Ok guys, @spevvy and I watched this last Sunday (just now getting around to this)
Me: Ok, but can I just say it really bothers me when people call him Wesley when it’s Westley.
Me: I want someone to give me a smoulder like that
Spev: It’s a smoulder to beat Flynn Rider’s
Me: Yes, move over Flynn Rider. I want Westley
Spev: Who wouldn’t, Westley is a real pirate
Me: And much more romantic
Spev: Yes very much so. Flynn wouldn’t leap into the lightening sand to save Rapunzel.
Spev: Ngl but Humperdink must be at least 100 and HELLA GAY WITH THE COUNT. It’s all very creepy.
Me: Oh I guarantee he’s Humperdinking with the count.
Me: He makes use of that 6 fingered hand
Me: I just want to hug Fezzick.
Spev: “I’ll just have to find myself a new giant, that’s all!” Wow. Cold.
Me: He only cares about causing trouble for some unknown reason.
Spev: Because he’s a short bald man with a speech impediment and those fellas have crippling inferiority complexes and therefore are not to be trusted. I AM SORRY BUT INIGO IS NOT TALKING ABOUT FENCING HE IS TALKING ABOUT WANKING. “my left hand is the only way I can be satisfied. If I use my right hand it is over too quickly.” Holy shiizzballs
Me: OH MY GOD! HOW CAN I NOT HAVE NOTICED THAT BEFORE... I would expect nothing less than that from a man in tight leather pants.
Spev: “Rest well and dream of large women” what a parting shot
Me: I feel like it’s very nice of him to not kill the men who intended to kill him.
Spev: He’s a gentleman. Well, except for Vizzini.
Me: Humperdink is definitely proving the gay theory wearing that purple tunic trimmed in fur.
Spev: I KNOW RIGHT. HE MAY AS WELL VOMIT A RAINBOW. Princess Beardcup. Humperdink and the Count are the real hidden love story in this film. I’m sure there’s a fanfic about it.
Me: I wouldn’t be surprised. If I were Buttercup I’d take advantage of the fact Vizzini is distracted to overtake him.
Spev: You should 100% be the heroine in a swashbuckler film. You’re wasted in your current roles. You were born to be a kickass princess.
Me: OK Buttercup, if you can describe his eyes, you should know it’s him.
Me: This is why I’m Buttercup. I’d totally push him down the hill and then fall. Although I’d chop off that ponytail.
Spev: Yes. That’d be the first job.
Me: I’d be like “before we can get it on, that ponytail will be gone”
Spev: You’re not even wrong.
Me: The look on the count’s face when he promised to torture him, Like, “as you wish”
Me: Ngl, I totally wouldn’t mind finding a half naked Westley on my table.
Spev: Well. If he insisted on the table....
Me: “Of course... my love” These two. Dressing alike and wearing such bejeweled outfits.
Spev: Oh my god. I really am Fred Savage in this. Totally against smoochy stuff but DO NOT FUCK WITH MY OTP GET IT RIGHT MAN OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL GET OUT OF THIS BED AND I WILL BOP YOU ON THE NOSE!
Me: The secret knock and the back door opens to him... “You know how much I love watching you work”
Spev: They’re not even subtle.
Me: Nope. They gaze into each other’s eyes quite often.
Spev: It’s love. The gayest evillest love that ever loved.
Me: Miracle Max gives me life.
Spev: He gives Westley life too. To blave.
Me: I’m the wife, I’d bother the fuck out of him until I got what I wanted.
Spev: I was just about to say that!! You would totally chase him around shouting “Humperdink” until he caved!!
Spev: Gentlyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!
Me: Like God. Buttercup was so horny and jumped a man who was mostly dead a half hour ago. I don’t blame her but he asked for gentle.
Me: I wonder how Humperdink felt finding his butt buddy dead.
Spev: Bummed. Pun 100% intended.
Spev: “’Ello, Lady!” Fezzik’s just the best. He totally saved the day and got 0 credit.
Me: “You did something right” Fezzik does many things right.
Spev: He does loads right!!!!
Me: I like to believe Fezzik moved in with Buttercup and Westley and took care of their brood of children,
Me: He’d protect them with his life and dawn over them.
Spev: He totally would. He’d be the best uncle ever
Me: And Inigo would stop by every once in awhile to teach them swordsmanship
Spev: Yes, Inigo is basically Puss in Boots
As always that’s our best from the commentary. Join me tomorrow as I post (late) the commentary from... Hairspray!