is it ethical to get my dog neutered? he humps his bed pillow a lot until it’s soaked and I basically need to wash it on the daily and it’s a bit of a gross inconvenience but I feel that it’s mean to get his balls chopped off. like it’s not like he wouldn’t notice?
(DISCLAIMER: I am not a vet. This is not medical advice. Please, please, talk to a vet before making surgery decisions.)
Where you live is going to have a huge impact on this. In some areas, particularly the urban USA, it is standard to have your dog neutered/spayed as a young adult. In other areas, particularly Europe, it is standard to leave the dog intact unless/until problems arise.
For chronic humping: I would talk to your vet and then a good, force free trainer. Neutering may or may not do anything, because at this point he’s had a lot of opportunity to practice the behavior and it’s very well ingrained.
As for neutering in general: It depends. Long term, it has both positive and negative physical impacts, and positive and negative behavioral impacts. Short term, the concern is mostly with a) how safe a surgery is (the dog will be anesthetized, which always carries some risk that depends on the dog’s overall health, age, and breed) and b) pain management following surgery.
He does not know his balls are there in the same way that you and I know our genitalia are there. Once neutered, already established behaviors will continue occurring, so it’s not going to change him that way. So is it mean to neuter? It depends on if you think that reproduction falls under freedom to express normal and natural behavior (from the Five Freedoms). Some people will say yes. Some won’t. I think it depends on species, and in dogs, where relatively little of their life is structured around reproduction, and where there is an imbalance of pet dogs in the first place (some areas have too many, others too few), I think your energy is better spent in making sure he gets to express other dog behaviors, particularly sniffing and foraging for food.
In sum, for this specific case, talk to your vet, and for neutering in general, if done at the right age with a good vet and without a hope that it will change behaviors: Sure, go right ahead.
Further reading: IAABC 2018 article with a good table of pros and cons. 2020 research paper looking at age at spay/neuter and joint disorders.
