember that I wanted to be Peter and Valentine as a ten year old like they did, I just wasn’t articulate enough. Card wrote the children well and in promised myself I’d remember the aspirations of a ten year old. Two, I never cared about ender and I always idolized Valentine and hated Peter. (Yes at nine years old I was anti-war, much to the chagrin of my ex-military father). I wanted to be a good person like Valentine, and I never never never wanted to be Peter because he was horrible.
And now I’m thinking back at my hatred of Peter and realizing that he’s my favorite character now because I was totally Peter all through my life and I’m finally learning to be shadow of the giant Peter, not Enders game Peter, and I think that most ten year olds are just inherently monsters cause they don’t know how not to be. Also, I think you become a much better person when you leave home and don’t have to constantly compare yourself to others who are clearly superior.